[caterpillar79]

You're right. I have to work on myself more. It will take time, so I will be patient. I need to morph in my cocoon...

He kept calling. I wonder how I can make him realize how much he'd left behind. If I cut all communication, will it do the job?

[WildChild]

Sound like he want to play and keep a life line to you. What do you want?

[Joy]

ok he wants to accomplish so much more before he gets married........... in real life two people get married to help each other accomplish things cause well they have similar interest and want to expereince similar events together.

This man is not worth it.

He wants to date more and expereince more women before he settles down that is what that tells me .

Don't lose another moment of sleep over this man or think about it anymore..... he gave you his answer.

You are worth it go out have some fun find someone who wants to have all that fun with you and have the whole package. Not someone who wants to compartmentalize their life when i reach this i'll do this. Go get it all!

[caterpillar79]

You are very right about this. Now, I understand myself more. I want the next guy to be there with me altogether. I want the next guy to be "the one", and in that, I will take my time knowing him more. Start from being friends and see if it blossoms to something more.

I have met some potential people in a month or so, even without really looking. They come up like mushrooms - I just go out at the park or grocery and pop! Here's a great guy talking to me, and eventually see him in the same spot the next week, same day...lol...and ask for a date/my number, etc....

It amazes me at how they find me irrisitible, without me trying.lol!

I only hope and wish that whoever i decide to build my friendship with will be able to prove his worth and shine his true colors. I am hoping to meet the one who offers unconditional love...lol!

[artist1633]

He has issues, it is not as if he is in doubt. He clearly does not want marriage. He will be an old person before he realizes he has lost a good person. I have a friend who is 76 years old. When he divorced he began dating a wonderful lady who loved him.
After dating and loving each other for 3 years, she finally told him goodbye.
Now, as an elderly man, he regrets not marrying her.
He keeps telling me it was the single regret he has in all his life. At the time, many years ago, he couldn't bring himself to marry her, even though he loved her with all his heart.
Life goes on. Marry another, especially if his ex has experienced the same thing. He is not changing.

[sine101]

wow! I totally agree with Chandler.. I have been going through the same thing.. My ex sd the same as yours.. im not sure if i have plans for you in the future... all that stood out to me when he sd that was.. I want to get married, but not to you... well after that we took off to Europe.. he came back and we started to hang out again.. everyweekend... our friends still called us a couple.. finally one day i got up and sd we cant do this anymore.. i need the time to get over you... he sd that was good choice.. a couple weeks went by, we sd hello here and there and that was it. Finally i was out one night, someone drugged my drink at the bar and i was lost.. i had no idea where i was, no shoes, no cell phone etc (thank god nothing happened) i called him in the middle of the night to come get me and he got really mad... he didnt want to talk to me again.. he thought i purposely did it!
It comes down to him being selfish! Getting the best of both worlds.. it sucks, and its really hard to let go..trust me.. but i would get running sista! He needs to realize that you will not sit there on a shelf so pretty waiting for him to come back when he realizes that he cant find another like you!

[caterpillar79]

I made it through the first month and will turn two months soon. I never thought I will make it this far. I still have the bruises and the scar ... some "ibuprofens" and "mefenamic acids" helped ease the pain. I am currently keeping myself busy with all the things that I wanted to accomplish before. I actually wanted to add another, but I can hardly find the time.

I have met a few great people, both men and women. They all enrich my life. The ex and I have re-established communication lines and we are mending the friendship. I don't know for sure where this would lead. But I have gained a lot of lessons here, and also formed a better perspective of myself and my expectations of who I would want to be with.

Thanks to all the people like you who in one way or the other encourage people like us.

[jaygirlweek96]

I am so shocked seeing this. I dint know others had replied. However I was not succesful.
I went back to him again! Yesterday we had the similar talk and broke up all over again. He begged me telling me how much he loved me
But that he was not sure what he wanted. As in he was not sure if I was what he wanted. I broke it off again and this time I truly want to move on
I bought a book called its called a breakup cos its broken. I hope that would help. I love him so much and it seems I can't live without him
He kept tellimg me he loved me. he did not want me to go. How can u love someone but not want to marry her?
He said he is not commitment phbic and wants to get married soon. He is just not sure if its mee.
Caterpillar u cld PM me so we cld chat and always support each other. I need help. Or if u have a blackberry we cld do bbm

[caterpillar79]

Will do Jaygirl...I found the support that I needed from this site. Here, I have found my mum and my two sisters, and a lot of friends and a cute adversaryl...lol!

[jaygirlweek96]

I think I want to stop taking his calls. He says he still wants us to be best friends! Its not helping me at all. This whole thing has increased my insecurity!
Caterpillar, were u taking ur ex's calls or u blanked him completely