[Guest]

I haven't had a paycheck in 3 years, but I bring rather large sums of money to the table. That's how I'm able to pay off the debt that we have. Most cases of IBS will allow the person to work, but in my case- there is no way possible unless I could work from home doing something. I'm not the type of guy who can work in an office setting, I wouldn't last a day. On the otherhand, I have a severe case of heat intolerance. 85* and I'm stuck inside. I've been in the hospital several times for heat stroke and each time I get it more easily. I'm truly not making excuses, I have a Lot of medical issues. Not supposed to lift aything over 20 lbs., had a heart attack 4 years ago. Everytime I think of something I can do, I get shut down due to health reasons. Only thing I could do is to be a male prostitute, but I can't live off pennies.

The income I bring in comes from investments I have made when I worked. Things have been squeeky around here due to the stock market, but we're not starving yet. She makes a decent salary, but I have made the majority of the money since we got married. It's just that right now, I make my money quarterly and not weekly.

[Guest]

I still can't figure out why she will not take a day off to spend with me. I have been begging for affection for over 10 years. I have asked for time together for over 10 years and I get the same answer. I think it's time for me to shut up about all of it and do my own thing. Consequences be as they may- I'm worn out and sick of it all. I'll pay off her Explorer and the other debt and stick around to see if the crabs leave, if not - I'm gone. I can find another woman who would appreciate me for who and what I am. Some Lady is out there right now that would love to be with me and would like my sexual side very much. Maybe I should quit looking at the past and focus on the future.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

IDK Mark, I'm trying to come up with logical reasons but I guess, if it's not there, it's not there, and maybe you are right, to look towards your future..

We can't have no present and try to regain the past.

[Maximus]

MarkT,

Your posts are always heartfelt, at least when you are not pulling jokes
I have been trying to put my head around your situation.
In the process, I have this view on an account balance.
On one side there is all the things you do and pay for, and the other there is all the things you expect to receive.

Is it a projection of mine on how you approach the relationship ?

Sometimes we forget that Love is not a business transaction Me, the first...

[Guest]

Well Maximus, Great News!! I paid off All of our debt today. It should relieve the financial stress on her Big Time! One other thing I have decided to do... No more loans at all for anything, we will just save and pay cash for everything. That should help our situation.
True, relationships aren't like business transactions. My love I give to her freely and without any strings attached. She is the only woman I have ever Truly loved and the Mother of my child, how could I Not Love her? I'm past in love with her, if that's possible. I know this sounds corny or odd, but she is the air I breathe. Things are getting so much better in the past few days. She laughs and smiles now, it floods my soul with happiness to see her bright smile. It makes my day when she kisses me like she Wants to and not like she has to. It just makes life so much better to be with a genuinely happy woman. I'm filled with joy for her and hope she continues to feel this way.

[Mes T]

Mark I'm confused, a couple of posts ago you were considering leaving her in the "past" and finding a woman who can appreciate you?

Your posts indicate to me that you're constantly interchanging between the two extremes (she's the air you breathe one day and you're sick of it all the next), and it's a little bit hard to follow?

[BabyGirl]

I so agree with Mes, I feel like I'm watching the Wimbledon Tennis Tournament.
It is good that today things seem Brighter for you.

It's Great that you got some Money and out of Debt. Money issues can cause allot of Stress and Arguments, But I just don't see that the bills paid off are the Reason, she may be more Sexually Loving.

You have been on and off about wanting a woman to love you for who you are ( Handicapped by Disability reasons ... medical and injuries) and were ready to leave because she didn't seem to " Love You Sexually " You said she talked Divorce also.

Now that you have Money , even if you paid off everything and are broke again, She now seems to " Love You " more ? You are in 7th heaven over a smile or a kiss ?


What happens Mark, when that money runs out and you have to depend on her paycheck again ? Will you be back to the No Sex, leave her again ? What happens if she just decides to want a Divorce, now that all the debts are paid off and if your State allows, she'll get 50 % of the value of everything you own together ?

I'm not trying to be mean here, but an concerned that you are now living in your " Up Mode " and how and what you will feel if things get to your " Down Mode" again ?

You just seem as Mes said, Bouncing from one Extreme to the Other.

[Guest]

I have been thinking about this and you are right about the Up/ Down Mode. It's driving me crazy quite frankly- my mood seem to follow her mood, up one day and in the toilet the next. I have balanced myself out on this and she is still bouncing, just not as much. The bills are paid and the money won't last forever, but it will last long enough for me to get disability. Just talked to my attorney and he said I have about a 95% chance of getting it. He has seen cases of IBS not as bad as mine go through as recently as last week. He thinks I won't have any trouble at all with getting this. Everything is paid off and the stress for her hasn't eased up and won't until she sits down to write the bills and they are gone. That's when she will feel the relief.

[Guest]

I had another thought, she is more loving than before. Maybe she realizes that my love for her is real and I'm not playing any games. Maybe she wants this to work out. If she gets a divorce, she will be the only one in her family to do so. It would break her parents heart if she did, not to mention mine. I just think the finances for 3 years have played a large part in this and me being home bothers her. I do the dishes and work around here and she seems to be in a much better mood than before. I'll have to give it some time to really see a change in her. I'll stick it out, I do love her very deeply and hope we stay together... she is the air I breathe. We'll see what happens, but for now all I can do is all I can do.

[Guest]

Speaking of the UP and DOWN thing. My sister was diagnosed as bi-polar, ya think maybe? I always thought of myself as being on an even keel. Maybe I'm different in person that I come across on here. I asked my doctor about it and he said I have never indicated any signs of it. Now, I'm wondering if it's possible. The mood swings I have had lately are tied to her's as I see it, but I need some more input on this. Anyone see it? or even think I could be? I mean, I am here for honest opinions and help in my relationship and if it helps- hey, that's what I'm here for, right? It's 12:15AM here and I'm very tired -
Good Night All!