[Evolve]

I'm a guy and wants to share a little wisdom. With the way people are having sex casually. There are so many guys unwilling to marry(girls quite willing). Rate of marriage is down and divorce is up. I am not saying to be celibate, but girls should consider a guy's psyche. Look up on retroactive jealousy and madonna ***** syndrome. Guys screw around not caring his previous '****s', then when after meeting a great gal he cares truly, but.. she's been around the block and it changes everything. Marry her? Wait a minute.. How could the one be that way? Its primal instinct. Double standard? Yes. Reality? Yes.
Rate of marriage is plummeting as female promiscuity is up around the world. last frontier of female sexual freedom is in asia, and divorce rate up by leaps and marriage shrinking. I'm willing to bet that this is one of the major cause. Think about it and use it to your gain. Do you know why no one is even discussing this? (silently encouraging even) Population control. Ok, I digress, but think about it the most promiscuous country (western) has the least population growth.

[Hugo-B]

I was of the understanding that Asia (China in particular) has actually had to implement - impose actually - measures to control their population, whilst ours 'the West' has a population which is growing at an alarmingly rapid pace.

I don't keep up to date with statistics regarding marriage and such, last I heard British teenage girls had the wort sexual health in Europe and one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates (encouraged no doubt by our benefit system). I was of the understanding that the divorce rate is 50% and this obviously doesn't take into account the number of unhappily married couples who don't (for whatever reasons) go through divorce proceedings.

Without being cynical, apart from keeping a woman happy there is actually little to no benefit to a man in getting married. There is less detriment if you have children since the Law is already heavily in favor of the woman should she decide to leave you and take the children, in some circumstances there it could even be argued she has a financial incentive. As soon as a man marries a woman his net worth halves there and then, even if a man marries a woman with a net worth equal or greater to his (common nowadays) once children are introduced into the equation the Law, in separation and divorce proceedings will heavily favor the woman if she wants full custody of the children, consequently entitling her to financial support from her husband/ex husband and usually permitting her to keep the family home. My understanding is the more money the man has the more he obviously stands to lose in a divorce.

There are exceptions, but they are exceptions and not the norm. I know some women have been treated appallingly by the former partners/husbands in terms of child and financial support and I know the UK has different Laws from the USA which vary from state to state. In 2007 in the USA the biggest transference of money to women from men was made via divorce settlements, the wealthiest women in the world acquired their money through divorce, and the vast majority of divorce proceedings started after two years, which is conveniently the minimum length of time the marriage has to last for the woman to qualify for 50% of the man's net worth after divorce.

Here's an example. I know a Canadian guy who was married for two years. He was pretty successful and has a big house. His wife worked in a call centre and was pretty much fully supported by him and spent the little she earned on herself. About the two year mark, after living off of his back for two year she starts an affair at work. She's having sex with someone before he even knows they are separated and is pregnant with his baby (the affair guy) before the divorce is finalized. The Law awards her $50,000 for this behavior in the divorce settlement. I'd rather have burned my house and my money than given it to her.

[Evolve]

I agree with you that incentives/reason for a man to be married is alot less now than say a few decades ago. Sex and closeness is abundant outside of marriage. What I'm trying to say is that female promiscuousness is the main reason a man reject marriage by incentive or instinct. Why would anyone want to be responsible for someone else's past and garbage(incentive). If she's your garbage, you have no choice but to be responsible and naturally attached(instinct) Sorry for being crude, but it's a man's psyche/ego. I may be wrong, but Feminism may be the downfall of institution of marriage but have increase female's work ability/independence. Mix result.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

How old are you can I ask?

[Evolve]

I'm in my 30s.. My opinions are my own and may not be true. But it's based on articles and statistics also from my observations of friends and families as well as personal experience.

[Hugo-B]

I agree with you that incentives/reason for a man to be married is alot less now than say a few decades ago. Sex and closeness is abundant outside of marriage. What I'm trying to say is that female promiscuousness is the main reason a man reject marriage by incentive or instinct. Why would anyone want to be responsible for someone else's past and garbage(incentive). If she's your garbage, you have no choice but to be responsible and naturally attached(instinct) Sorry for being crude, but it's a man's psyche/ego. I may be wrong, but Feminism may be the downfall of institution of marriage but have increase female's work ability/independence. Mix result.

Men and women can only be promiscuous with a willing participant, it takes two to tango. Put people in a free society and this is what they choose to do. One major factor we cannot ignore, which I believe contributes greatly is that the state (with the current benefit) system are prepared to pick up the bill, covering the costs of people recklessly procreating as a consequence of their behavior. Obviously not every teenage girl and individual on benefits are promiscuous or undeserving of support. I'm alluding here to people who live their lives on benefit and acquire social housing as a result of procreation.

[Hugo-B]

Female independence is good. Oppression of anyone is bad. Feminism taken to the extreme is the choice of the individual and 'extreme feminists' are pretty rare in my opinion. When I speak to one I simply ask them "will you work to the same retirement age of a man, in order to be equal to him? Since your statistically going to live longer than a man I think it should be men who retire earlier". That's always guaranteed to ruffle some feathers, and I',m not aware of any feminists who have chosen to wait an additional 5 years to retire and draw their pension to put themselves on an equal footing with men. What they really want is equal rights when it suits them and preferential treatment when they can't compete.

Are you essentially saying that women who choose to not live a chaste life are the reason divorce rates are high and marriage and population growth is declining? That was basically what I deciphered from your original post.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Evolve why look at stats? Look sweet at you and what you want but also life and how it evolves.

Guys screw around not caring his previous '****s',

Here I want to say I beg your pardon? Why call a woman a name?

At 30 what do you understand about women? How many women have you slept with not caring about their feelings? Not wanting to marry them just wanting sex?

What do you think though that those women thought when a man said, he wanted to sleep with them because 'I love you" ?

then when after meeting a great gal he cares truly, but.. she's been around the block

She was a great girl she is a great girl from the way you state things, you guys screwed her , used her and then she was used goods and not worthy yet you did it.

What really is your arguement? I feel that you want that virgin but at 30 is that possible? And that you have been hurt, why not give us more instead of telling us you are giving us girl advice....

[Evolve]

I wasn't calling names, im just trying to give a picture of the basic male mindset. From your response, i believe you are quite familiar with it. Sorry if my depiction offends you. No it's not about me.. Or you.. Just explaining the current phenomenon in this century's dating scene. And if I were a girl, knowing this nature won't hurt. And I'm all for woman's freedom, especially smart independent woman. The weak and follow my friends and men and trend is this advice is for. Freedom is a liability to such character. Get smart is the message. Sorry If I offend anybody.

[Evolve]

"Are you essentially saying that women who choose to not live a chaste life are the reason divorce rates are high and marriage and population growth is declining? That was basically what I deciphered from your original post."

There are many reasons, but yes essentially as many behavioural economics studies have shown that female willingness to "put out" is a major reason guys avoid marriage. Also, to men and woman alike marriage is less of a sacred thing is because of both male/female promiscuous behaviours. Thus less marriage, and less will to fix and avoid a divorce.