[Trixareforkids]

You weren't really friends to begin with, you chatted, hit it off and slept together. Relationships that start like that aren't friendships AND the longer you're in contact with him the greater the chance his wife not only finds out, but finds out exactly who YOU are. Unfriend him in FB and lose his number.

[jen1447]

he emphasized how we could still be friends and how he wanted to still be friends.

I know I did the right thing but it just seriously sucks. I know plenty of you have assumed that since he's done this with me he's done it with others but I truly don't believe it. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong but no one knows this 100% except for him but all I have to go off is my gut feeling. if he were single I know what a great relationship we would have but reality states otherwise. he's truly an awesome guy with an awesome personality among other things. I still hurt after doing this but I know time will heal. wasn't expecting all of this to hit me as hard as it did emotionally. blah

(Hugs for Millner) You did what you had to do by ending it hon. Yeah it sucks, no way around that. It will suck for a while but it will get better. I think btw that his motive for staying 'friends' would probably just be to keep you available for booty calls.

[Sonny]

He's truly an awesome guy with an awesome personality among other things.

"The devil doesn't have two horns and a tail, he wears a nice blue suit and he's an affable chap." ---Mark Twain.

Now go back and read the Dipstick Test for Men three times....especially the section on Narcissistic Personality Disorders.

Because your old boy here waves that red flag like it's on fire.

So see past his looks and charm and consider yourself very lucky that you are only emotionally bruised and only for the time being.

And always remember: men are like buses, there's always another one coming along.

[Motorguy]

Hello everyone.
I have this big secret and it's hard to talk with people about it so I thought I would come here anonymously to get some input.

This past weekend, I unexpectedly slept with a married man. This all started when a spark happened between us and then led to us having the wonderful and fun night together. We were both away on a business trip when this happened. I figured it would just be a one night stand and was ok with that but, turns out he wants to keep seeing me and even encouraged me to take additional trips that were like an extension to the one we went on.

The next morning he made it a point to tell me good morning in front of a group of people (some of which I'm sure know what happened the night before). We were alone a little while later to which he kissed me twice which then I knew he meant what he said about wanting to see me again. He agreed there is a strong connection between the two of us and he too was surprised by this but said he couldn't stop wanting to be with me.

Over the next 3 days, we texted and messaged each other online laughing about our fun, having casual conversation and making plans for future trips. In fact, he told me he wished I could find a way to come see him this weekend as he is out of town again for a training. Unfortunately, I cannot. However, we have begun to make some plans in a month to see each other again. It would be nearly a week together just him and I.

My confusion begins with knowing that this isn't right however, my head also tells me if a man (or woman for that matter) was truly happy they would not be seeking out another person. He has made me so happy and honestly, I'm surprised that I am this connected with him as he would not be a man I would have sought out if I were in a bar or otherwise. He is completely opposite physically with what I am attracted to. I am in fact completely attracted to him because of who he is. He commands a presence in the room, is funny, and exuberates self confidence (although after talking to him more I think he lacks it....)

Today, I felt a sense of peace with my life. Peace that I haven't felt in a very long time. However, he posted something online today that just gave me a wake up call reminding me that this is a complicated situation. I have made a commitment to myself though that if a single, available guy was interested in me I would not push him away and the married guy knows this as I made it clear to him when we were discussing future get togethers.

I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe advice? Suggestions? Someone who has been in my situation before? Sympathy? Understanding? I just please don't ask for criticism as I tend to beat myself up A LOT when I know I have done something wrong so please believe me that I'm doing enough of that.....

Thanks for reading.

Well Millner, i am not going to beat you up over this. But give you some very good wisdom stop this affair " NOW" all it's going to do is cause a major problem for both of you sooner or later. You feel guilty writing this post now with having this affair with him so you know it's wrong as he does to. Because I know he was not going to ever leave his wife for you because he knows his wife will take him to the cleaners for sure in a divorce. There are many other men just like him in this world I know you could find a single guy to be lovers with and settle down and marry one day. I seen this with some dear close friends of mine and just let me tell you it does not end well women or men having affairs and if there is any kids they suffer the most in divorces. So you know what you need to do is end this affair if he leaves his wife and divorces her then he's fair game till then look at the huge sea of single men out there. Good luck and god bless you.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Friends.

Millner, you simply can't. He'll be asking how your day is, or your week, visa versa one will say something where the other will "wish" they had been able to be part of that, or there. You will think "ah one more, that can't hurt I need his arms around me" ...

Trust me.

[Millner]

hmm so no one has ever been friends with their exes?

[rcoreyus]

I remained good friends with an ex girlfriend.

[jen1447]

I have and continue to be. But if one or both of you secretly wants to bang the shot out of the other, it'll be more complicated than just that.

[Millner]

I have and continue to be. But if one or both of you secretly wants to bang the shot out of the other, it'll be more complicated than just that.

LOL so true....glad we don't see each other all that often for one.....

[DreamP346]

What do you have to gain from being friends vs what do you have to lose? Think of all the possibilities. Is it just "I like him and it would be nice to be friends" or is it "I truly enjoy spending time together and not having him in my life would be a great loss"? If it's the former, then move on. You are risking too much for a casual friendship. If it's the latter, then think about what this relationship adds to your life and whether it will prevent you from seeking a separately healthy relationship with another person. If you feel this friendship will provide significant value to your life and will not cause either one of you to harbor feelings related to the affair, then go ahead.