[effy2014]

I am sorry to say Calibri, but the more you write about your SO, the more I dislike his treatment of you.

Having used condoms since I became sexually active in high school, I do not get why both men and women would rather screw with a woman's hormones than just wear one. It's really not that big of a deal and can be made part of foreplay. Is it ideal? No. Better than the hormonal option? absolutely.

I know both sexes dislike condoms, not only by the comments on this forum but also because of personal experience. My SO would not even consider me wearing one . . . so, by my choice, we did not have intercourse for the first 6 months of our relationship. Her history was that she got pregnant easily and, her being catholic, I would not put her in the position of having to choose and abortion or have another child. She has depression issues, so screwing with her hormones was not a good relationship choice. Eventually, she needed a procedure to treat an ovarian issue and chose to have her tubes tied.

Your body, your choice. Reconsider the diaphragm -- you have control over it and you will get used to the "fiddling" with it.

[calibri~]

So with a diaphragm....what if your period starts after sex? You have to leave it in for 6 hours...isn't that risking toxic shock? What if you develop an allergy to spermicide or latex....you can't take it out can you!! Having got things stuck up there before and having long nails I'm not overly keen on this idea. SO reckoned the spermicidal condoms we used years ago made him sore. Sounds like way more trouble than plain old condoms. I'd be pleased to just have a 6 month break from hormones to see how I feel but it feels like I'm not allowed...

[effy2014]

^^ Your body, your rules.

[Farmer by trade]

Given the infrequent sex I would be tempted to stop the pills and buy some condoms and see how you body responds. If the migraine headaches disappear and you are feeling much better then I think it is totally unreasonable to force you to be on it. With a side effect of no sex it seems counterproductive. See how you feel after being off for a month and then be firm with your decision. If he can't be reasonable then you have to make the decision. He may not like it but you have to stand up for yourself.

I do think it is a little early for the big V but agree that it is the best permanent solution (hard decision prior to easiest decision of my life looking back).

[calibri~]

I managed to find two months worth of my old pills stashed away - took them and had not a single migraine, and feeling fine back onto the new one and bleh.. headaches galore, acne ahoy and the rest .

Ive wanted my tubes tied since I was 16 - i have no interest in having children and will do anything to avoid it.

[calibri~]

Hello all.
I have finally had a semi calm talk with SO about contraception and we've decided that it's OK for me to come off the pill for a couple of months, check that symptoms resolve, then retry either micronor or cerazette. Tomorrow will be my first (intentionally) pill free day in about 8 years. I'm not quite sure what to expect to be honest!

In other news, I'm going abroad for a work thing, invited SO without thinking it through, then pretty much gave every reason why he shouldn't come with me! Ugh, I wish my brain worked sometimes...my reasons included that he might upset me before an important work thing....oh dear...bad wording....and two days of stopping. But. This weekend has actually been ok. He's been far less aggressive, and all round nicer to me. I guess we are both making some effort and he's probably trying to show me that the version of him that upsets me is only in my head.

[Farmer by trade]

Hi Calibri~

Well that is progress. There is still hope that he isn't a complete *****. I'm glad he is making attempts to work on the relationship. Without both of you working on it together it is impossible. Have you been able to increase the frequency of Sex over the last week? What protection are you using?

[calibri~]

Hi Calibri~

Have you been able to increase the frequency of Sex over the last week? What protection are you using?

Well an increase of none to none, if that's what you mean. I've had three weeks of bleeding and a week of migraines, so I really wasn't up for any action. Over the next couple of months obviously if we both feel healthy and secure enough, we'll use condoms and if any unforseen rare accidents happen, the morning after pill also.

[effy2014]

A calm discussion on an important relationship topic -- fantastic. A good first step.

[atskitty2]

If you can't tolerate the daily pill, chances are you won't tolerate the "morning after pill". I know you surely realize that, but all the more reason to avoid those "accidents".