[jns]

I think many people have had crushes on people close to them that have been somewhat overwhelming at times. The fact that this lady allowed physical contact without a lot of complaint has made your attraction stronger. I think you are going in the right direction. Have you given more thought about going on vacation to allow your emotions to cool by becoming distracted with something else?

[Gretchen1965]

I think many people have had crushes on people close to them that have been somewhat overwhelming at times. The fact that this lady allowed physical contact without a lot of complaint has made your attraction stronger. I think you are going in the right direction. Have you given more thought about going on vacation to allow your emotions to cool by becoming distracted with something else?

This touchable woman my colleague said that she don't mind me touching her and groping her through clothes because she feel's nothing special while being rubbed and touched by other women, that it feels as mundane as a handshake during those times for her. There is nothing she does in protest but a part of me felt like maybe she is feeling uncomfortable by my hands rubbing her and groping her all over her body. Do you think i'm over-analyzing my situation? I want sexual relation with her. I just want to make love with her. I see this woman as merely sex object. With this always dressed in silk and satin woman is about lust, not love. I was instantly extremely attracted to this woman.
.

She is standing stiff as a board while i am feeling up and squeezing her massive soft boobs or rubbing her big butt . We became best friends and while she is totally straight , she is also extremely eager to hug me. I am not JUST hugging her ; i am freaking HOLDING HER, caressing her hair as i happily snuggle my face on her massive soft breasts (my head is exactly the level of her breasts) so It feels absolutely wonderful to have her arms wrapped around me, and I simply wrap my arms around her waist in return. So it feels good . That is how we hug standing up. I am always hugging her around her waist.Sometimes several hugs in a row.Often on the parking lot I wrap my hands around her waist, tight from behind and hug her in a way that she can't move. I also always place my hand on her butt when i stand beside her.I just touch her big butt and leave my hand there. Also i slap her butt as a way of saying hi.
I know that I shouldn't do it but it is difficult to resist the urge to touch her. I am very attracted to her but only in a sexual way. We talk quite a lot. Two months ago she referred to me as her best friend? We text each other all the time. She is like a child, needing constant approval about anything she does. But she is sooo arrogant. She never misses a chance to point out the fact that I'm much shorter than her.
She ALWAYS goes on about how great she is and lists all these things she loves about herself... or she "critisises" herself in an attention seeky way saying things that are CLEARLY good positive things as negative e.g. "OMG I have such big boobs! I can't believe my boobs are sooo big and I hate it big boobs are horrible" She is constantly gazing in the mirror and listing all these things she adores about her appearance. It's just so shallow and superficial! When I call her she often talks about herself.
She is rich. After getting to know her I just realized how lucky she is, she gets to holiday in fancy islands and other places twice a year. She goes to fancy dinners with her husband at least two to three times a week, she's literally not had to worry about anything in her own life..

Every conversation is about her. Me...me...me and only me...Let me tell you about me and what I did and what I want and think and feel...Listen to me...Be my audience...Don't have any wants and needs of your own...Just be here for me....Let me tell you about me exclusively and I will be your best friend....Don't ask me to take turns or have to listen to you very often....It's sure draining to be around this needy and self centered touchable woman. I want to stop this. But i just can't. She is so radiant and tall and big and soft. I am too sexually attracted to her. To be honest the reasons I'm drawn to her are her looks and her clothes. She dresses in mainly form fitting satin and silk fashionable clothing. She is always on high heels and full make up on. Often when my hands are rubbing her through her satin and silk clothes i get groinal responses. She is objectively very attractive, much hotter than any woman I've ever slept with.
This touchable woman always talks about the stuff that matter to her. It don't even phase her that she is having a one-sided conversation as long as i am her audience. Also she is upper middle class,stuck up snob. She is completely stuck up, spoiled and arrogant. She acts like she is better than a lot of people and it really ****es me off sometimes. She uses the term "cocktails" instead of "drinks" when we are going (usually after work) to have a drink. She also got bent out of shape when we were at Starbucks the other day and there were a few coffee grinds floating around in her coffee. I said, big deal, they will eventually sink to the bottom, but she insisted on getting a new cup of coffee poured for her. It happened again, and she said, forget it, I'll just drink water. .
This touchable woman my colleague has some form of dependency complex. She is unquestionably straight with absolutely no homosexual tendencies. She perhaps is a bit homoerotic.

[Gretchen1965]

I think many people have had crushes on people close to them that have been somewhat overwhelming at times. The fact that this lady allowed physical contact without a lot of complaint has made your attraction stronger. I think you are going in the right direction. Have you given more thought about going on vacation to allow your emotions to cool by becoming distracted with something else?

I prefer more masculine clothing. I'm a little too butch but i I consider my self chapstick, I NEVER wear makeup. I am so ****ing short, 5’3, with a slim & weak body. I literally look like a ****ing 13 year old ugly boy. Added to this, i feel even worse when i see myself in pics next to other average and good looking people. I have some self esteem issues, but why lie to my self? If I'm ugly, why say I'm good looking? I am a realist. Most women don't care about your personality if you're ugly,,short and skinny dyke.
I'm about 5'3", and when I'm out and about and look around myself on a typical day, most people seem well and truly taller than me (including women). . I’m flat chested, I’m not the most gifted in that area.
I wear men,,masc, unisex clothes and shoes and the only thing I get in the women’s sections of stores are bras.

I’ve noticed in some convos I had with friends that they don’t really consider me butch. They call me a soft butch or andro or just some neutral zone where I’m neither masculine or femme. but it also makes me feel insecure about my identity as a moc person.

I have a higher voice. I don’t carry myself as “masculine” and it seems that I look more masculine than I actually am. I went on a date with one femme lesbian woman a while back and she ended up not being into me because she thought I was going to be “more butch” and was disappointed. It really sucked.

My other problem is that all the women i gotten far with were not my physical type. My whole life i can’t attract the women i find attractive. I have never been with a man sexually and don't want to be at all. Nothing against men but they just don't do it for me. I don't want to appear more feminine.The reality is I love women. I love the way they dress, their attention to detail when they put on makeup or do their nails. I love dark red lipstick, blood red nails, silky smooth stockings,satin and silk clothes, short skirts and high heels. I don't find men physically attractive and never have, not even the 'hot' ones. I feel immensely attracted even standing next to tall,curvy, feminine women. It's been a pattern since I was a teenager. I have never understood the attraction of women who don't look like women. I like women womanly, please.I'm attracted to feminine women in every way. I LOVE GIRLY GIRLS! I don't mind stems, but I prefer girly girls. I am a soft butch and don't find myself checking out other butch women. I'm not into butches. I love girly girls, femme, lipstick lesbian. I feel immensely attracted even standing next to tall,curvy, feminine women. I love large massive boobs. Ah!

[Gretchen1965]

I think many people have had crushes on people close to them that have been somewhat overwhelming at times. The fact that this lady allowed physical contact without a lot of complaint has made your attraction stronger. I think you are going in the right direction. Have you given more thought about going on vacation to allow your emotions to cool by becoming distracted with something else?

I know it's not normal but I feel like without all these awful things I do, I'm just a scared pathetic person. I inflict my desires on this touchable woman my colleague without regard for the harm it may do her. I know that I shouldn't do it but it is difficult to resist the urge to touch her. I am very attracted to her but only in a sexual way. I just can't help myself because this is the way that I am, this is how my body react to her and her shiny satin and silk clothes.She is extremely fashionable, elegant, glamorous, and classy. Please don’t be grossed out. I feel so guilty but i just can't stop touching this woman. I love her height and her curvy stature. I want to stop this. But i just can't. She is so radiant and tall and big and soft. And I feel so guilty. I am aroused by rubbing her. I have grown accustomed to it. Standing next to me she looks like a giant. I know this sounds strange and maybe even a bit sick to you. Also she is always dressed in satin an silk clothes which doesn't help the situation. It's all about me. Why am I like this? Why?



My other problem is that all the women i gotten far with were not my physical type. My whole life i can’t attract the women i find attractive. I'm really ugly. Yeah, I know it's probably a selfish thought, but one thing I've always wanted to have, is a beautiful girlfriend, and hasn't anything wrong with that. Every now and then, men will harass me, I guess, because they think I’m a short skinny ugly effeminate man. It’s not too scary because as long as I ignore it and don’t make eye contact, nothing bad happens. But why do they have to make comments at all? Just let me walk down the street in peace. I'm one of those ugly ducklings that never turned into a beautiful swan. I never like the way I looked so Im self-conscious about myself. I've always hated the way I looked ever since I was a child and could see the way other more attractive kids were treated better than me all throughout elementary school, middle school, high school and college. Yes I've been treated badly, insulted by strangers, made fun of, bullied, and excluded. Of course I try not to let all that bring me down, because although I try not to care what other people think of me.. I do care about what I think of me. And whenever I look in the mirror at myself, I look absolutely hideous in my eyes, I feel so much self-loathing and disgust that I can't really explain into words. I may have some days where I feel beautiful, and confident but as soon as I happen to glance into a mirror when I'm walking anywhere or go to the bathroom, I realize exactly how ugly I am. Especially when I am around women --tall curvy beautiful ultrafeminine women, I feel more and more uglier.

[atskitty2]

I suppose if you're 2 consenting adults, and you both enjoy what's going on, then what's the harm, right?

[Stillness]

Why am I like this? Why?

You said you love women. It sounds like there's a very important woman in your life you don't care much for, though. Are you fascinated with the things in the women you "love" that you don't see in yourself?

To love others properly you have to love the woman in the mirror.

[Gretchen1965]

You said you love women. It sounds like there's a very important woman in your life you don't care much for, though. Are you fascinated with the things in the women you "love" that you don't see in yourself?

To love others properly you have to love the woman in the mirror.

You are totally right. I am fascinated with this woman my colleague. She is so radiant and tall and big and soft. Please don’t be grossed out. I know this sounds strange and maybe even a bit sick to you.I get off on feeling her up , not caring how it makes her look.I love standing next to this touchable woman my colleague and contrasting myself against her, i come out so undesirable next to her. I admit to you that the thrill I get from groping,touching and rubbing this arrogant spoiled stuck up woman my colleague at work is so powerful. It makes me feel invincible -- it makes me feel like I might never have to feel ashamed or insecure again. She is always on high heels i am always in flat shoes.Standing next to me she looks like a giant.I am tiny short skinny 54year old masculine ugly woman. She is very attractive , tall, she dresses elegantly, she has sensual curves, large big massive soft breasts, a round ***, basically she is everything i am not. But when i become a predator, when i grope her at work (usually when no one is around), when i grope her and she doesn't fight me back, it makes me feel powerful.