[Steph33]

Steph33 it sounds like you have a good relationship (in this respect).

My lover is also my best friend and we have all the other parts of a relationship in spades as well. If all you have is good sex it lasts about 2 weeks and then you can't stand each other (if you last 2 weeks).

I was always told money and sex are the 2 big argument/problem areas in relationships. We're loving ****s for each other so that is taking care of the sex part.

Neither of us is material and we spend most extra money on others, such as birthdays and all year shopping for Christmas (big day for both). Give him a gift certificate to the mall for his birthday (like his mother does) and he buys me obscene underwear with it. Can't even get him to buy socks when needed for himself, I have to. We work to have time together, not be strapped into debt where we have to work more or all the time. Our pastimes and hobbies are no or low cost. He's total he** to buy for (has all the actual "stuff" he needs or wants) and most of what he spends is on me for things I didn't even ask for. Just sees something and gets it spur of the moment. He does blow some amount monthly on flowers for me that even though I love them and they're always unexpected, florists can be pricy. Time together and our pets are our basic priorities. If we have a problem, we figure a solution, and implement it, then move on. Pretty basic and uncomplicated life.

[rhonda1967]

Have you ever tried asking her to stimulate you in other ways? Like to help you "get off" or something? If I'm not in the mood, but my husband really is, I'll help him out if you know what I mean

I think this would be far more tiring than having sex. TWills I don't know how you can love a woman like this. And I am pretty sure she don't give a sh** about you and how you feel. Why don't women get it that a satisfied man can concentrate on his job better if he is not always trying to figure out why she won't have sex with him. The same for men not giving it to their women. It is probably the most selfish thing one can do to another. I'd be asking myself what do I love about this self centered inconsiderate person? I have heard women say " all he ever thinks about is sex". Of course it is. He never gets it. We all have our needs. Sex is a huge part of a relationship. Everytime I read these I just wonder why people are so selfish that they can't even experience real love. Sex is so much fun. A nice wet orgasm is the greatest feeling I have ever had. When I get my man off, I feel great about myself. Move on people. Find someone who really cares about you.

[ashamed_anon]

21, 23 respectively, and only been going out 9 months. Here's the kicker;2, maybe 3 a week. It wasn't like that. it was at least 8 times a week until about a month ago. I miss being woken up in the middle of the night, or before she went to work to cram in some playtime. Now, I have to masturbate four or five times a week to stop arguments, keep a smile on my face and stop myself from going crazy(masturbation makes you feel more hollow). Now, if I try to talk about it, I'm ignored, until I stop being annoyed and then am tossed a pity f---. It makes me feel unwanted, however much she tells me otherwise, and it makes me feel ugly, boring and, more importantly, as baggage.

[WildChild]

21, 23 respectively, and only been going out 9 months. Here's the kicker;2, maybe 3 a week. It wasn't like that. it was at least 8 times a week until about a month ago. I miss being woken up in the middle of the night, or before she went to work to cram in some playtime. Now, I have to masturbate four or five times a week to stop arguments, keep a smile on my face and stop myself from going crazy(masturbation makes you feel more hollow). Now, if I try to talk about it, I'm ignored, until I stop being annoyed and then am tossed a pity f---. It makes me feel unwanted, however much she tells me otherwise, and it makes me feel ugly, boring and, more importantly, as baggage.

If it's only been 9 months it sounds like this may not be working out very well. Perhaps it's time to talk and maybe move on?

[ashamed_anon]

p.s. help?

[ashamed_anon]

If it's only been 9 months it sounds like this may not be working out very well. Perhaps it's time to talk and maybe move on?

i really didn't want anyone to say that.

[PJhavinfunagain]

when it is the 2-3 times a week is she a willing participant? or is is just to keep you happy? How is the relationship otherwise? There could be lots going on. You need to talk to her about your relationship not whine about not getting enough sex. (I don't mean you are whining here bit it may come off to her that way)

[tidal611]

in my experience...

when a man is consistently turning you down for sex that means he is getting it elsewhere. Sorry to say that but that's what I have seen in my life. I have NEVER encountered a guy who never wants sex. I mean NEVER?? Unless he has erectile dysfunction or is secretly gay on the down low he is getting it elsewhere. You should put a keylogger on his computer. That will tell you the truth.

[WildChild]

when a man is consistently turning you down for sex that means he is getting it elsewhere. Sorry to say that but that's what I have seen in my life. I have NEVER encountered a guy who never wants sex. I mean NEVER?? Unless he has erectile dysfunction or is secretly gay on the down low he is getting it elsewhere. You should put a keylogger on his computer. That will tell you the truth.

Perhaps you should read a little more closely, ashamed_anon is talking about a woman, not a man. Putting a keylogger on someone's computer is rather extreme. If you can't trust them, you should simply get out.

[ashamed_anon]

ok, I'll be more specific. Sorry Wildchild, I do appreciate your feedback, but, you know, I'm dealing with stuff.

wildchild; I have talked to her about it. She assures me that she doesn't want to be with anyone else. I can't bring myself to think about that possibility.

PJ; most of the time, I would say yes, she is a definitely a willing participant. Sometimes its even her who initiates it.

Maybe I'm being childish, but I resent having the sex life of a 60 year old married couple.