[Debra]

Just a thought.... has he had a problem becoming aroused? Sometimes when men have high blood pressure, they have a problem like erectile dysfunction and instead of telling you about it, they will lie and say that they are just too tired because they are embarassed by it.

Side note: Hubby and I are still young, going on 10 yrs of marriage this summer...still manage to have sex 5 times a week on average after having 3 kids....I think we both have a high sex drive. He's never had a problem, but I've heard from one of my friends who's hubby had that problem...just thought I'd shed some light on that thought.

[Hopeless Dork]

5x a week after 10 years, Debra? That is so inspiring. I guess its what happens when 2 people are in sync and perfectly matched to each other.

I'm young, my boyfriends young, our relationship is young, we are both sexually healthy and even we don't hit 5x a week - something to strive for I suppose Nah, I think I would like it but I don't think he'd have the energy or desire to . One can dream

[308dulce17]

i have been married for 4 an a half years. i say we do it 5-6 [week, it varies sometimes Ill get him, or sometimes he does, even if he is tired do it, if he is too sleepy or tired, wake me up early in the morning or during mid night. or sometimes even in the day if we have the chance to. try to talk to him , let him know how you feel, I did this, because I felt, it was only when he needed to have it, he told me he was depressed and stressed out, but now it has been normal after the talk we had,

[TWills32]

I dont blame u. i would have left. i am a man, 26. my girlfriend never wants sex. we do it once a week, fri or sat night, late at night (her timing, not mine), but its like a chore to her, and sometimes I have to wait two weeks if I do something to " her off" (another excuse)..."im tired, hurry up, cover me up after!". She never even initiates. when asked she says she is tired, that she just wants to relax. we go to bed and i get every excuse out of the book. If it were up to me we would do it 3 times a day 4ever, but im a big horndog. I once asked for everyother day and she laughed very sarcastically. I thought everyother day was pretty normal...what do you all think? Please help me sort this out, im about to leave her over this I just cant take it anymore...but i do still love her alot...im not selfish am I? sex is a small part of a relationship if your getting it, ... but its almost 100% of the relationship if your not getting any or if your hardly get any at all.

My story is a little different but it has similarities l think. Anyways I know what uwent threw I think and I can simpathize with you.

also the can guys have sex more than once a night question...im a male, medium build, 26, very sexually active...I can have sex several times a night. the skys the limit. I wish my gil somehow one day woke up a nempho, but only for me...dream dream dream...

Have you ever tried asking her to stimulate you in other ways? Like to help you "get off" or something? If I'm not in the mood, but my husband really is, I'll help him out if you know what I mean

[rcoreyus]

My situation is not so different from SomeRandomGuy's. My wife would absolutely not take it well if I asked her to "help me get off". We have sex (occasionally) when she feels like it, but mostly she doesn't think its important, and doesn't see why I care.

[Steph33]

I'd be trading in the partners some of you have. I need someone compatable. A lot of boring and not happy sex lives, I feel sorry for you.

If we don't have sex, exchange oral, or otherwise play till one of us gets off for 24 hours we'd be asking each other if the other is ill and need to see a doctor.

Once a week, not hardly.

Seems like some didn't discuss sex before a relationship, or failed to fix small problems before they got bigger.

[kate_spencer]

Wow, I'm amazed on some of your sex lives here..
well, I'm not married yet, but my bf of 7 mos. and I don't have that much.. but it's explainable cause were both working and not living together. But when I read your replies here.. hmm.. I'm thinking if we'll move together now lol

[Steph33]

For us it has never been a lever, a weapon, etc. It's simple: one wants, both gets. No stress for EITHER person from unfilled want or similar stuff. I know how to crank him up and he does me as well. We don't deal with a lot of the problems posted here because they shouldn't be problems. Also he talked and discussed sex a lot before we ever did it. Before I seduced him the first time, I knew we were compatable in frequency, diversity, and other aspects of the physical exchange. We also both knew from past partners what we did NOT want. If you're compatable no women needs to compete with porn or other women. But compatable is key. If one likes oral a lot, the other should be on call and even better if they love giving it to you. If not, you have a problem that will get to be a bigger problem. Seems few talk, they just stumble, put up with, assume, feel frustrated, look elsewhere, or other things that never work in the long run.

[rcoreyus]

Steph33 it sounds like you have a good relationship (in this respect). A lot of people wind up marrying (or being permanently attached to) their first love, and don't know that this might come up. They just assume that most people have a simliar desire for frequency of sex, and by the time they find out, the relationship is too strong in other ways to give it up.

[rhonda1967]

How often do you have sex

To random guy and No1, I really wonder why you hang around these people. If there is no attraction in them for you sexually, I think you are wasting your time. If they don't want you now, there is a good chance they won't when you are married. I would be insulted if my man treated me that way. When we were newly weds it was like we did not even want to stop. He just takes my breath away all the time. Our attraction to eachother really seems to be different than many of you on here. I love this man with all of my being. What got me into painting was the picture I held in my mind of him. One day I was missing him really bad and I just started scribbling and ended up drawing a portrait of him. He was blown away when he seen it. It was a perfect match from memory. He suggested that I start painting the pictures I drew. I don't get the detail near as well as I did him because he is burned into my mind,heart and soul. I am so totally in love with him, I want to make him happy. That makes me happy. We are absolutely one with each other. I wish that for every couple. Some one is out there for everyone that will be a soul mate. To many people settle for less than they deserve because they are lonely or think they should be with someone. They settle for some that thinks she has to be in total control of a guy. The way they treat you that is all you are to her. Just a guy or gal. Don't settle for alittle when they feel like it. Find someone who loves sharing themselves with you. That is happiness and fulfillment. Stop selling yourself short and taking what you can get. There are to many hungry women and men that have everything you are yerning for. I don't buy any of that about medical . Either you love someone or you don't.