[PJhavinfunagain]

to be fair, PJ, I have lost my confidence a lot, so not a complete misfire, and that probably makes me come across as needy. sorry, i didn't read your post carefully enough.

no worries, I was just going by what I had read. It can be difficult getting accurate advice online because we do not know all the info and what we do know is your side of things. I would say for now to first look at what is good in your relationship. Is it good enough to stick around at least for a bit to see if this will work itself out. I agree you 2 need to talk but if she is feeling pressured right now you may just need to back off a little bit and just enjoy the good.

[ReeNa8589]

The husband and I have been together for 5 years...first couple years together it was at least 2x a day and up till last week seems like 3 times a week. Im thinking its because we always had to use a condom and always scared of pregnancy by dripping or breaking condom. Really put us on edge but now that I have the IUD, we have sex everyday so it might escalate again to 5-6 times a week . He says I have no idea what hes going to do to me now or what I am in for. haha

But yes, no matter how tired he is...he still wants it. If he is tired, he wants me on top so he can be lazy but still get the pleasure, but never passes it up.

Hope you 2 can talk and work something out

[jvincze]

Wife and I have been married 28 years, have four boys and we have sex [ make love] three times a week, if we are on holidays it may be four. Three is the norm for us and loving it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

pfttt your going to make people jealous jvincze, so what works for you:? Share...

CW

[jvincze]

Well, Saturday and Sunday mornings is beautiful to laze in and make love, this is a normal thing to do for us. Then we'll have a cup of tea or coffee in bed and read our novels, magazines, or just get up and do what-ever. Mid-week we like to catch up with each other and have sex. My wife likes to have sex nearly as much as I do, not necessarily always having an orgasm, that has to be done by me masterbating her,or by oral at least once a week. Having an orgasm by regular sex has never happened and probably never will. I try very hard at be a loving husband and I am very attentive to her needs, and we reciprocate to each other.................and love each other alot.

[PJhavinfunagain]

Was this the case even when your kids were small? Laze in bed and read on Saturday morning? What is that? I can't even remember! LOL...

[CK001]

How about a voice from the other side???

I guess my response would depend on your definition of sex. Does oral sex count? If yes, then twice a week. If not, well, almost never. Although it wasn't always this way.

My husband and I have been married 12 years and have two kids - 6 yrs and 4 yrs old. Since the kids were born, we have slowly drifted apart. In my mind, between working full time at a demanding job, taking care of the kids and house, I'm pretty tired both emotionally and physically for much else. I always figured it was the price to pay for my life choice.

And he's never been a great communicator - we never fight over anything (he's a great dad, we have the same principles, we both make good money so no finacial problems...) so who am I to complain over a small problem like lack of communication.

Now, I'm thinking that lack of communication and slow drifting away added to my total lack of desire. That, and his weight gain over the years (which affects me more than I ever want to say out loud as I know it is petty)

Also, add to the mix, in the past 6 years - pregnant, breastfeeding, pregnant again, breastfeeding again, then a short period of feeling pretty good (our 10 yr anniversary trip to the greek islands was pretty amazing) I had hip surgery for a torn labrum, then a severe sinus infection that lasted 3 months and I was on tons of drugs to try to clear up, then a second torn labrum and another hip surgery. This time they did osteoplasty (shaved off part of my hip and femur bones to stop the tearing) and the pain while I am recovering is constant.

I have had a few good months in there, but I will admit to just feeling too tired...

Back to how often we have sex...Just because I know I have low desire, doesn't mean I don't love my husband so I try to "take care" of him at least 1-2 times a week. With the whole hip problems, I offered more oral sex because "real" intercourse was just too painful. And we just got into the habit (and again, he's kind of big for me to get my legs around)

Much of the time, I really do enjoy making him happy, but I will admit to sometimes looking at the clock and checking off a list of things to do...laundry, buy milk, return library books...while in the act.

And sometimes I'm a little resentful of his "easy" life. He works at home, doesn't need to worry about traffic or his boss wondering where he is. He makes friends easy and goes out once a week.

I get up at 5 AM to work out (OK, with my medical problems, not so much, but it's was important enough for me to do the only time I had available)

OK, we have some communication problems and I need to stop the whole grocery list thing, but this past weekend - out of the BLUE - my husband said he thinks he wants a divorce. He hates that I don't want it any more and that he feels awful asking for it (although I rarely say No - only when the pain is too much)

At first, I cried, now I'm angry - like 12 years of marriage means nothing. Friends of mine thinks he's just a bad communicator and that he said the "D" word just to get my attention. But now I'm not sure how we get back from this...

Now I really don't want to have sex with him...

[Guest]

Me and my husband have been together for 11 years and we have sex 3-4 times a week. We used to have more the first 5 years and it is normal as the sex factor seems to decrease with years with most couples.

[Texasred]

With my wife?
She's perfectly happy with once every other month, if then; I, OTOH, am not.
And even when she does "consent," most times I get the feeling it is, as another poster put it, a "pity (euphemism for sex act)" and this just annoys me, makes me feel like I'm with a prostitute and I should leave money on the nightstand.
She tells me that she doesn't really have any "desire" but that "once we get started it's OK."
Wow, what enthusiasm, eh?

So when I did make her undestand that I don't consider our sex lives normal, nor acceptable, well, that's when the "pity f---s" started, and while somewhat more frequent, they're far less acceptable.
Maybe that's her point? Now that I mention it - could it be she's trying to prove a point to me? But what point is that?
That it could be worse?
oKAAAY! Point taken!

[rcoreyus]

Texas - that's miserable (and familiar sounding)