[GentlemanGhost]

LOL Gentlemen, you're playing with fire on a women's forum! It sounds to me like you've gone through some tough times recently with the opposite sex. Why don't you post what happened so we can help you sort through all this anguish?

And as for your comment about average/hot/rich/not. I went to a private university and made many male friends that were very attractive, very not-attractive, going for communication majors, going to med school.... I didn't bat an eye at even one of them because I had a average (although very handsome in my book) boyfriend at home who works on tractor trailors and volunteers at a fire department. I make 2x's more money than he does, but I love him all the same.

You're reasoning is based in emotion....

Lol, kinda realized I was playing with fire. I guess I am semi frustrated with women and societies expectations in general.



I spent up until the age of 15 being pretty much retarded. I was ugly, skrawny, and stupid. I was a nice guy though! Guess what? No teenagers wanted anything to do with me. My parents realized this.


So, what did they do? They pulled me out and homeschooled me, got me braces, and my dad wieght trained me.



6 years later I went from not being able to read to working with basic Calculus problems(homeschooling really does wonders), my teeth are perfect(making my face decent), and I have a decent bodyshape. I graduated REALLY late at the age of 21 while getting my first job at 20(pathetic I know).


I decided to go to college for Radiography at an accredited University.




Guess what? After all my blistering hard work of becoming regular, I still can't get the decent looking girls to even consider me because I am not in school for some 100k a year job. My social skills are up to date, and I have a group of 19-25 year olds I hang out with.

[sourpuss]

We both know that if a women had the option to date between the following:


-A good looking guy who had a mediocre job.


-A average looking guy with a really good job.


She would go for the average looking guy with a good job. Don't deny that women don't care about money.

I've been in that situation actually, only more extreme. This summer I was spending time with a guy who had a great job and was ridiculously good looking. We had tons in common and always had a good time together.
The other guy I was spending a lot of time with was short, older, in debt, losing his hair....a smoker...has a kid...the list goes on.
Turns out I enjoyed my time much more with the older guy and the other one is now merely a friend.

Attraction is more about personality, and how you feel when you are with that person.

Frankly, you just sound bitter and it seems you don't have much respect for women in general.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Women only care about the things in life that are super hard to obtain. This is assuming your face is decent.


-Muscles

-Wealth(Which usually includes intelligence)


Don't buy and of that personality . As long as your not a jerk(which isn't a hard mindset to achieve), and you have the two things I listed, you can have any women you want.

You can GentlemanGhost - "if your Paris Hilton" or her besties, trying to get somewhere in life

Personally, I also was the Ugly Duckling at school, pink jumbers were not worn, but I wore one, what I called rubber ducky shoes, it created "fights" at my school, I won, against (2) girls at once.. No one bothered me after that.. And, I was 17, before, I realised I had "long blonde hair", yessum changed it 2 and a half years ago, long legs, and a good figure. I worked in Hospitality, so I met all those claimed men. I didn't go out with one of them, not one ( I had very good confidence), very secure mentally...

Then you can look at some of the Actresses, and Actors and whom they married

It boils down to "morals and personality"..

I was heck bent on making it on my own. And, my ex- was a construction worker, and inch shorter than me...

My Morals said, I won't be a handbag and my personality said pfttttt...

So, guess I just proved that one wrong.

Do you know? That whilst I was managing restaurants back then, at 19 on-wards, that guys would feel intimidated by me? Due to what I did for a living? I had to always make the moves? There you go....lol.

CW

[WildChild]

Lol, kinda realized I was playing with fire. I guess I am semi frustrated with women and societies expectations in general.

I spent up until the age of 15 being pretty much retarded. I was ugly, skrawny, and stupid. I was a nice guy though! Guess what? No teenagers wanted anything to do with me. My parents realized this.

So, what did they do? They pulled me out and homeschooled me, got me braces, and my dad wieght trained me.

6 years later I went from not being able to read to working with basic Calculus problems(homeschooling really does wonders), my teeth are perfect(making my face decent), and I have a decent bodyshape. I graduated REALLY late at the age of 21 while getting my first job at 20(pathetic I know).

I decided to go to college for Radiography at an accredited University.

Guess what? After all my blistering hard work of becoming regular, I still can't get the decent looking girls to even consider me because I am not in school for some 100k a year job. My social skills are up to date, and I have a group of 19-25 year olds I hang out with.

In someways your parents did you good but in others they reinforced the idea that you didn't measure up. As far as women are concerned )and many don't consciously recognize it) an insecure man is a dangerous man, far more likely to harm them one way or another. A superficial person, male or female, will be more concerned about looks, dress, your car and income. A person who is looking for something more will look beyond that and see who you are rather than what you have.

But your attitude has a great deal to do with what people perceive. If you believe women are superficial and looking for all that fluff, guess what? Even if you meet the perfect woman for you all you will see is your own your own expectations and then you'll miss out! And it won't be because of what she is but because of what you thought she was.

Relax, ease up on yourself and everyone else. You are working hard, taking care of yourself, working toward a good and useful career. You should do those things because they are what is good for you and move your life in the direction you want to go, not because you think they will attract a mate. Finding love, sex or companionship isn't a matter of going through a checklist - although you can find books and couches who make it sound like it is. When you are happy with yourself, where you are headed in life and with what you are doing, I will almost guarantee that others will find you more attractive to be around.

Read through some of the threads here and see what insecurities some women experience, you just may be surprised at how good you have it.

[Texinator]

Don't deny that women don't care about money.

Some women care about money. Many don't. At least not to the point where that's something on which they'll base their relationship decisions.

You can't lump all women into the same group. They're human beings too and each woman has her own likes and dislikes. Very many of those likes and dislikes revolve around personality, not your income or your looks.

What matters is how you present yourself. Don't go out and treat women like they're some strange and mysterious otherwordly beings. They're just humans. Don't approach them with an 'us vs. them' mentality and think you need to fight to convince every woman you're worth it. Nobody owes you a relationship. And don't act desperate. That's a turnoff for most women and the reason why many don't go for the stereotypical 'nice guy' that bends over backwards for them 24/7.

The best you can do is to have confidence in yourself and to project that confidence. Go out and meet people. Treat women with the respect you wish to receive, not like they're the weaker and inferior sex or they're from another planet. Get to know them as people. And maybe eventually you'll find someone with whom you're compatible.

Even then it's not necessarily easy. There are plenty of fantastic men and women that are single. You just have to have patience and realize it's about finding the right person and not just having any relationship for the sake of a relationship.

[ItsASecret]

Education is a big thing to me, and I won't lie, if he does not have that piece of paper on the wall saying that he has completed some form of post-secondary education or at the very least plan on going I will show no interest. I do not care if he goes to school for business, IT tech, medicine, marketing, law, plumbing...do not care as long as he has shown that he cares about getting an education. With that as long as he can help pay for half the bills, mortgage, and other things the actual salary does not matter. I do not care if he looked like Brad Pitt (okay maybe I would lol) but honestly, the education thing is a make or break thing. I need to know that if times get rough for either of us there is financially a way to keep things going.

[Stina]

Education is a big thing to me, and I won't lie, if he does not have that piece of paper on the wall saying that he has completed some form of post-secondary education or at the very least plan on going I will show no interest. I do not care if he goes to school for business, IT tech, medicine, marketing, law, plumbing...do not care as long as he has shown that he cares about getting an education.

I agree 100% about education. Some people who have never experienced any post-secondary ed will blow it off as "just a piece of paper." There's a wealth of valuable experience, both academic and personal that will come from your 1, 2, or 8 years it took to earn that degree. If a guy doesn't demonstrate a desire in this facet to grow and learn, I know for a fact we won't be on the same level.

[GentlemanGhost]

Education is a big thing to me, and I won't lie, if he does not have that piece of paper on the wall saying that he has completed some form of post-secondary education or at the very least plan on going I will show no interest. I do not care if he goes to school for business, IT tech, medicine, marketing, law, plumbing...do not care as long as he has shown that he cares about getting an education. With that as long as he can help pay for half the bills, mortgage, and other things the actual salary does not matter. I do not care if he looked like Brad Pitt (okay maybe I would lol) but honestly, the education thing is a make or break thing. I need to know that if times get rough for either of us there is financially a way to keep things going.

I think that's a fair expectation. However, I think it's unreasonable for a female to expect the whole world handed to them and not have to work.

Sorry, just my two cents


An equal partnership though? Ya, that's fair

[GentlemanGhost]

You can GentlemanGhost - "if your Paris Hilton" or her besties, trying to get somewhere in life

Personally, I also was the Ugly Duckling at school, pink jumbers were not worn, but I wore one, what I called rubber ducky shoes, it created "fights" at my school, I won, against (2) girls at once.. No one bothered me after that.. And, I was 17, before, I realised I had "long blonde hair", yessum changed it 2 and a half years ago, long legs, and a good figure. I worked in Hospitality, so I met all those claimed men. I didn't go out with one of them, not one ( I had very good confidence), very secure mentally...

Then you can look at some of the Actresses, and Actors and whom they married

It boils down to "morals and personality"..

I was heck bent on making it on my own. And, my ex- was a construction worker, and inch shorter than me...

My Morals said, I won't be a handbag and my personality said pfttttt...

So, guess I just proved that one wrong.

Do you know? That whilst I was managing restaurants back then, at 19 on-wards, that guys would feel intimidated by me? Due to what I did for a living? I had to always make the moves? There you go....lol.

CW

.........and I thought all pretty women were jerks. I guess you proved me wrong.

I would so marry if you if I was like 35. Your husband is one lucky guy. He gets a attractive women who ISN'T all stuck up. Very rare.

[caterpillar79]

CW is very much available....and yup, whoever that man would be, (my future Dad), is a very lucky one, indeed. My Mum roars!