[stressed]

(Personal info deleted)

[stressed]

(Personal info deleted)

[caterpillar79]

Have you discussed about a possible couples' sex therapy or maybe on an individual basis? He is not listening to you, and if you keep doing what you do, you'll push him away even more.

[stressed]

(Personal info deleted)

[sourpuss]

Are you sure you want to be with this man, let alone marry him?

[rcoreyus]

Sex games and porn are basically the same thing. I believe it is a problem if (and only if) its is interfering with he sex life with you. IT IS. I would guess he is addicted (and I don't use that word lightly), and he is unlikely to get better without help. He may not get better even with help - we are not very good at treating addiction.

So - I hate to say it, but I suggest you leave. I don't see how this is going to improve, and the longer you stay, the more difficult it will be for you to leave in the future.

This isn't about choice, porn, or you being controlling any of that. It is about him preferring porn to a real live woman that he loves. I have no problem with porn when sex isn't available, or possibly watched with a partner, but t his is different.

I've watched porn, but ONLY because my wife won't be intimate with me. I'd never prefer pictures to the real thing.

Living with an addict is a recipie for misery for the rest of your life.

[Hopeless Dork]

Its quite possible that he does not have what is considered by most a healthy sexuality... which I think we will all see a lot more of as the guys that grew up seeing anything they could ever sexually imagine at the click of a mouse are coming of the age they want to be in a committed relationship.

Before internet porn, there was other forms of it, sure... but none providing instantanious variety, with no social stigma (privacy of their own pc) as internet porn does. There is enough free stuff out there to spend the rest of your life looking at hundreds of images a day and rarely , if ever see the same person.

And the porn, its going NOWHERE... its here to stay as it seems societies rarely regress sexually... once a box has been opened... its opened. It seems like more and more women are being vocal about their SO's preference to porn/masturbation over a warm body they love and while it seems rediculous when saying it, who would want that? , its become a real issue.

When I felt like it was becoming an issue in my relationship, I knew I'd have to walk away if my sexual needs were being ignored for porn. It wasn't the porn itself I had problems with, it was the feeling that he could take or leave me sexually but porn was a must have.

We were able to work it out and he listened and understood where I was coming from. Did he stop porn all together? likely not... he probably hides it, etc... but does he give me more sexual attention than before? Absolutely.

I think when you tell a guy you have a problem with their porn usage, you have to tell them why in a way that they can grasp because most don't attach emotions to things they use for stimulation and since its not cheating in real life... they are hard pressed to understand why it would bother you. So its important to be clear on what exactly it is about it that bothers you, be sure to go over it in your head and really find out for yourself what it is that upsets you about it and share that.

I think from what I've read your problem lies more with him not being intimate with you as often as you like -- if hes masturbating all the time whether its to pc, magazines or xbox is irrelevent... you are coming second to his stimulation of choice to masturbate to and he needs to be able to find a way to share his sexuality with you at least as much if not more than he does with porn or it will never work. You'll always be resentful, feel neglected and eventually will tire of it.

[sourpuss]

I agree with rcoreyus, 100%.

[caterpillar79]

Sex games and porn are basically the same thing. I believe it is a problem if (and only if) its is interfering with he sex life with you. IT IS. I would guess he is addicted (and I don't use that word lightly), and he is unlikely to get better without help. He may not get better even with help - we are not very good at treating addiction.

So - I hate to say it, but I suggest you leave. I don't see how this is going to improve, and the longer you stay, the more difficult it will be for you to leave in the future.

This isn't about choice, porn, or you being controlling any of that. It is about him preferring porn to a real live woman that he loves. I have no problem with porn when sex isn't available, or possibly watched with a partner, but t his is different.

I've watched porn, but ONLY because my wife won't be intimate with me. I'd never prefer pictures to the real thing.

Living with an addict is a recipie for misery for the rest of your life.

I agree with Richard 100% as well. You are still young. If you allow yourself to suffer now, where will that bring you?

[stressed]

(Personal info deleted)