[sarahlee20]

How much would you overlook or put up to be with someone you truely love and want to be with? Is it TRULY worth it? Is it something small, big, or just plain irritating or even worry some? If your already in a relationship,engaged or even married? How did you know that person was the one for you? How much would you put up or how far would you go for your prince charming? How much is enough? Or when is enough just enough for you? Just wondering? Is everyone/anyone REALLY happy or have a happy ending? If so, What does it take to have a "happily ever after"? looking forward to replies..

[sourpuss]

I don't thinks there's any such thing as 'happily ever after' and all that stuff. Everyone is going to do something that annoys someone else, especially after living your lives together.

I can put up with someone not being as clean as me as long as they make an attempt occasionally and don't expect me to pick up after them.
I can put up with smoking. I can put up with someone being in huge debt from college, medical bills, divorce, etc. There's a lot I can over look if the person is right.

I know that I won't put up with a drinking problem. (not worth it)

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Every relationship takes work.

It takes time, to build that relationship.

Little things will occur there communication and compromise steps in and that may very well be acceptance as well...

If both parties don't work for it, don't take the time, don't communicate, don't compromise you don't have a relationship so why stay?

Therefore, there is no happy ending.

CW

[sarahlee20]

Very Happy Fiance

Thank you ladies for your replies!I am happy and excited to hear your responses. I hope to hear a lot more too. I feel the person I am with right NOW is right for person for me.There's been a lot more improvement in our communication and we're building back up our trust in each other. . We've started cooking together and he's understanding how much help I need and what we also need from eachother to get things accomplished. Like helping with cooking and cleaning like around the house. Like tonight for instance, We cooked tonight meat loaf and a cheesy potato casserole. I was finished preparing the meal, he then scrubbed everything and put it away for me it was done right. Hence he is starting to understand how i want things done and how to do them without being asked (hence starting to mature). Which makes me a more calm and relaxed person. It took awhile but i believe he is starting to come around and see things from my side. Today was a wonderful day with my hubby and i love him very much.

[lime_lemur]

It's great to hear that your boyfriend is helping you with cooking and cleaning. Mine does that as well, and it's very sweet to see him automatically start helping out and offering to do more. There are definitely a couple good guys out there ;]

I absolutely love my current boyfriend, and because of that, it's hard for me to tell what I'm overlooking, but I know that I could go on for hours talking about why I like him. I adored him long before we ended up together, and he shows me an unparalelled kindness and adoration that are certainly worth a couple minor nuances. He has a big of ADD, and I know that he can slack and neglect his own work, but he never lets anybody else down when someone needs him. I try to push him along to get his own work done, and it's extremely difficult for him, and it can be frustrating to me when I take my time to try to help him and he has a hard time cooperating. However, he is always 100% willing to help me in any way, and he never hesitates for a moment to offer to walk 5 blocks through the city at night to get me some medicine or something if I have a headache, or offer to make me dinner when I'm tired.


I once put up with way too much for a terrible boyfriend because I was lonely. I didn't really love him, but looking back on it, loneliness was NOT a good reason to stay with the verbal and physical abuse. I have had a LOT more clarity after that. My current boyfriend is the best I could ask for, and fortunately his positives outweigh the negatives 1000 to 1 :]

[sarahlee20]

It's great to hear that your boyfriend is helping you with cooking and cleaning. Mine does that as well, and it's very sweet to see him automatically start helping out and offering to do more. There are definitely a couple good guys out there ;]

I absolutely love my current boyfriend, and because of that, it's hard for me to tell what I'm overlooking, but I know that I could go on for hours talking about why I like him. I adored him long before we ended up together, and he shows me an unparalelled kindness and adoration that are certainly worth a couple minor nuances. He has a big of ADD, and I know that he can slack and neglect his own work, but he never lets anybody else down when someone needs him. I try to push him along to get his own work done, and it's extremely difficult for him, and it can be frustrating to me when I take my time to try to help him and he has a hard time cooperating. However, he is always 100% willing to help me in any way, and he never hesitates for a moment to offer to walk 5 blocks through the city at night to get me some medicine or something if I have a headache, or offer to make me dinner when I'm tired.


I once put up with way too much for a terrible boyfriend because I was lonely. I didn't really love him, but looking back on it, loneliness was NOT a good reason to stay with the verbal and physical abuse. I have had a LOT more clarity after that. My current boyfriend is the best I could ask for, and fortunately his positives outweigh the negatives 1000 to 1 :]

Same as me. The positives outweigh the negatives. a billion to 1. It was hard to get there but i am happy he's there and with me. <3

[newhere808]

Every relationship takes work.

This is something that so many overlook. As far as i'm concerned, if you love someone and choose to be with them, you need to be able to love them when they are at their worst, and stick with them through their faults. The trick is learning what all those are before taking the next big step with them, so you can make a informed decision about it.

[p3375]

Agree w/ "every relationship takes work" AND "there is no happily ever after", if that means you have everything settled and you don't have to try anymore.

My problem with past relationships is knowing where the line is. Where does compromise and flexibility become giving too much of myself away.

I guess keeping the ballance in the relationship so both people remain true to their core values is what is hard for me.

(oh gosh "core values"? - I'm starting to sound like Sarah Palin! YIKES!)
P

[newhere808]

Agree w/ "every relationship takes work" AND "there is no happily ever after", if that means you have everything settled and you don't have to try anymore.

My problem with past relationships is knowing where the line is. Where does compromise and flexibility become giving too much of myself away.

I guess keeping the ballance in the relationship so both people remain true to their core values is what is hard for me.

(oh gosh "core values"? - I'm starting to sound like Sarah Palin! YIKES!)
P

That's a good point, I think quite a few people get caught into that at some point or another in a long-term relationship/or marriage. I think both men and women can get caught up too much in trying to 'make it work' without even knowing what the real issue is and how to address it, and end up spreading themselves too thin.

(Lol, on a side-note I think Palin got a worse shake then she deserved)

[WildChild]

I'm not a good one to answer this, except as to what not to do.
DON"T overlook too much.
DON"T tollerate too much.
Have and keep limits.
Don't give and give and give somemore, without getting anything in return.
DON"T think that loving them more and being more accepting will lead to them reaching some sort of realization and changing. They are what they are, if they recognize that they need to change, they will, and it won't be because you are so patient and forebearing, although it might be because you finally gave up, told them where to get off and walked out.

If you can't live with and love their shortcomings for a lifetime, then don't live with them.