[Guest]

alright, well - i don't want to argue too much with you. you have your opinion & i'm not trying to belittle it.

but if his wife put on some sexy panties & posed on the bed & he stood in the corner of the room & jacked off to her...

did he do anything sexual with her?

[Guest]

alright, well - i don't want to argue too much with you. you have your opinion & i'm not trying to belittle it.

but if his wife put on some sexy panties & posed on the bed & he stood in the corner of the room & jacked off to her...

did he do anything sexual with her?

Well, if she's just standing there then they're not doing anything with each other. Like I said, eye candy. :P

People see things differently. Kay kay.

[Guest]

would it be OK if a husband stood in some other guy's wife's room & jacked off to her?

[Guest]

No.

>_< I see what you're getting at.

[mamaSays]

Questions like this are always loaded, since there is no one definitive answer and people (both male and female) tend to take an "all or none" approach to their (usually very emotionally charged) responses.

Some people feel that masturbation AT ALL is cheating. And as far as "sinning" is concerned, any form of masturbation or birth-control is deemed a Christian sin. (Thou shalt not cast thy seed etc. etc.)

If a man claims that he "uses" porn as an alternative to cheating or to avoid cheating, then thats a big problem. It implies that he has nearly uncontrollable urges to cheat and that porn is the only way he can stave off the urges.

If a man can clearly be having relations with his wife but chooses to instead "use" porn, then thats a problem too, but it becomes more an issue of either a) laziness or b) possible performance anxieties. These could in fact be the same reasons "he" masturbates at ALL (with or without pornography).

Something else to keep in mind is that some men watch porn to fantasize about other women, while others watch porn to help them fantasize about their wife/girlfriend when she isn't available or is uninterested. Those are two very different things and should be treated and addressed as such.

*whilhelm
While I can certainly appreciate your analogies as being the best I've seen yet, there is one minor problem.
Two (or more) people making the conscious decision to directly communicate (i.e. engage in any form of relationship) and/or be in each others presence is very different from someone making a set of images (either stills or motion-picture) that some other anonymous person/couple is watching in an entirely different location. (Undoubtedly many people will still fail to see difference, either by choice or by ignorance, however I feel that you can clearly see the difference. Keep in mind, "intent" plays a major part in this.)



Let me finish by saying one very clear thing... regardless of why a male or female "uses" porn, if his/her partner does not feel comfortable with the fact that it is taking place, then it should be stopped, otherwise the relationship cannot be expected to remain intact and healthy.

[emg22881]

ive been having similiar problems reguarding porn lately, and i am far from religous, im due to have my second child in february and over the last six months porn has ripped my life and my relationship apart. I found by checking the history on my computer, or by things that were left open on the computer downloading that my boyfriend was watching disgusting live porn every day, not just porn sites either but local dating sites with nude lude photos of woman actually girls on them, i have four year old son that couldve clicked on any of these things at any time, i feel betrayed and that im not good enough for him, especially now that im gaining weight, he has actually told me that he will not choose between porn and me, that he will have both and i will deal with it, i cant deal with it, im losing it more and more every time i think about it, in the past ive been to strip clubs with ex boyfriends and was fine with it, because i felt like the most important thing to them, i dont feel like the most important thing to my current, porn is the most important thing and he makes that very clear, i try to convince myself i can deal with this, but as of this morning and another outburst i cant deal with it, he told me if i touch his computer he wants me out, so i left, i dont know if im going back, like i said porn is ruining my life, i think guys should keep the disgusting insulting things they do to themselves, porn is for single lonely guys that need a healthy sexual outlet, not guys that are in loving commited relationships, unless they have no respect for their ladies.....

[jean]

I am attempting to cope with the same issues that many of you are experiencing. My husband watches porn and I suspect that he is chatting on line with them and receiving email on his cell phone from them. I don't think it is anything but sex, but why do does a man who has been married for 34 years have to do this. He does not appear to understand at all why it would be hurtful to me. He has gotten to the point that he turns it all around and says that it is all in my head and that I am an ignorant *******..this is not like him...so there is more here than meets the eye. I need help to sort this all out so I jumped in on this threat that is already going. What do you all think? Should I be concerned with my husband watching porn on the computer, and should I be concerned that when questioned politely he just become insulted which turns into him calling me names. Help

[Etowngirl]

Im so hurt right now, last night i found out my fiancee has this addiction to porn. I was checking my email on his computer log in when he kept acting really nervous and standing over my shoulder. He was late for work as it is, and he seemed paranoid. Finally he asked if he could log off his computer name so he could leave. I told him when i finished checking my email i would do it for him, he got upset and mad saying he didnt want people on his computer log in because i might mess up his files. I got irrate, because i figured he didnt trust me and obviously he was trying to hide somthing. He finally came back in and told me it was porn on there that he didnt want me to see because he would be embarrassed. He left for work and left his computer screen up.

I was upset and hurt so i went and looked at his computer history to see actually how much porn he was talking about. About 85% of the web sites in his history were porn sites. he also had several videos downloaded and saved. They werent just normal porn sites either...they were weird google searched for nasty things. the most alarming site was called fling.com...apparently a place for quick hookups for just sex. I printed this site off and hung it on the door for him to see when he got home...(a little irrational i know)...when he got home this morning he said he had never seen the site before and never been to it...but its in his internet history and its all girls in our zip code pulled up.

im so confused and hurt right now i dont even want to look at him.

[Guest]

i'm really sorry you guys are going through this. there is hope.

[emg22881]

jesus it seems like an epidemic, i cant even explain the amount of anger i explode with when we fight over this filth, the most disturbing being a site called milf hunters, as a single mother when i met my guy i find this site very very disturbing. i dunnooooo..........