[CHANDLERS WISH]

I am really not sure what to say karen....

JNS gave a good insight, I only hope he is right.

But, if this is the path you want to follow and I know you are very spiritual and gifted, then follow it....maybe that is your calling.

CW

[karenshiver]

I saw Brian today and he actually asked about God and the bible... we did not talk long about it, but he was much more respectful today... I also asked him to be respectful about my religion... and he asked me some questions about religion and even listened to me talk about Revelations for a little while today... you know, you hear of people dumping people because they are not religious enough, but not the other way around... but, he did admit he has seen a change in my behavior since I gave my life to God and he likes that... he was a lot more tolerant today about the whole thing... I even told him I could not see him tomorrow until after I had attended services and received communion, and, he said okay, then asked all about communion... and he tried to fondle me and I told him I could not do the premarital thing anymore, and, he did respect me and he did not fondle me anymore and did not insist on me spending the night with him.

Never mind. He reverted back to his original stance of not wanting to marry a woman devoted to God.

[karenshiver]

He also hit me over the head with a book, several times, because I wanted him to take me home (I could not spend the night with him... for religious reasons) and he was very mean to me and tried to block my phone number... he told me that if I said anything to anyone about his abusive behavior, he would dump me and he called me an ungodly woman because I wanted to call the prosecutor and his attorney and let them know that he had hit me over the head with a book... he said that a godly woman would not turn him in and ruin his life and that she would simply turn the other cheek and forgive him and not try to change him or make him follow God's ways (like not being violent toward women).

[karenshiver]

He also argued with me over the bible all night... he said that I did not know what I was talking about when I told him that Adam and Eve had a son named Seth... he insisted that Adam and Eve had only two sons and even when I showed him scripture, he said it was false and that I should be reading the Jewish bible... when I told him I had read the text directly translated from Hebrew, he still would not believe that Adam begat Seth, then he argued with me over the story of Noah and said that there were more than 8 people on the ark... even when I showed him scripture, he denied it and told me I did not know what I was talking about and he spent all night telling me that I was a stupid idiot who could not read scripture correctly.

[karenshiver]

I am weary and I am losing patience with Brian and I am thinking that Brian is my cross to bear and I am really praying to God that He has a different plan for my life than a marriage with this unbeliever and this abuser. I feel as though Brian is separating me from God and I cannot have anything or anyone in my life that separates me from God.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

karen,

Read your heading, nearly 4000 views so you are not alone, only this:-

He lied again to you? Teach me, tormented you? Then hit you over the head with the Bible?

You are with an ABUSER...

One whom is trying to CONTROL you.

You have turned to GOD because of that, exactly because of that, yet part of you still so wants to believe due to the time together.

YOU have to leave and you have to find somewhere to go,simple...

He has you because he pays your rent and he laughs and laughs and knows that you can't beat him yet you can, the day you accept what you now believe in and WALK anywhere .....

Break this cycle now.

[karenshiver]

karen,

Read your heading, nearly 4000 views so you are not alone, only this:-

He lied again to you? Teach me, tormented you? Then hit you over the head with the Bible?

You are with an ABUSER...

One whom is trying to CONTROL you.

You have turned to GOD because of that, exactly because of that, yet part of you still so wants to believe due to the time together.

YOU have to leave and you have to find somewhere to go,simple...

He has you because he pays your rent and he laughs and laughs and knows that you can't beat him yet you can, the day you accept what you now believe in and WALK anywhere .....

Break this cycle now.

And, so right you are! Last Friday, Brian told me he could not marry a woman who was not Jewish, yet, for 6 years of our relationship, I WAS Jewish and Brian still dumped me! And, for the past 10 years, Brian has told me that I am NOT Godly enough and that he cannot marry a woman who is so "flawed" and imperfect and he was preaching Jewish laws to me!!! And, now, that I am becoming more Godly and have decided to attend bible college and minister, he is saying he cannot be married to a Catholic who follows the laws of the Old Testament and ministers to others... so, it is about control!

I have contacted several religious schools in my area... and, if accepted, they have grants and loans and work-study programs... so, if this is where God is leading me, then I will have money of my own and I will be in a work study program... and, then I can become independent of Brian and leave him! Although I have forgiven Brian, I do not HAVE to forgive a person who does not repent. It is between God and Brian now.

As far as the plea bargain, the judge and prosecutor are making Brian sign a paper confessing to the domestic violence charge (they are not letting him get away with it)... but, if Brian stays out of trouble for 8 months, then they will plea bargain and a "disturbing the peace" charge will only appear on his record, ensuring his military career and pension. I don't care what they do to him... as long as no one denies what he did to me... a plea bargain is fine with me... so long as there is a document on record with Brian confessing to the crime (which there is).

Thanks, everyone, for your support.

And, even though I have turned to God (because of all of the crosses I have to bear)... I just wanted to say that I have had a calling since I was a child... for many years, I wanted to become a nun... but God had other plans for my life... now, with being a widow and my children grown and on their own and no desire to remarry ever again, I am free to serve God 24/7. So, wanting to serve God is not just because of Brian... I have had a calling to serve God since I was a child.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

As I said, it may very well be your calling

I hope you do get accepted and I am a believer if you want something so badly, if it is attainable you will have it...

We do have a rule here about preaching religion as people have their own beliefs, whilst I can feel you will want to give many a prayer Just offer your prayers alone .......

I have a feeling that you are going to have a good year mam.

[karenshiver]

Goodbye, Everyone... this forum is not for me and it is not good for my spiritual growth. Bless you all.

[postivegurl]

I really feel for you and your story saddens me, This man is being so disrespectful towards you and no one has the right to control you, pls know and start saying to yourself every day that you are a beautiful person and no one is allowed to treat you this way, Start to believe in your self this man is not worthy of your love and respect, is there anyone you can talk to to help you work this out,