[bella321]

Jade Aus, thanks for checking. I am doing pretty good but do get tearful at times. My husband continues to work and live out of state and I have been visiting him about every other weekend. I dont know if you saw my last post, the other woman approached me and apologized to me for fooling around with my husband the last time I was visiting. She kinda blamed it on him but said that she felt bad for being involved with someone whose wife was hurt by her actions. I told her that my husband was responsible for being faithful to me and that he had lied about the status of our relationship when they had their short lived fling. A couple weeks prior to being approached by the other woman, I accidently discovered on the internet that she used to be in pornographic movies. I actually saw that she was in at least four porno movies and had posed for a number of X rated web sites. Unfortunately, she is young and very attractive. My husband claimed that he didnt know anything about the porn work but had been told by her that she used to be an exotic dancer. My husband told me to quit checking on the "former other woman" and concentrate on our marriage. I know he is right but sometimes I feel like he just wants me to forget he even cheated. I also get a sick feeling about what the other woman used to do for a living. Many men would be tripping over themselves trying to get something going with a porno queen, especially a young, pretty one. My husband expects me to believe that he loves only me and just " made a mistake". I have a hard time buying that.

[misty76]

First of all he should not be flirting at all yall are married and txting another woman ywah i would check more into that ,I know if it was me i would dig deeper cause he might just be cheating on u.I hope u get some awnsers

[Moa]

I don't know if texting is cheating. It depends on what those messages say!!! Sometimes I'd chat on facebook with some guys or via text and it's nothing but a conversation. I once had a situation when my husband forgot to log out of his facebook when I wanted to check mine. So I started reading his... It was in the beginning of our relationship right after he proposed to me. I found some very disturbing things and was totally devastated by his messages to one girl containing phrases like "Hello sexy", "I miss you too" and stuff like that. I knew he hadn't met her for months and she was well aware of our engagemnet, had a boyfriend and wanted to add me as a friend on fb at some point(!). Some of their messages were about me as well (and only in a positive way) so even though he'd call her sexy it was usual chatting on usual matters. I hated him a lot nevertheless I still don't know what it was, he says it's just the way they were used to talking, he cried and begged for forgiveness, said he didn't mean anything bad and that there were no sexual intentions whatsoever. I don't know whether it's true or not, but since the day we spoke about it he has stopped talking to her. Maybe it was just his stupidity, maybe not, I don't want to think about it anymore. The problem is not there. But if this happens again I'm going to kill him:-))))))

[CHANDLERS WISH]

karen, I moved your posts and replies to a new thread, as I feel it needs to be on it's own. So we can help you further.

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/showthread.php?t=33182

CW

[zarzie]

I have one word! "Counselling!" My husband did it. txting, lying about it, made out it was all her, then whoops yep he did encourage her and months later yes he had sex with her! I was devestated shattered my life was over and i tried to end it all, woke up in emergency! And yes it is a horrible situation but what i have learnt from it is I want to live and my husband and I are in the early days and we are working through it.

Everything happens for a reason (obviously men do think with the wrong head at times) but I was not there emotionally and physically as a wife, and he was not there because he craved love I could not give - he felt comfortable and happy with another woman - yes he does regret it all, and yes it is very hard to forget!

We are getting through it by both agreeing we want our old lives back and making daily goals to get there. We are also talking ALOT about what and why it happened without judging and raising our voices at each other. Understanding each others triggers and trying to be there and to support each other.

I wanted the truth and when i got it I did not like what i heard. But now It is time to move forward!

The mental health doctors advised us to read Relationship rescue by Dr Phil..... READ IT!

[whit4488]

cheating...so much as being UNFAITHFUL, if you feel he is being unfaithful, and is hiding from you...yes cheating. obviously he is not 100% happy with his marriage, therefore hes seeking attention form another woman. anyone who is in this situatuon i always have the same thing to say...ditch him. thats probably not what you came here to hear, but i would never tolerate that, and any chance of trying to recover from this is just a long road to disaster, get out now.

[Jade_Aus]

Bella, You have alot of inner strength from being in that situation and not going crazy! well done!!
Whit I agree.. to a certain extent.
I just got out of a 2 year relationship and OMG do i feel brilliant!!!! Having said that, 2 months ago I was begging for this to work. Something just clicks and just say enough is enough.. While people tell you to get out, it doesn't help, in fact it only makes things worse.. Why?? Cause that person already knows they should!! Just that they can't.
Took alot of strength for me to get out.. I hope I stay this positive and I hope I give myself enough time to heal from the wounds he has caused.

[ethanhunt3055]

I will say that it's not cheating , it could be that he is doing this to spread his business or anything could be possible , you just need to ask him calmly. If he is not reply to satisfying you then it's cheating . He is sending text messaging to women , figure out.

[daughtersmaid]

Husband texting 23 year old says they are just friends...

[SIZE="2"]My husband and I have been together for over 24 years, he is 54 years old and I am 57 Last year he came in from working on his pickup buddy's house drunk and passed out soon as he hit the bed. At 12:30 a.m. a text came over his phone. I thought it was his buddy telling some part to pick up for the truck so I looked at his phone it was a text from a 23 year old girl asking "Where you at? I am looking for you? I know this girl but she is not a friend of the family. She is just 4 months older than my daughter, but went to school in another town 12 miles away. I didn't say anything as we work constrution and was leaving for New York for a job in a few days. But I blew up while we we in New York working when his phone keep going off with her ring tone. Which I knew from the call 12:30 before we left. He said "You are crazy to think anything is going on we are just friends. She is just a kid."I thought he had stopped since he saw how upset it made me. But this past May I found out he was just deleting her text messages. I was using his phone one day and a message came in from her. I started checking his phone night when he woud go to sleep and all his calls and messages were EMPTY. But I found pictures of her on his phone of her (nothing bad) just pictures of her smiling for the picture. In June right after one of her text messages I asked, "As your wife of 24 years I am asking you to stop that. It bothers me." He responded with, NO! "Whats wrong you jealoues of her? Scared of her?

[Newwife11]

Drinking

I was married in May of this year to a wonderful man whom I've devoted my life to. He comes from a background of a family where drinking and abuse was always present. He has never hit me or showed signs of being abusive. His family has always depended upon him for everything and now that he's married, he devotes himself to us and not them. His mother is full of anger and now I think a little jealousy from what our marriage is and how hers was not. I feel like she always wants to bring us down. Recently there was a very large arguement between them and they haven't talked in 5 weeks. My husband lets things build up in him and when he drinks all the negative comes out. Sometimes he says mean things to me and it makes me wonder who he really is at times. I've asked him to seek help to make our marriage stronger. I fear that the outside issues of life will take a toll on us. What should I do?