[Crystalblue]

I forgot to add that he actually accepted an invitation earlier in the week to go out for dinner with a friend of mine. I can't even remember what day it was because we've been so busy and too much is going on. I love it! I spent that whole afternoon swimming with a friend, and had another friend invite me and the fam out for dinner. I got back home with the kids and we all went and had a great time. Then realized my husband had locked the keys in the car. Lol. I actually have a lot of fun with these situations, trying to figure out the puzzle with the tools we have on hand. It makes me feel like Maguyver. Lol. My husband had already called to have someone pop the lock, but we got it just as they were pulling up so didn't have to waste the money. Between my love of figuring out how to use what we have and my husbands "colorful" background, we got it just in time. We bent up our intina though. Lol

[oxy-moron]

Good on you Crystalblue , it sounds like you are making great progress- you are an inspiration.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I concur with Oxy

[Crystalblue]

Thanks y'all. Having a level of comfort return between my husband and I is something I see as great progress. It's encouraging to know that our relationship can be repaired because for a while, I just wasn't sure it could be done. I still have some heart ache, but it's much less, more of a reminder of why we need to keep working.

The girl he knew from his ff game sent him an instant message a couple of days ago. It put me on edge a little, but he deleted it and told me about it, then deleted the app that let's him get the messages. He gets occasional messages from his friend too, but doesn't reply. He said in the last one, she asked if they were never going to talk again and if that was how they were going to end a 16 year friendship. I already told him that for him to do that for me is a big deal. I know long-lasting friendships are few and far between, but there is no way I'd ever be ok with them being friends after what happened.

After this message the other day, I said that I was ok, but knowing they are trying to keep that door open makes me wonder if he was clear about not talking to them anymore. He says he told them he couldn't, and wouldn't, talk to them anymore. Idk, I just hope it stops soon. It makes me wonder what they were getting out of an online relationship that would make them hold on to it like that. The only thing I can think it that it's very sad if fantasy relationships are more powerful to you than real ones.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Fantasy relationships are very real to some people.. They conquer up all sorts of beliefs of a future, one day with that person.. They dream of them And, that person takes the place of "real time" because, they believe that they are in-love, someone likes them, their self esteme is very low or they are hermits to scared to venture out into the dating world and then they become stuck on that fantasy..

You can say "can't, won't" but they hear, " she won't let you" and again, believe still in this fictitioius flirtation as being love, regardless if they say it to the other person or not, it's all in their thoughts..

I don't think it would have mattered "what" he said.. If someone uses the "aren't you ever going to talk to me after all these years". They are very lonely people and they also are dreamers..

[Crystalblue]

I have a cute story from today. I had planned on going to the ice cream festival with a friend and our kids. I had invited my husband to go, but he never gave me a straight answer about if he was in or not. I went ahead and made backup plans to ride with my friend. I got all ready to go, got the kids ready to go, and my friends waiting to hear the final plan, if he's driving us, if she's picking us up, or if I'm meeting her at her place to ride with her. My husband's saying he doesn't feel like going, but wants me to go have coffee with him. At this point, I'm getting flustered because I'm short on time, don't want to leave my friend hanging, don't want to disappoint the kids by changing plans, but want to spend time doing stuff with my husband.

My friend is calling wanting to know what's going on as I'm trying to see if we can have coffee after the festival. Finally, I just say enough. I already made plans and told the kids. She was fixing to come pick us up, and he says to tell her not to and has the kids get in the car. So I call her and tell her to just go on to the festival, I don't know what's going on. I keep my patients though, and I get in the car with him and the kids.

We're heading down the road, and he says he doesn't know where the closest Starbucks is, the only one he knows of is downtown. I started to tell him where the nearest one was when it clicked that he was messing with me. I just smiled real big and sat there quiet to let him know, ok, you got me. He was taking us to the festival downtown. I actually cried a little. Lol. Lame, but he doesn't go out with us to do things that don't involve a movie screen or a resteraunt or both, at least not without acting upset about it.

I had a great time. The kids had a great time. I'm pretty sure he had a great time. I was actually the one that said I was ready to go home. I was worn out, and my knee was starting to bother me from standing too long, but I got to go out and have hours of fun with my family and friends, without him acting miserable and wanting to leave.