[lostinlove123]

2 days 3 days..soon 4

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Okay,

Tell us about how he was "before" he went away, what does he do for you how does he express his love to you, how many times would you see him, when was your last date, etc etc.

And, what is it you love about him?

Is he controlling do you think or takes you for granted and the things you do for him?

What about finances?

[lostinlove123]

I feel like driveing to were he is to viset..even though its so far away..maybe then he will re-connect and relize what he has..maybe one month is to long to be apart ..he told me i could go with him at first maybe this is my fault for not going ( i wanted to viset my family for the month then we would find a place to live) maybe he is lossing interest....omg ill drive my self crazy....your right tomorrow im getting out of the house or getting something done to stop thinking about it...Thanks WC

[jns]

CW your right! I should not asume anything and let him have this time for him. I'm also getting upset becasue all the people he goes out with are girls. Pools..bars..movies..and they are all woman that he hangs out with. Maybe this is why im so sad. pluse the fact that i havent talked to him in a couple days...Tonight I went out with friends to try to "get out" ..but i ended up coming home early to see if he left me a message..he did'nt

This changes everything. It sounds like he has already moved on if he doesn't want to talk and spends his time hanging out with all women. Don't continue to waste time with him. Even if he came back, he wouldn't only focus on you.

[lostinlove123]

before going away everything was fine. We lived together for a year we went out to movies we have the same hobbies we love being outside! We are really the perfect couple..We both love animals we agree on so much in life...as far as finances go he makes alot more then me. But we never argue on this subject. He is not controlling but he does like to lead me in the right direction EX: I want to take a class online..he tells me its a wast of time and money..And that makes me feel alittle bad about takeing the class b/c i know he gets payed more and when we go out to dinner he pays for most of them but we never fight about this ever.

[lostinlove123]

but on the other hand after he tells me its a wast of time and money he tells me after i can do what i want..so its not really telling me what to do

[lostinlove123]

I dont know what I would do with my life if i didnt have him...life would be empty

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I can tell you are madly in love.

It's good that you share some interests, do I go back to the first thought of don't show you are feeling "needy" is that what he is saying to you?

I want to ask you a hypothetical question...What would you do if you found out that he played whilst away for that month? But still wanted to marry you?

And, he's going to college and working right? Has his goals in life changed, what does he want to do with his life? And what does he expect from you, ie) work part time have kids, or get a career you want so do that course.

See, you have to look out for number one and in that marry a person into your life, not get married and never have a life if that makes sense...You have to still be your own person and independent and enjoy your own space, time not depend on someone so much emotionally

[lostinlove123]

Well if he cheated and came back and felt really bad and still wanted to be with me...i dont know. I know i should not take him back but I might...His goals have always been the same. so has my goals. He is going to school to get extra cash from his degree but in the long run we both want to open a horse farm together. so till we get the money to build up for our home,wedding,barn we are trying to make some money. This has been the plan for along time now. as for being needy..i do feel very needy right now its 3am and my hunny has not talked to me in 4 days..but im not snapping at him or telling him this i simple said a couple days ago I miss you and thats when he said he cant spend all his free time with me..but like i said before i dont want all his free time just a message here and there or a call per day is all i ask. I am my own person it just happened to be that we have the same dream and we both have differnet skills ( some same skills) that make this dream one..i dont know if that makes sence or not

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It makes sense.

But, shouldn't he respect you? He knows you are pinning, worried sick, staying awake, why? Because he knows you right?

So what are you going to do tomorrow if he doesn't call?

And what would our members do, if they would like to give your their opinion if they were in your shoes