[Little]

A Normal Guy: Your opinion is valid, but your portrayal of it is so disgusting. Is there some way you can be less graphic or colloquial? I am a teenager and am around them all the time, but I think you might be using out-of-date sayings just to get a rise out of people.
My response to the initial post is that it insinuates that if a man watches porn, it is because his wife/girlfriend is in some way inadequate in fulfilling his sexual desires. I don't think that is it at all. Let's flip it for a second: I am in a relationship and I also view porn on occasion. Once a week or so, on average, and on whims. My boyfriend couldn't be more satisfying in bed. Does the fact that I look at porn mean that he's inadequate? No, not in my case. And I am a woman. So, if my boyfriend looks at porn, I am not intimidated or hurt, nor do I feel betrayed.
But I am not every woman or every person either. You can't ask every person to not be offended by something that in some cases is DESIGNED to be offensive. If your girlfriend asks you not to watch porn and you care about her, you should stop. If you feel you CAN'T stop, then that's where it crosses the line to more serious offenses of cheating and addiction. You shouldn't downplay others' feelings that they care enough to share with you, or else you REALLY WILL be sifting through "****s, gold diggers," etc the rest of your life.
Anyhow, I feel like this is turning into "just another porn fight" which we've been through multiple times on this forum with the same contenders. Just one added to use vulgarities and goad the original ones on.

[Guest]

I think about myself and my penis, thats it

thank you, guy.

prodigy - didn't you ask me if masturbation & porn were self centered activities?

little: i'm hoping we can discuss it without the fight.

[A Normal Guy]

thank you, guy.

prodigy - didn't you ask me if masturbation & porn were self centered activities?

little: i'm hoping we can discuss it without the fight.

Of course their self centered activities but doesn't mean their wrong.

[Guest]

no, it doesn't. that's just one of a dozen reasons i would say porn is detrimental to a marriage.

i just think it's interesting that folks believe that women who don't want men to get off on porn are being selfish - when getting off on porn is the epitome of selfish behavior.

i think your honesty is great, assuming you're being real. guys get off on porn because theyre horny - you're exactly right. it's easy & it's fun.

and i think i'd probably agree with you that guys go to porn because it offers something they're not getting. that doesn't mean they don't love, care about, & desire who they're with. but it only makes sense that guys watch porn because watching it does something that NOT watching it won't do.

dangerous thing when a guy gets conditioned to get aroused from that thing that porn offers that real intimacy doesn't offer.

that's quite a situation to be in.

well you said yourself - just spanking is dull & boring. you need porn to make it intense & fun.

same thing could eventually become true of real sex - in fact, it is unfortunately true, all the time. i just read a thread in the "sex" forum by a woman whose husband won't touch her anymore.

but he frequently pursues porn & masturbates all the time. he probably can't perform with his wife anymore. i'm sure she's beautiful, but they've had a couple of kids - she probably doesn't look like the 18 year olds in his movies - and maybe she won't agree to have her hair yanked, be choked, and wear a plaid skirt while calling him "daddy" as he ejaculates all over her face while calling her a nasty little ****.

so he just beats off while watching some other guy do that to a teenager he'll never know.

pretty sad - for both of them. but i'm sure it's intense.

[hotdogg]

oh here we go again! whilhelm is getting carried away with himself again!

so what you are saying is it is ok to masterabate has long has you do not use porn?

so if you just think about other people having sex that is ok! but watching other people have sex should be outlawed!

plus i hate to break it to you but not all porn starrs are 18 year olds ever heard of milf on average the women are in their 40s.

[stephreneeowens]

So you think that porn is a selfish act? In my eyes, I see it as a natural part of life similar to eating (since we are using food for analogies). Granted, you do not need it to live or get by, but your body and the chemicals in your brain (for men) still tells you every day that you need to do it and it will make you feel like garbage if you don't. It's not like a drug addiction that you brought on yourself. This is a normal part of your chemistry that you are born with. Forcing a man to try to ignore those feelings goes against their very nature. It is something that helps promote good mental and physical health. I guess I just don't see how something so natural and really part of the way we were created is selfish.

I just love how you compare watching pornography with eating toxic waste. People who shun porn are those very people who treat sex as if it were some terrible crime or secret that should never be publicized. Like sex should always occur behind doors and you NEVER tell anyone about it. Seriously, why is reproduction such a big scary secret? We are raised to not talk about vaginas and penises or anything else related and treated as if those were bad words. Never show too much skin. I say "why not?" Why should we be ashamed of who we are, what we were born with, who sees it, and how we use it for sex (which is what we were made to do)? What is wrong with admiring the sexual appeal of other people? Even when you are in a relationship, if you say that you never size people up in rank of their sexual appeal, you are just lying to yourself. Everyone does it, unless they have completely lost their sex drive. If you are saying "NO I DON'T"... well... then that is just not natural and not the way the average human brain works.

Also, it's not that pornography and masterbation is an "adequate substitute for sex" by any means. I am sure every man would tell you he would much rather be having sex with his woman then having to masterbate. Of course, there are times when a man will want to just pleasure himself in private just like women need private time for themselves. In reality, life doesn't always allow for the man to have sex with his woman whenever the urge comes along. Maybe their schedules prevent it, maybe she doesn't feel like it, maybe they had an argument and she won't do it, or like someone else mentioned... maybe he is on a business trip. What does it matter as long as he is not being deceatful about it?

I could see being concerned if the man was no longer trying to have sex with his woman and prefered porn over her. That would be a good cause for concern, but if he still has a healthy desire for his woman, then I would say there is nothing wrong there.

My husband is free to watch porn when he wants to. I will even watch it with him and some times by myself. I can honestly tell you, I never think... "oh they are hot... wow... it's like cheating on my husband". Or "I wish I had them instead of my husband". Or anything even remotely like that. Like I said, life is too short to live under all these prehistoric beliefs about being this way and that with your partner.

To "Ravsoma": Some times sex IS just sex and an orgasm is just an orgasm. Depending on your state of mind and the situation, it can be as basic as a hand shake. If you are alone in your room, feeling "frisky", you masterbate, and have an orgasm... does that count for some all mighty important and spiritual event? No. It was just a moment where you released some sexual tension. Nothing more. It doesn't change the way you percieve the world or your relationship with someone else.

I think part of the problem is that women are so much more emotional and they tend to attach sooooo much emotion to EVERYTHING. You have to remember that men do NOT think the same way we do. You can't MAKE them think the way you do either. They just don't attach all those excessive emotions to sex like we do. That doesn't make them wrong, just different in the way they were made to feel about sex.

Now, I am not saying that ALL sex is equal to a handshake and I am also not saying you should spread it around like a handshake. I do not believe in cheating or sleeping around. Sex with a partner DOES have meaning to it when it is with someone you care for. But when it comes to masterbation with an image(pornography) of someone you don't know, will never meet, and don't attach feelings to it other then sexual urges, then yes... it is just an orgasm you are reaching for and nothing more. It is not like the person masterbating to porn is trying to establish a relationship with that particular image or person in the image.

Have you watched much porn? I have noticed that the majority of porn geared towards men is predominantly close ups of the genital areas and focuses mainly on close ups of the actual penetration. I believe it is the penetration and skin to skin images that they like so much. Not the particular woman that is in it. I honestly believe it is the act that turns men on, not so much who is actually in it. That would prove that it is merely a primal urge rather then something more emotional and concerning. Men do not care about the story line or any of that stuff. They just want to see the raw sex.

For women, it is different. Most women who watch porn are particular about the story line and whether or not the people in it are attractive. Women apply emotion to it. They watch it more like it is an actual movie to be studied.

This is why we have the term "chic flicks". The way men and women perceive movies and images is very different. Men are attracted to raw actions and women are attracted to emotional situations that can be applied to life situations.

You might think I am rambling here, but to study the differences between the way men and women view things will bring a lot of enlightenment to everyone. Especially about why we have such drastic differences in opinions pertaining to what is ok and what isn't.

this is purly opinion, and not fact...porn is not natural, sex is. We as humans are one partner mammals. Im not saying dont watch porn, but be in agreement with your partner and dont sneak around and lie. I dont like porn and I dont like my man watching it, and yes they can control it just like anything else...or any addiction, u know it is bad and wrong so you have to learn how to control it. Although I think if you find a partner that likes it as you do, it is all good.

[Guest]

sure hotdogg. i understand all porn stars aren't 18.

but are we really going to have to argue that the most typical issue that confronts couples who have been married a while that are dealing with porn is the age factor? when you see the models in the typical magazines that are sold behind the counter - playboy, penthouse, hustler, club, cheri...

when you see models in the swimsuit issues - are they older or younger, hotdogg? your typical playboy bunny or penthouse pet of the month is...40? is that what you're arguing?

give me a break.

i never said it was OK to masturbate without porn. i never addressed it at all.

but you're right, HD. the evidence is overwhelming. there aren't volumes of men out there who are comparing their middle aged, sagging wives to the enhanced, tight young models in porn.

it's all a myth.

out of curiosity - what would you attribute a man neglecting to touch his wife for months but regularly getting off with porn?

dazzle me.

[YummyMummyNat]

I was f**king my husband 3 times a day AND sucking him off a lot a day too but he still did the ****** thing of watching porn behind my back twice while I was pregnant. I hit the f**king roof!!! It is cheating and he knew that if he watched it one more time that i'd be off and he'd never see the baby. He got his priorities in order from that day and so he f**king should have!!

Oh and BTW I don't watch porn with my husband - I hate it, he doesn't need it, i'm the only sexual release he NEEDS and I think it's only right for single men. Men who are married don't deserve a woman!!!

[Guest]

I was f**king my husband 3 times a day AND sucking him off a lot a day too but he still did the ****** thing of watching porn behind my back twice while I was pregnant. I hit the f**king roof!!! It is cheating and he knew that if he watched it one more time that i'd be off and he'd never see the baby. He got his priorities in order from that day and so he f**king should have!!

Oh and BTW I don't watch porn with my husband - I hate it, he doesn't need it, i'm the only sexual release he NEEDS and I think it's only right for single men. Men who are married don't deserve a woman!!!

...Calm down, please. I think threatening to leave him was a little extreme. Taking away his child...that was kinda out of the line, right there.

[hotdogg]

god i feel sorry for your husband! if thats your reaction to porn i would hate to see how you react in other situations. i bet he has to walk around with his eyes closed.