[CHANDLERS WISH]

Wow, I didn't realise you were that close, a name?

It's not easy but I love that last line ..

[jns]

I've got maybe 4 days left of my pregnancy, 3 if we induce, but we'll see. I've got a Dr. appt in a little while. I've been trying to put most of my focus on the baby I'm fixin to meet, but I did some thinking about everyone's replies.

Don't put anything in front of those magical first days with your new bundle of joy. Hugs and best wishes.

[Crystalblue]

Wow, I didn't realise you were that close, a name?

It's not easy but I love that last line ..

Dr. decided against inducing me; says my bodies not ready, but that could change anytime. 3 days to go if she comes on time. We picked Annabeth for her name, or my oldest son picked it & we liked it. He's a big Percy Jackson reader.

Don't put anything in front of those magical first days with your new bundle of joy. Hugs and best wishes.

Thanks Jns, I'm worried about how I'll do emotionally with everything going on, but know my energy needs to be with bonding & caring for my new little girl.

[jen1447]

Annabeth

I love it!

[Crystalblue]

Yeah, I think it's pretty. I liked my younger son's name pick, too, but "Sparky" just wasn't quite as good of a match for a little girl.

[crushedwife]

I am going through almost the same exact situation. I however am not pregnant but I do have a 16 month old child. This situation is extremely difficult to step back and take a look at the reality of the situation. It's so easy to get wrapped up in picking it apart a thousand different ways. The truth and reality of it is this, do you honestly think you can forgive, move on and find fulfillment with a man who has caused this much damage? Is it fair for the kids to see a struggling/ loveless relationship between mom and dad, keep in mind what they are raised in is going to greatly affect who they become. When you look at your husband do you see someone who you truly love or Are you lost in the idea of love, marriage and a happy family? I agree with Jen. A person rarely completely changes. A lot of these problems are part of his character and that never changes. He may be going through the motions to keep you but long term happiness seems so minute. You need to evaluate your needs and wants and make a decision from there. I understand the hurt and pain, but a lifetime of regret is much more painful than the temporary pain of a divorce. Good luck and be strong

[Crystalblue]

I am going through almost the same exact situation. I however am not pregnant but I do have a 16 month old child. This situation is extremely difficult to step back and take a look at the reality of the situation. It's so easy to get wrapped up in picking it apart a thousand different ways. The truth and reality of it is this, do you honestly think you can forgive, move on and find fulfillment with a man who has caused this much damage? Is it fair for the kids to see a struggling/ loveless relationship between mom and dad, keep in mind what they are raised in is going to greatly affect who they become. When you look at your husband do you see someone who you truly love or Are you lost in the idea of love, marriage and a happy family? I agree with Jen. A person rarely completely changes. A lot of these problems are part of his character and that never changes. He may be going through the motions to keep you but long term happiness seems so minute. You need to evaluate your needs and wants and make a decision from there. I understand the hurt and pain, but a lifetime of regret is much more painful than the temporary pain of a divorce. Good luck and be strong

It's hard to know what the right thing to do is a lot of the time, but I think my decision has enough logic to it. At this point, I don't know if I can be happy and build a better relationship with my husband. It might be too little, too late. There might be too much damage done.

I don't know that my husband will fix things to a point where trust is restored, or if he'll stop making choices that lead to hurting me. I don't even know for sure that he doesn't still have inappropriate relationships that haven't been ended. I may find something today, or a month, a year down the road that starts everything over again.

Who knows, maybe it'll get better and we can have that strong marriage and better relationship. Maybe our foundation will be rock solid and something our kids can strive for and respect as they start their own relationships.

There's a lot of fear and a lot of hope and back and forth and unknowns for me right now, but what I do know is I don't want to have regrets. I don't want to regret staying in a relationship that's hurtful and damaging for us or our kids. I also don't want to regret leaving my husband while he's trying or walking away if there's hope for us to work through our problems.

I know I can't support myself and the kids right now. I have family support if I need it, but it would be temporary until I found the first crap job I could land.

I know if I stay I can work on a better education & a more stable career that would give me more options for taking care of my family.

If things get better during that time, awesome! I'll have a way to help support us and contribute financially. If they don't, it will hurt just as bad, but at least I'll know we gave each other a chance and want different things to be happy.

[Crystalblue]

Still waiting on this baby to make her move. Today's my due date. Guess we need to take a drive down some bumpy roads.

[jns]

I caused my mom anxiety by being 9 days late. It'll happen when it happens. Good luck.

[Crystalblue]

I had my little Annabeth on Saturday. Everything went smoothly. My belly measurements were on the small side so the doctor and I were thinking she'd be a petite thing between 6 & 7lbs, but she came out a whopping 8lbs 1oz and 20 inches long. She's healthy and beautiful, just perfect.

My husband has been all over her, holding her, changing her, & asking me to make bottles so he can feed her & let me nap.

I've been trying to keep up with doing the regular household stuff I was doing before, but overdid things & had to get onto myself about slowing down for a few days. Going with my husband to help with grocery shopping a day later out of the hospital was too much. Apparently I have a problem with asking for help & letting things get done a little differently for now. Not sure why it matters so much that the dishes get loaded "wrong" for a few days or dinner gets stirred in the opposite direction. Lol. I'm not used to my husband actually being ready to help. It's weird.

I still don't feel like I've reached a point of closure with my husband. Every time I feel like I need to talk things out more, I get this kind of defeated, "what's the point" feeling. It bothers me that he says he sexted one time about a year ago & then told her not to send pics anymore, but was guarding his phone & deleting texts on a regular basis. There's too many lies and too much secrecy for me to accept what he's telling me. Add the fact that he has contact with the women he was pursuing, everyday at work. I'll never be in a position to consider trusting him if this doesn't change. He has plans for changing jobs, but it'll take time and more school and training. He also mentioned possibly moving states, but I can't move away from my support system for a man I can't trust.

For now I'm trying to take care of little things that'll be good for the kids down the road. When I start feeling overwhelmed about what's going to happen with our marriage, I've been trying to stop & ask myself what I can do next to be a better provider as a mom.