[CHANDLERS WISH]

I was wondering the same thing, actually I was wondering if she could possibly be his because if she wasn't I find it a bit odd that she is so involved. I guess I just always seem to think of the worst scenario in situations.

I read and replied to the first thread.

moonshadow48
His myspace page had her daughter on it and they were conversing about her mother. And then she sent him and email with pictures attached. One of her mother and my husband. VERY clearly close

The only thing that confused me there was " mother doesn't have a computer"... But, either they have been conversing for years really, or the daughter really likes him?

Why would a daughter of a woman whom he was with 30 years ago converse with a guy that saw her mum 2 years ago for the first time?

And how old was the picture? The Mother of this girl and her husband?

Sure, as i wrote there he may be stepping back in time. I am sure there was a statement made of " how things would have been between us?" that he made.

And 5 kids, some hers, some "ours" and then "i looked after his kids as if they were my own?"...

I am some what confused and feel that 1+1 is equalling a lot more...

CW

[C]

[quote=moonshadow48;39960]I have been with him for 23 years, married for 20 of those years. We have 5 children together, and would not just want to throw away a relationship without proof.

quote]

No, CW.....They again have five kids.......Two and two are starting to add different

[CHANDLERS WISH]

moonshadow48
We have 5 children that are his, mine and ours. I took care of his kids as if they were my own. One still lives with us and my youngest lives with us.

This was on her original thread about cheating....

That's why i am confused.

But i guess that's not relevant but only in the thoughts i guess about this daughter...

Could be way of base and sorry moonshadow48 if we are... Its just puzzles as we don't know some of the things you are writing and truly, trying to help.

CW

[moonshadow48]

Wow it never even crossed my mind that her daughter could be his. I am not sure how old she is. As much as that would floor me, I would certainly never keep a child no matter how old away from thier parent. I don't think that is the case, I think his ex wife would have known about that but then again, hey her mother was just a "sister" to him. But hey all they would have to do is tell me. I am a big girl and know he had a life before me.
I have a son from another relationship. And he and I have one daughter together. I raised his girls because he got custody in his divorce from his first wife. He had three daughters with her.
All of the girls, ours together and his from the previous marraige look like him you can definetly tell his genes dominate. So I would imagine she would look more like him if she was his.
Now on the other hand if she liked what she saw when she met him then maybe that is why she wanted to keep the discussions between him and her mother going. Maybe later on she could make the move. I find that whole part just sick and wrong that a mother would let her daughter get involved with anything like that. But maybe that is why the mother is on her 3rd marraige.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Wow it never even crossed my mind that her daughter could be his. I am not sure how old she is. As much as that would floor me, I would certainly never keep a child no matter how old away from thier parent. I don't think that is the case, I think his ex wife would have known about that but then again, hey her mother was just a "sister" to him. But hey all they would have to do is tell me. I am a big girl and know he had a life before me.
I have a son from another relationship. And he and I have one daughter together. I raised his girls because he got custody in his divorce from his first wife. He had three daughters with her.
All of the girls, ours together and his from the previous marraige look like him you can definetly tell his genes dominate. So I would imagine she would look more like him if she was his.
Now on the other hand if she liked what she saw when she met him then maybe that is why she wanted to keep the discussions between him and her mother going. Maybe later on she could make the move. I find that whole part just sick and wrong that a mother would let her daughter get involved with anything like that. But maybe that is why the mother is on her 3rd marraige.

See you have a slight cheeky sense of humor glad... Got a bit worried about your reaction over this.

Mmmm, well, you have pointed out that the "sister" is just a bit to close for comfort, but the daughter? Maybe, or maybe she is used to helping to do Mummys work? Too many maybes hey? Problem is which ever the answer, the only one you'd be okay with would be if she was his daughter... But, if that was the only factor, then why send her mother a card?

I have no idea how you can get him to spill here, .....

But we're thinking of you does that count?

CW

[moonshadow48]

Another red flag

See you have a slight cheeky sense of humor glad... Got a bit worried about your reaction over this.

Mmmm, well, you have pointed out that the "sister" is just a bit to close for comfort, but the daughter? Maybe, or maybe she is used to helping to do Mummys work? Too many maybes hey? Problem is which ever the answer, the only one you'd be okay with would be if she was his daughter... But, if that was the only factor, then why send her mother a card?

I have no idea how you can get him to spill here, .....

But we're thinking of you does that count?

CW

Yes I am glad your are thinking of me. Please know the only reason I am searching is because I still have these questions and I feel it is still half truths. This past weekend my youngest daughter went up north (UP in MI) and we had a bonfire at our house. Both friends and family were over. i wanted to send her a text because she was unable to make calls or receive them on her cell (roaming charges high) However my phone only had 1 bar left and i didn't want it to go dead before receiving a reply. So i picked up his phone and started to scroll for her name. My husband got all protective of his phone asking what are you doing? I told him that i was going to text her. He said well give it here I will set it up. I told him I was capable I was just getting to her name. he kept it up so i just said forget it closed the phone and put it on the table. I was sitting there and started talking to a friend and he kept saying I could text on his phone no problem. I said obviously it is just forget it. Then he sent a text to my daughter saying my phone was dying but she could text to his. I went in the house and got another drink and when i came out he asked what is wrong. I told him don't worry I won't touch his phone. My friend said What's up with that? Before I could say anything he said I think she is mad at me cause I won't let her text her baby girl.
I don't like anyone answering for me. I said it was nothing (family doesn't know what is going on other than my daughters) I looked at him and said he doesn't want me to open my mouth so drop it now. He did and I told him what the real problem was. Why was he so protective of that phone? Makes me think again, he looks at mine all the time. I really don't care I have nothing to hide.
Thought I would share. What are your thought on this one? Every time I try to move past it another red flag comes up.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well, if he was peeved because your "invading his space", and i was him, i'd get mad, not make a joke, or send the text myself?

And, if i was married, i wouldn't give a ... If i picked my ex-husbands phone up to use, he would ask, but out of curiousity because i always use my own... I think if i told him what i was doing he'd just say ok... He likes his space, i must admit, i would have asked to use it first.

So, i guess, as you didn't he could have got defensive as he afterwards said, you could use it.

I just don't like that he didn't locate her name, then give you the phone to text what you wanted to text, that to me is hiding or controllling, one of the two...

Hard...

CW

[Fallen1]

Well, if he was peeved because your "invading his space", and i was him, i'd get mad

I guess I just think differently than most. I feel that if you are married there should be no "you have no business doing/looking at this or that".

If I wanted to use his phone and picked it up so be it. The only reason he should react the way he did is if he had something to hide. Same goes if my s/o picked mine up, if I have nothing to hide .....

Not picking on you CW, just using your words.

[rcoreyus]

Just picking up a phone and using it is fine. Opening a credit card statement to look for some charge is fine. But, going through the recent calls list, or scrutinizing records with the express purpose of trying to find out what your spouse has been up to I think is not OK.

"The innocent have nothing to fear" has a bad history.

I guess I just think differently than most. I feel that if you are married there should be no "you have no business doing/looking at this or that".

If I wanted to use his phone and picked it up so be it. The only reason he should react the way he did is if he had something to hide. Same goes if my s/o picked mine up, if I have nothing to hide .....

Not picking on you CW, just using your words.

[Fallen1]

Just picking up a phone and using it is fine. Opening a credit card statement to look for some charge is fine. But, going through the recent calls list, or scrutinizing records with the express purpose of trying to find out what your spouse has been up to I think is not OK.

"The innocent have nothing to fear" has a bad history.

I don't think she mentioned going through his list. She simply picked up his phone to use it and he snatched it away from her. To me that implies there is something he doesn't want her to see.


What I am saying is there should be nothing in a marriage that one partner doesn't want the other to find out about. I should have a right to ask just as my partner has a right to ask me.