[Richard S]

This is tricky. If the situation were reversed, that is, a guy pressuring a girl to go down on him, most of the blame would flow back to the guy, and to the guy's previous girlfriend, who appears to have spoiled him and set him up to have unreasonable expectations with his future lovers.

Not all men can do it. I knew back when I was a virgin that I'd want to be the kind of lover who was good at oral. I love the whole process, the way a woman has to relax and trust a man, then to have that trust validated as he brings her to climax, like he knows things about her body that even she doesn't know.

What an intimate and connecting thing it is, when you can directly experience a woman's arousal, how wet she becomes. It's like you know a special secret about her. The way she smells and tastes turns you on, makes you hard. And how being the cause of that experience validates me as a man...

(OK, sorry, I'll get out of the Anais Nin / Penthouse Forum territory now).

My point is that it's something that just comes from who you are. It's a act of giving. Some things can't be taught, or learned.

You may need to accept the fact that this is just a deal breaker for you...

[2morrow]

Richard S. Thank you for your wonderful input from the male perspective.
What you have described is how I feel towards the man I am with. I just wish he could be like how you have described yourself. I am crazy about him, I love to give him pleasure and see him so happy and fulfilled sexually, but he just doesn't give back. What a shame. He's so lousy. And I just want to scream that at him, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. Thanks again Richard S.

[WildChild]

Have you sat down and talked about this? Outside the bedroom, when it won't shut your partner down. Men can be touchy. No TV, no distractions, we need to talk. No accusations, or assumptions, just this is what I need from you. If you have to write it. It could be they aren't confident with their skills, it could be they have the 'ick' factor going, learn what is going on and see if there is a way to deal with it. If not you may have to move on.

Ami, 69 doesn't work for a lot of women. Many of us need to be able to focus and relax into it. When I'm performing oral on my SO that is all I'm thinking about, touch, scent, sounds he makes, his breathing - it's all about him then. When on the receiveing end I have to relax and go completely into it. I can't do both. I suspect if they were honest a lot of women get little or nothing out of a 69. Talk to her, tell you don't expect a reenactment of deep throat. Guide her through it, start with just licking, sucking, how she can take your balls in her mouth, play with your 'taint, tease the head. Promise you will keep your hands off her head - that can be frightening for a newbie - having a guy grab and start controlling when she doesn't have the skills to handle it. you might get her a book, something like, Tickle His Pickle?

[silvertae]

As Dan Savage would say, "DTMFA"

And also to quote Dan Savage, "Oral sex comes standard. Any model that comes without it should be returned to the lot immediately."

[good good]

Don't do him. Its not fair that he gets to enjoy oral and you don't. Tell him if he wants another hes gonna have to return the favor. If it'll make it easier, try fruit, chocolate, or whipped cream to make it interesting for him.

[rcoreyus]

Depends on the person. For me, food and sex don't mix - I like both, but somehow they just don't go together for me at all.

As far as fair - well there are lots of people (of both genders) who give, and don't get any in return. This is something you should enjoy doing because you like to please your partner.

Don't do him. Its not fair that he gets to enjoy oral and you don't. Tell him if he wants another hes gonna have to return the favor. If it'll make it easier, try fruit, chocolate, or whipped cream to make it interesting for him.

[myboyfriendmark]

Boyfriend refuses to perform oral sex

I was wondering if I was the only one with the same problem. I have been going out with my fiance (we are planning to get married in September) but I am not sure we are sexually compatible. I perfom oral sex on him all the time but he does even try it on me. I have told him DIRECTLY that I want it and he just keep using his hand. I do not like hands, it is too rough and very childish. We are not in high school! Sorry I am just soo frustrated as I have directly told him and ask but I dont get an answer back. I will like to know if I am overreacting or we are not compatible.

[Steph33]

The one sided way doesn't work, unless of course one of you likes oral. I'm new here and only started 1 thread with a general inquiry (below). But after reading the various comments in this thread, I'm going to keep my mouth shut and just be grateful for what I originally asked about.

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/sex/12629-question-about-my-guy-oral-sex.html

[myboyfriendmark]

The one sided way doesn't work, unless of course one of you likes oral. I'm new here and only started 1 thread with a general inquiry (below). But after reading the various comments in this thread, I'm going to keep my mouth shut and just be grateful for what I originally asked about.

https://www.womens-health.com/boards...-oral-sex.html

Phony how things are,the one that gets it all the time complaints! He doesnt give me any oral sex and I really like it. I do tend to agree with some of you that this might be a deal breaker. Is not that I havent told him he knows, what is holding him back? your guess is good as mine.We suppose to get married but I stop doing any wedding preparations until this issue is resolved.

[nightqueen]

What if the genders were reversed? Most women agree that performing oral sex on a man is very tiring ... most women don't know how tiring performing oral sex on a woman is.
Lots of people have taboos about oral sex. If it's not something he's comfortable doing, you shouldn't pressure him into it. If it's a dealbreaker, it's a dealbreaker, but if you really love and respect him, you will respect his decision about oral sex.

I really disagree. Obviously he doesn't have a problem with oral since he lets her do it. He has a problem with giving oral. Not cool. If he gets it he should be willing to give it.