[Magnetism]

Hey hun,


Not every woman experiences gratification with penetration. Some people say it feels like peeing. Don't be so hard on yourself. If you don't mind me saying, your posts illustrate that you set up a mental block on how you will never be able to enjoy it. How do you feel about yourself as a whole? I do think our emotional/mental feelings strongly influence our ability to enjoy sex.

Have you seen a doctor yet or tried seeing a sex therapist? I know, it's even embarrassing for me to do it, but whatever it takes to take care of our health.



I just turned 26, and I was only able to experience painless penetration with a vibrator at 25. I started having intercourse at 18, and it was always painful...It took me YEARS to figure out how to not make it hurt. Don't give up.

[SadFrigidGirl]

"When it comes to sexual intercourse, I've never had a good experience with that, ever. It was all very technical. I'd just get undressed and lay down, and the guy would climb on top of me and get to thrusting until he orgasmed. The sex was usually so short that I don't even remember the details. Just that I'd lay there kinda spaced out, and never really felt apart of the act. I'd just be thinking in my head that I wish I could feel what he does. Because they'd be so into it."

Ummm, so you've never made love, you've just been a sort of tool? What about foreplay with a man? He should be slowly undressing you. Touching and arousing you.

Sounds like you may have an allergy or sensitivity to the lube.

Get that book!

No, I've never made love before. I did have an ex who used to go down on me, that was the only guy who did something to please me. But even with him, during intercourse I totally lost him. He'd just get to thrusting away, he'd get very frustrated when I told him to slow down or that it hurt. He just told me to take the pain.

Then there was another guy where the sex involved absolutely no foreplay of anything, he even claimed that he didn't like kissing. So none of that took place. I really liked him but he didn't like me back, I thought sex would make him like me. Anyway it was all very technical. When I saw him, I knew to get partially undressed and then he'd just do what he had to do. I thought when you had sex it would just automaticaly start feeling good,the moment you were penetrated.. I didn't know you needed foreplay and everything until I started googling online and learning more about sex.

Still, I don't have a lot of experience with sex. I've only done it a few times. I've never been in a real relationship where I always had the opportunity to have intercourse a lot, and try different things. And I've never had anyone really really like me before or have any deep feelings for me.

[SadFrigidGirl]

Hey hun,


Not every woman experiences gratification with penetration. Some people say it feels like peeing. Don't be so hard on yourself. If you don't mind me saying, your posts illustrate that you set up a mental block on how you will never be able to enjoy it. How do you feel about yourself as a whole? I do think our emotional/mental feelings strongly influence our ability to enjoy sex.

Have you seen a doctor yet or tried seeing a sex therapist? I know, it's even embarrassing for me to do it, but whatever it takes to take care of our health.



I just turned 26, and I was only able to experience painless penetration with a vibrator at 25. I started having intercourse at 18, and it was always painful...It took me YEARS to figure out how to not make it hurt. Don't give up.

I don't feel very good about myself at all. My self esteem is something I have been struggling with a lot, as well as depression (i've had suicidal thoughts). Often, I shy away from new relationships because I feel like I am not interesting enough or have anything to offer.

[Magnetism]

I don't feel very good about myself at all. My self esteem is something I have been struggling with a lot, as well as depression (i've had suicidal thoughts). Often, I shy away from new relationships because I feel like I am not interesting enough or have anything to offer.

I understand. If we don't love ourselves, then any sense of insecurity during sex can kill the mood or cause your vaginal muscles to tighten up? Please don't let your sexuality or your ability to enjoy penetration to define you. You're much more than that. A guy who likes you will not put you down or judge you for going through this.


Sex is an adventure. Nobody is born knowing everything. Even people with a lot of sexual experience learn things that they never knew before. We learn as we go along, and it's supposed to be fun.

[rcoreyus]

SadFrigidGirl: You need to find a much better class of man! He said "just take the pain!" What an A##H$#$

There are men out there who will make love to you, not F# you. Men who are more turned on by your pleasure than by their own.

I see things like your post and get depressed. Where are you women finding these guys?!?!?!??!

[SadFrigidGirl]

I don't know if I will ever find a man who will really love me. I'm not the type of girl men can fall in love with

[Magnetism]

SadFrigidGirl: You need to find a much better class of man! He said "just take the pain!" What an A##H$#$

There are men out there who will make love to you, not F# you. Men who are more turned on by your pleasure than by their own.

I see things like your post and get depressed. Where are you women finding these guys?!?!?!??!

I have to vouch that I had guys like that before too. My exes told me to take the pain, one put me down for being too tight, and yet he begged me to be his f*ck buddy. He also said that girls who complain about anal sex hurting are wimps....

[rcoreyus]

I don't know if I will ever find a man who will really love me. I'm not the type of girl men can fall in love with

Why not? Are you the type of girl who can fall in love with a man?

[Phoebee]

I have to vouch that I had guys like that before too. My exes told me to take the pain, one put me down for being too tight, and yet he begged me to be his f*ck buddy. He also said that girls who complain about anal sex hurting are wimps....

Not to bring up an old taboo topic again but a PERFECT reason for every woman to own a strapon and do HIM up the **** before he starts trying to do you. When he says it hurts or your going too fast tell him HE IS A WIMP!

;-)

[Magnetism]

Why not? Are you the type of girl who can fall in love with a man?

I think this might be case of "If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone else." I've been there, and it's true.


SadFrigidGirl-What don't you like about yourself and why do you think it's hard for a man to love you? You don't have to answer us, but it's good to ask yourself this question. If it's b/c penetration hurts, you don't need to let that define you. A lot of women go through this, and that doesn't make them less "lovable." There's more to us as people than our sexuality, and there's much more to love than sex as well.


Any man who does think that not being able to take it "hard and fast" makes me not worthy of love is NOT someone I want to be with in the first place.