[Trix]

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for as long as i can remember ive always been grossed out by the idea of giving head...
it was never a big deal before, but my latest boyfriend (who ive been with about 6 months and love very much, we're very close and lost our virginity to each other) really wants it, and occasionally we end up almost arguing about it.
i half want to do it to make him happy, but i cant get over my personal distaste.
i've never done it, it's just the idea that grosses me out, but yea...any advice?

[anonymouswhitefemale]

You need to learn to love the .

If you don't you can expect a lifetime of crappy sex and partners who will eventually look elsewhere for the fun/fulfillment that you will not be giving.

Advice on blowjobs around here is a little variable, however every woman who doesn't herself recieve oral is advised to dump the guy and move on.

Be prepared what this issue might do to your sex life if you don't change it.

[Guest]

Does he go south on you? If so ask him how he feels about what he does, if you haven't yet. This may help you with your distaste

It's natural for you to feel that way, and sure you want to make him happy. Have you told him that along with your debate?

You've only been together for 6 mos. Tell him you need time, after all you both just lost your virginity. I'm assuming your very young, under 21, so take your time and let him know you need that. Part of it is probably not just the distaste for it but the greater intimacy that might be needed, where there is no inhibitions about what you do together.

I'm not the best advise giver on this issue. I've had women that did not want to do it and I just accepted it, I honored their wishes without hurt to the relationship.

[Little]

You shouldn't do anything that you don't want to do.
But that comes with a stipulation: everyone deserves sexual happiness, and it seems your boyfriend is not happy without blow jobs. I think many men would be in his camp, though in my experience men who haven't had a good BJ yet don't mind going without.
Why do you think it's gross? Do you let him perform oral sex on you? Do you think sex in general is gross?
Examine your opinion of oral sex and understand why you have the opinions on it that you do. Have him wash up and then try it.
I love giving BJs. I would probably cry if a lover wouldn't let me do it. Then break up with him. It's so gratifying to watch my boyfriend squirm and grab the sheets! Look for the enjoyable factors in any sexual act.

[penguy]

First of all, I'm a guy, so you're getting my perspective from the opposite side of things, so to speak. Although I'm pretty sure we've all been where you are, regardless if it's giving head to a guy or gal.

Giving oral is an acquired taste (pardon the pun), but it can be much easier to learn to enjoy if you enlist your bf's help. Ask him to keep his pubic area neatly groomed, and ask him clean himself thoroughly right before you go down on him. Let him know that you're a bit squeamish about it, but that you want to overcome it because you enjoy his pleasure. Ask him to give you a warning before he cums so that he won't go off in your mouth (you can bring him off with your hands - he'll still love it!). And by the way, you don't have to use your mouth constantly. Start off using your mouth just a bit while stimulating him mainly with your hands.

Years ago when I first started giving oral to my (then) gf, it was all I could do to keep from throwing up. But did she ever love it! Pretty soon I was OK with it, and eventually I began to really enjoy it. Now it's at the point where I get really disappointed if she doesn't want me to do it!

So. Take it slow, recruit your bf to help you overcome your squeamishness, take pleasure from his, and get him to return the favour!

[Trix]

Yea, he'll go down on me occasionally. Most of the time he'd be about to do it but I'd stop him and bring him back up for kisses instead, cos it makes me feel really mean that he'll do it but I won't..
I'm not sure if a lack of intimacy is the problem, cos we are very intimate all the time...
Even though he assures me he's not going anywhere I keep getting worried he's gonna get sick of me not doing it and move onto someone who will...

[Trix]

Yea he's never had a blowjob, he just really wants it..
see i dont have a problem with sex in general, thats great, its just giving head thats the problem..

[WildChild]

Start with a shower? Then just work on examining and getting up close and personal with his penis. Wonderful body part, can do amazing things on its own and for you. Start with just kissing it and licking it and see how that goes. You can work into it slowly. Don't have time to go into a long thing, there are other posts here about it.

[KatieAnne]

Don't do anything you don't want to do! if you need time that is fine and he needs to respect your boundaries. if the idea of the actual oral sex is whats scaring you based on moral reasoning or what not (totally understandable btw) maybe you could try doing other things orally with out actually giving a blow jub (kissing, licking but not actually putting it in your mouth). Also remember you dont have to swallow (if you dont want to just make that very clear to him and have him tell you before he cums).

Also (sorry this is long lol) if your anxieties about it are coming from hygienic reasons just remember that in all honesty the mouth has more bacteria that the genitals of either gender lol

Don't feel pressured into anything, take your time and enjoy each other in creative ways

[rcoreyus]

While I agree you shouldn't do anything you don't want, be aware of the consequences. Some men really really like BJs and he may be unhappy if you don't.