Hiya. Sorry for what will probably seem to be a belated reply to your original post. I read your post carefully and think I can give you some advice from a male's perspective.
Most men, when they masturbate, apart from using very fast motions (up and down), apply very firm pressure - really firm pressure - and their hand becomes somewhat of a bench vice. Now, this can desensitise their penis (making it less sensitive), and they get used to that firm grip, requiring that same amount of pressure every time they want to cum quickly (as during masturbation).
When they penetrate a woman's vagina, her vagina won't be able to grip their penis with quite the same pressure (to put it mildly), so they will have less sensation (compared to masturbating) and will thus take longer to come.
This is particularly true of men that masturbate often or use a very firm grip during masturbation, or both. You wouldn't believe how violently most men grab and handle their tool when they masturbate - they're practically strangling it! Chances are you've witnessed a glimpse of this when he masturbates in front of you (e.g. if he wants to come close to an orgasm when he wants to squirt in your face or mouth, or whatever).
What your boyfriend could do, then, would be to wean himself off that hard grip when he masturbates and instead simulate penetrating a vagina - the real feel and sensation of thrusting inside a vagina. You could buy him a FleshLight or some other similar vagina-like masturbator, and have him masturbate with that exclusively. He'll find that it'll take him quite a long time to come when he uses that - e.g. half an hour as opposed to 3 minutes when using his hands. But if he sticks to it and uses the FleshLight each time he masturbates, his penis will get used to the lesser grip (of the vagina) and he'll get more sensitivity in his penis. He'll then take a lot less to cum during actual vaginal intercourse.
He should make sure using slower motions when using the FleshLight (roughly the same speed of thrusting he uses during actual intercourse).
Alternatively, and without such a device, he could use his hands with lots of lubricant, and go real slow and soft (no firm grip). That'll do the trick as well.
The main point is to get him to stop masturbating with a firm grip, and to use slower motions while doing it.
Another possible explanation: his mind may be preoccupied during sex (when he thrusts). Or he's just too focussed on trying to give you pleasure instead of enjoying himself when he's on top of you (or in any other position). It can sometimes be a liability for men to have to be dominant, to have to do all the work, to have to do all the thrusting and so on.
A good approach you could try is: have him use the FleshLight exclusively when he masturbates (no more iron grip with his hands), and have him do that for a month or so. His sensitivity in his penis will go WAY UP, and chances are he'll come that much faster when he's inside you.
You could buy him one as a gift and instruct him on how to use it (based on my post).
Also, try to help him unwind and relax before you get it on. Give him a sensual massage or something - anything to relax him. If his body and his muscles are tense, he'll have a harder time cumming. Would also help giving him some good eye-candy to get him really horny and lusting for you before you get it on. Surprise him with some sexy lingerie, talk dirty and make sexy sounds (soft moaning). Do it with feeling and real desire, and add some variety to the act of love making. After all, chances are he gets into it expecting that it'll once again take a long time for him to come, and that it'll be a lengthy and arduous exercise.
Remember that, while most men will be ready for action without much foreplay, foreplay and good stimulation will go a long way. Sex should involve all senses, not just his .
Yeat another thing, and I don't mean to offend (and am not suggesting this applies to you personally): penises and vaginas come in different sizes. If a man isn't well well endowed and has sex with a woman that has an above average size vagina, he'll feel less sensation - there'll be less grip. A way to improve this situation is for the woman to do Kegel exercises so she can grip the man's penis harder, giving him more sensation.
A last comment on masturbation: I think it doesn't matter how often he masturbates - that will not likely be the cause of the problem. Many men masturbate frequently; some do it every day, or even several times a day, and they're still horny and are still up for sex. So it's not frequency, but more likely the very firm grip he uses that causes the problem.
Well, this was a rather lengthy post. I don't claim to be an expert in sexual matters, but I hope you'll find this post from a male's perspective useful.
Good luck, and report back, letting us know how it all worked out. :-)
Most men, when they masturbate, apart from using very fast motions (up and down), apply very firm pressure - really firm pressure - and their hand becomes somewhat of a bench vice. Now, this can desensitise their penis (making it less sensitive), and they get used to that firm grip, requiring that same amount of pressure every time they want to cum quickly (as during masturbation).
When they penetrate a woman's vagina, her vagina won't be able to grip their penis with quite the same pressure (to put it mildly), so they will have less sensation (compared to masturbating) and will thus take longer to come.
This is particularly true of men that masturbate often or use a very firm grip during masturbation, or both. You wouldn't believe how violently most men grab and handle their tool when they masturbate - they're practically strangling it! Chances are you've witnessed a glimpse of this when he masturbates in front of you (e.g. if he wants to come close to an orgasm when he wants to squirt in your face or mouth, or whatever).
What your boyfriend could do, then, would be to wean himself off that hard grip when he masturbates and instead simulate penetrating a vagina - the real feel and sensation of thrusting inside a vagina. You could buy him a FleshLight or some other similar vagina-like masturbator, and have him masturbate with that exclusively. He'll find that it'll take him quite a long time to come when he uses that - e.g. half an hour as opposed to 3 minutes when using his hands. But if he sticks to it and uses the FleshLight each time he masturbates, his penis will get used to the lesser grip (of the vagina) and he'll get more sensitivity in his penis. He'll then take a lot less to cum during actual vaginal intercourse.
He should make sure using slower motions when using the FleshLight (roughly the same speed of thrusting he uses during actual intercourse).
Alternatively, and without such a device, he could use his hands with lots of lubricant, and go real slow and soft (no firm grip). That'll do the trick as well.
The main point is to get him to stop masturbating with a firm grip, and to use slower motions while doing it.
Another possible explanation: his mind may be preoccupied during sex (when he thrusts). Or he's just too focussed on trying to give you pleasure instead of enjoying himself when he's on top of you (or in any other position). It can sometimes be a liability for men to have to be dominant, to have to do all the work, to have to do all the thrusting and so on.
A good approach you could try is: have him use the FleshLight exclusively when he masturbates (no more iron grip with his hands), and have him do that for a month or so. His sensitivity in his penis will go WAY UP, and chances are he'll come that much faster when he's inside you.
You could buy him one as a gift and instruct him on how to use it (based on my post).
Also, try to help him unwind and relax before you get it on. Give him a sensual massage or something - anything to relax him. If his body and his muscles are tense, he'll have a harder time cumming. Would also help giving him some good eye-candy to get him really horny and lusting for you before you get it on. Surprise him with some sexy lingerie, talk dirty and make sexy sounds (soft moaning). Do it with feeling and real desire, and add some variety to the act of love making. After all, chances are he gets into it expecting that it'll once again take a long time for him to come, and that it'll be a lengthy and arduous exercise.
Remember that, while most men will be ready for action without much foreplay, foreplay and good stimulation will go a long way. Sex should involve all senses, not just his .
Yeat another thing, and I don't mean to offend (and am not suggesting this applies to you personally): penises and vaginas come in different sizes. If a man isn't well well endowed and has sex with a woman that has an above average size vagina, he'll feel less sensation - there'll be less grip. A way to improve this situation is for the woman to do Kegel exercises so she can grip the man's penis harder, giving him more sensation.
A last comment on masturbation: I think it doesn't matter how often he masturbates - that will not likely be the cause of the problem. Many men masturbate frequently; some do it every day, or even several times a day, and they're still horny and are still up for sex. So it's not frequency, but more likely the very firm grip he uses that causes the problem.
Well, this was a rather lengthy post. I don't claim to be an expert in sexual matters, but I hope you'll find this post from a male's perspective useful.
Good luck, and report back, letting us know how it all worked out. :-)
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