[deya6981]

Not alone indeed... I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me because I want sex a lot. We have tried the open relationship, we both know it's just about the sex. BUT I sometimes feel that he wants somebody else to do his job which is fine until gets to the point that you don't want somebody else for that job but him. It's a very frustrating issue where you just try to hang in there.p

[Needahand]

Am I stuck?

What an interesting thread this has been. At least the parts I have read.

I don't mean to divert the forum to my own dilemma, but I could use some female advice. Am a 40 yr old male and am sexually frustrated to tears. To make me feel even worse, the frequency isn't even that bad (due to previous compromise), but variety and passion are painfully lacking...i feel like I am out of options.

Am I just an unreasonable or unrealistic pain in the backside, or has anyone got a frsh perspective? Would love to hear from the ladies...

[stepmom13]

im in 3 now married now 16 years and i've been sick for the last 2 years, i still made time for intimacy when he wanted it, no matter that i couldnt have an O. Resentment is the right word. i feel cheap when he wants a quickie, last time i nearly threw up cause i felt used. i cant bring myself to cheat. but i am sincerely finding my strength and health back. Working 2 jobs now to pay off hospital bills and avoiding the dulldrum in the bedroom as it is just used to sleep. dont get me wrong i miss kissing, touching and i still want sex. but i find him to selfish to have that intimacy to enjoy it. i would rather masturbate then go to him, unfortunately at the moment i am involuntarily celibant. but i wont let him take whats left of my pride. cheating hurts its the cowards way out. in time when finances are better we will get divorced. but it will be well worth the wait, when i can find the right person. small sacrifices are worth making if, in return the reward is greater.

[Texasred]

What an interesting thread this has been. At least the parts I have read.

I don't mean to divert the forum to my own dilemma, but I could use some female advice. Am a 40 yr old male and am sexually frustrated to tears. To make me feel even worse, the frequency isn't even that bad (due to previous compromise), but variety and passion are painfully lacking...i feel like I am out of options.

Am I just an unreasonable or unrealistic pain in the backside, or has anyone got a frsh perspective? Would love to hear from the ladies...

You should consider starting a new thread; this (very old) one was devoted primarily to a lack of frequent intimacy, where your issue seems (?) to be more one of variety.
This thread could probably be closed - but the content is fascinating to re-read!

[mrsbutterfly]

me too

I am feeling your pain. I hate feeling bad about myself and questioning my own desirability. I know that it isn't me but I still end up feeling bad. Sometime talking about just seems to make him frustrated, like " not this talk again" but I love him and our life together.

[bubba29]

i used to be a sexually frustrated husband. i read a book to address this. basically what i learned is that i had to step my game up a lot. i had to stop assuming that my why should have sex with me just because we were married and i happened to ask. i had to become more attractive to the opposite sex. i had to increase my "sex rank". there are many ways to do this. it can be appearance, scent, psychological, emotional, and how i participate as a parent. basically i did as much as i could to be in a position to CONSTANTLY be turning women on.....especially my wife.

it has worked very well. our sex frequency has increased dramatically. other women are noticing me. this makes my wife a bit jealous. the fact that i am desireable to other women makes her desire me more. bottom line is just because 2 people are married doesn't mean they stop working to attract each other.

[Stillness]

i had to become more attractive to the opposite sex. i had to increase my "sex rank". there are many ways to do this. it can be appearance, scent, psychological, emotional, and how i participate as a parent. basically i did as much as i could to be in a position to CONSTANTLY be turning women on.....especially my wife.

Sounds interesting. How did you do this, bubba29?

[bubba29]

Sounds interesting. How did you do this, bubba29?

first of all, the book i read is called "married man sex life". i improved myself in many ways.

1) i became more conscious of my appearance and constantly work to look good. how i dress, grooming, and looking good naked. women like broad shoulders and a nice butt. i am always weight training with those areas in mind. i believe i have become a more visually attractive person.

2) i have tried to be more assertive as a husband and father. women like men who take charge and run the show. they want strong men. not someone who is wishy washy and stays behind the scenes.

3) i have become more helpful around the house. i call it "choreplay". this gives my wife more time and also makes her appreciate me more.

4) i have become a more active father and the result is the same as #3.

5) i have learned to communicate in a more smooth and seductive way. i am always trying to drop comments and texts that keeps her sexual desire for me high.

6) i try to do things together that are exciting and different than our basic, expected routine. this brings partners closer.

7) i try to be thoughtful, romantic and complimentary as much as possible.

bottom line is, just because we are married doesn't mean we stop trying to attract and seduce our partner. she is still a women that needs to be approached in a way that will increase the chances of getting her in bed. also, all these improvements have strengthened our relationship and it has also caused her to up her game a bit. she fears i might be becoming a more desireable person than her.

[Harmony]

Stillness, I have. Good ebook with information similar to the above. PM ME YOUR EMAIL an I'll Send it.
On tablet

[bubba29]

Stillness, I have. Good ebook with information similar to the above. PM ME YOUR EMAIL an I'll Send it.
On tablet

care to share with me?