[ItsASecret]

Oh please i never ever talk to her like that. Im just saying it like it is. You wanna believe that men have sex cuz theyre in love ur nuts. They have sex cuz they are horny. Evolution programs us to wanna spread our seed as much as possible. Since we dont wanna spread our seed we use protection now and we just try to have as much sex as possible. Women have a different evolotionary goal which im not gonna go into but its obviosuly different from a guys. I would never talk like this to her tho. I am very sweet with her. But when she goes nuts and throws fits at me calmly askig her why she never wants sex, wouldnt u b thinking this stuff if ur head if u were me? But please there is no guy that has sex out of love. Sure sex is great with soemone u love, its better than some random hookup but lets not fool ourselves here. We get horny and we get our rocks off. You think otherwise ur very naeve. my gf turns me on and i love her and then i wanna have sex with her. Take away the love part i still would wanna have sex with her. I like women im attracted to them and i have hormones and good sex drive cuz im young so i wanna do stuff with women. Thats how it is.

Just curious, but did you happen to adopt this attitude of man = horny = sex from a program called MTV?

[dude123]

Just curious, but did you happen to adopt this attitude of man = horny = sex from a program called MTV?

No i adopted it from my penis getting hard when i see a hot girl. I think girls r hot sometimes and i would love to sleep with them and im not in love with them. I wouldnt cheat on my gf just saying.

[WildChild]

No i adopted it from my penis getting hard when i see a hot girl. I think girls r hot sometimes and i would love to sleep with them and im not in love with them. I wouldnt cheat on my gf just saying.

Men aren't the only ones who get really horny and want sex dear. It's a Human need and part of Human behavior. For a very long time culture and religion have taught us that "good" women shouldn't want it. But in reality, unless something is off emotionally or physically, women do. I haven't met a man yet who could out last me sexually and have found quite a few who don't have half the interest or drive they may pretend to in front of other men.

You need to get over thinking of sex interest as a more male thing. It needs to be about Both of you. I know you are trying to arouse her and raise her interest but your reports of her crying jags indicate there is some thing else going on here. It may be based in her past, it maybe based in social or religous conditioning (guilt) or it could be something that has happen between you (you may not even be aware of). If at all possible, it would be a really good idea for the two of you to get into counseling. She should have some on her own - it does seem there may be some sort of trauma she needs to sort out.

[dude123]

Men aren't the only ones who get really horny and want sex dear. It's a Human need and part of Human behavior. For a very long time culture and religion have taught us that "good" women shouldn't want it. But in reality, unless something is off emotionally or physically, women do. I haven't met a man yet who could out last me sexually and have found quite a few who don't have half the interest or drive they may pretend to in front of other men.

You need to get over thinking of sex interest as a more male thing. It needs to be about Both of you. I know you are trying to arouse her and raise her interest but your reports of her crying jags indicate there is some thing else going on here. It may be based in her past, it maybe based in social or religous conditioning (guilt) or it could be something that has happen between you (you may not even be aware of). If at all possible, it would be a really good idea for the two of you to get into counseling. She should have some on her own - it does seem there may be some sort of trauma she needs to sort out.

She refuses to acknowledge there is even a lack of sex. When i tell her wat r u talkin about we havent had sex more than once a week in months and u havent initiated in 4 or 5 months its always me, she just denies it. She completelty denies it and says she does initiate and does like sex with me. Its so frustrating, wat does that mean??? I know she doesnt initiate and so does she, why is she saying she does it is so bizzare and so frustrating i end up having to agree with her just so she stops sobbing. After the last fight we had about it (i only call it a fight cuz she imemdiately throws a fit) she did her usual thing where she actually does have sex with me more than once. We did it 3 times that week and she initiated once. After we did it we were both saying how good it was and she goes "see i inititated that time" She said it with a smile in a lighthearted way, but it ****ed me off so much. I didnt say anything cuz its futile for me to even say anything. I dont want her to think of it as some obligation to intitate sex with me and then tell me "look i initiated this time" Thats so messed up i want her to want it doesnt she get it. She just is indifferent to any sexual activity with me.

[dude123]

Men aren't the only ones who get really horny and want sex dear. It's a Human need and part of Human behavior. For a very long time culture and religion have taught us that "good" women shouldn't want it. But in reality, unless something is off emotionally or physically, women do. I haven't met a man yet who could out last me sexually and have found quite a few who don't have half the interest or drive they may pretend to in front of other men.

You need to get over thinking of sex interest as a more male thing. It needs to be about Both of you. I know you are trying to arouse her and raise her interest but your reports of her crying jags indicate there is some thing else going on here. It may be based in her past, it maybe based in social or religous conditioning (guilt) or it could be something that has happen between you (you may not even be aware of). If at all possible, it would be a really good idea for the two of you to get into counseling. She should have some on her own - it does seem there may be some sort of trauma she needs to sort out.

I know women get horny too i just got annoyed at the previous posters comments cuz its really not liek that at all. We have a good relationship and im not some macho guy that says stuff like that to her. It just makes me upset that she doesnt want it. Its like shes repulsed by me or soemthing. It wasnt liek that before in fact it was the oppsoite, sometimes id be sore from her initiating so much, in my head id be like "wow again". Now she wont even touch me. I seriosuly cant remeber the last time she touched a body part of mine during sex. She tocuhes wat has to be tocuhed to have sex, her hands r like still or on her sides. She uysed to touch me all over. I jsut dotn get it. How does one go from a girl who loves sex to a prude. Yet she is always dying to see me and loves me so much she says.

[WildChild]

Part of your problem may be a matter of interpretation. What does she consider to be initiating?
She may be so subtle in it that you aren't seeing it?

[dude123]

Part of your problem may be a matter of interpretation. What does she consider to be initiating?
She may be so subtle in it that you aren't seeing it?

Well thats wat she says, she called me mr. oblivious. But its complete bs, cuz she was never subtle she was one horny chick the first yr we went out. Shed wanna do it in the car, in a public place once late at night, in her parents bathroom with them a few rooms over etc etc. She was not subtle then. She'd just get close tome and start kissing me and or touching me in a sexy way. What did she jsut forget how to get me to have sex with her all of a sudden? I am always willing and always paying attention, believe me if she wanted it she'd get it. I have no doubt whatsoever. I sincerely doubt that she became shy with me after 3 yrs, when she wasnt shy at all. It wasnt just the early on crazy sex like most couples have, she was like this the whole first yr maybe even 15 months. All of sudden it dropped a lil and a lil more and then i always though itd get better but it hasn't. I hear guys say that girls pull the bait and switch all the time. I think maybe its true, maybe she was just doin it cuz she liekd me so much and thought she had to to keep me around, but now what motivation does she have? She knwos she has me. Either that or its my other theory that she just likes great sex and since im not giving it to her hs eis indifferent to it. Like i make her cum but i dont do it for her cuz i always gotta start and stop so i dont cum too soon.

[WildChild]

Let me tell you guys pull the bait and switch too. They go from being kissy, huggy, affectionate with lots of foreplay, to none. It's just wham,bam, sometimes not even a thank you mam'. People can be a pain. In many (most) cases it's not entirely conscious.
Did this change happen after you started living together?
Buried in her mind she may have a program running that says when you married/living together, the woman backs off, sex slows down. YOU can't change that thinking, only she can. All you can do is be the catalyst. The tears and drama concern me. That sounds like an over the top response, that is why I think some counseling is in order.

In the meantime you might want to read the famous Men Are From Mars Women are From Venus.

[dude123]

Let me tell you guys pull the bait and switch too. They go from being kissy, huggy, affectionate with lots of foreplay, to none. It's just wham,bam, sometimes not even a thank you mam'. People can be a pain. In many (most) cases it's not entirely conscious.
Did this change happen after you started living together?
Buried in her mind she may have a program running that says when you married/living together, the woman backs off, sex slows down. YOU can't change that thinking, only she can. All you can do is be the catalyst. The tears and drama concern me. That sounds like an over the top response, that is why I think some counseling is in order.

In the meantime you might want to read the famous Men Are From Mars Women are From Venus.

Fair enough but let me counter with this. Men start to become like that when women stop putting out. You can't sell us a cadillac and turn into a Kia. Men r so simple, all u people gotta do is keep the sex going at a reasonable amount and treat us with respect and thats all ya need to do. I'll tell u right now i was still doin all the sweet boyfriend stuff until enough time passed and started to realize she doesnt even have sex with me. Men get resentful when sex is taken away i dont think women realize it. Its not just the horniness although that is a big part. It's also that it makes us feel unwanted that our girls dont wanna have sex with us especially when it didnt used ot b like that. If she cant do that one simple thing why should i b mr. wonderful where is her effort? I still do nice things and show some affection but not as much as i would and lately im just really resentful and it makes me not wanna do anything nice. Every time i do i still get no sex. Its not that im doin it just for the sex, but shouldnt io still b getting sex?

[pretzel]

Part of your problem may be a matter of interpretation. What does she consider to be initiating?
She may be so subtle in it that you aren't seeing it?

Part of it may be interpretation.

The other part is attitude.

dude123 needs to reread his posts.