[sadintheburbs]

try the fact he has a temper and uses the silent treatment as well

after 31 years of marriage, 70% of me is out the door...I have caught him (he doesnt know it) but I have seen him from another room through a crack in the door, looking at the computer wacking off...after those 3 times, I have to say, its a major turn off (this was about 8 or 10 years ago)..
He quickly pulled his pants up when I got closer to the room.
Top it off with he has a temper and uses the silent treatment when unhappy with me.
He is RETIRED now, has no friends and says the other day "I need to invest more in the marriage"...
he is also getting fatter (which he blames me on) says I need to cook for him not bring home fast food..
want me to go on?
his temper has pushed me away steadily for all this time to the point now I have to pretend to really really like him.
I love him but to be frank, this behavior pattern turned me off to him..
so there you go!

[sadintheburbs]

oh yea? get aload of this (sorry for the pun)

I dont like it either

[jns]

after 31 years of marriage, 70% of me is out the door...I have caught him (he doesnt know it) but I have seen him from another room through a crack in the door, looking at the computer wacking off...after those 3 times, I have to say, its a major turn off (this was about 8 or 10 years ago)..
He quickly pulled his pants up when I got closer to the room.
Top it off with he has a temper and uses the silent treatment when unhappy with me.
He is RETIRED now, has no friends and says the other day "I need to invest more in the marriage"...
he is also getting fatter (which he blames me on) says I need to cook for him not bring home fast food..
want me to go on?
his temper has pushed me away steadily for all this time to the point now I have to pretend to really really like him.
I love him but to be frank, this behavior pattern turned me off to him..
so there you go!

Since only 30% of you is in this marriage, why haven't you left. A marriage isn't going to be good with only 30% participation.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

after 31 years of marriage, 70% of me is out the door...I have caught him (he doesnt know it) but I have seen him from another room through a crack in the door, looking at the computer wacking off...after those 3 times, I have to say, its a major turn off (this was about 8 or 10 years ago)..
He quickly pulled his pants up when I got closer to the room.
Top it off with he has a temper and uses the silent treatment when unhappy with me.
He is RETIRED now, has no friends and says the other day "I need to invest more in the marriage"...
he is also getting fatter (which he blames me on) says I need to cook for him not bring home fast food..
want me to go on?
his temper has pushed me away steadily for all this time to the point now I have to pretend to really really like him.
I love him but to be frank, this behavior pattern turned me off to him..
so there you go!

You are talking about 8-10 years ago sadintheburbs....that you caught him doing that and if that was a major turn off, and he doesn't know you caught him way back then, then, you've been distant from him for those years and instead of communicating your thoughts, you kept it to yourself....

I can imagine you've done exactly that, given 30% ever since, to your marriage, chucked food on the table, not wanting to cook, not having sex, etc, etc...

So, you know fast food is fatenning...a temper is sometimes bought about from someone not getting attention on-going and not being heard...

Now is your chance to have 100% he is willing, he says he wants to invest more in the marriage....

Why not forget the past ..... maybe he was curious his mates talked about doing it and so he tried? Who knows....

It is not fair to hold something against someone when they have no idea why.....and for that many years.

[Texasred]

...She gets home at 6 am tomorrow and wants to talk more about it and it's making me nervous.

We have a saying here in Texas that applies perfectly in this case: "Man up."

[Texasred]

Excuse me for posting on a really old thread.