[housewife]

I came from a different culture, but what I see here in the west , that if a wife is not in the mood of having sex, she would reject her husband.

Just a question , why would a woman who loves her husband do that?
Isn't she supposed to satisfy him? even when she is not is not in the mood.

[Guest]

she doesnt have to satisfy her husband all the time and it shouldnt only be satisfying for him but also for her. it akes two to tango. no matter how much you love your husband you can show in other ways that you love him.

[tabbycat]

Well, most women of mainstream western culture believe that sex is something to be enjoyed by both parties. In my marriage, it's just a matter of courtesy: I don't want my husband to feel pressured to give me sex when he's too tired or doesn't have time, and he gives me the same consideration. Now, that doesn't mean I turn him down if I'm even remotely otherwise occupied or just don't really feel like it: you're right, I DO want to make him happy

Too often, I hear sex portrayed as a sort of duty, something you do to keep your husband happy (or your wife happy!) whether you like it or not. There's so much talk about what you're 'required' to do. I think of it more like a shared enjoyment, like going on a special date: I absolutely want to do special things for my husband, take him to his favorite restaurants, make him feel like he's first in my life. At the same time though, neither of us would want to go out on a date just to make ONE of us happy if the other one has to be miserable--it's just no fun, for either of us, and completely defeats the purpose of the date.

Sex isn't just about physical pleasure (even though that's a big part of it). It's an intimate expression of your love for each other, and love is a gift to be given freely, not something you should feel 'duty-bound' to put out. I (nor my husband) would treat a friend that way, demanding that they give us attention, so it seems only right that we should treat our BEST friend with at least that much courtesy.

I don't mean to suggest that this is the only way to think about sex--I know other cultures have very different systems, and still have perfectly happy, loving marriages! I just hope this answers your question about why a loving wife might say 'no'.

[housewife]

Thanks Tabbycat

that was clear for me,
but the problem in a marriage that it is almost impossible to be both in the mood for sex at the same time.
at that point, if men have the urge for sex, it is hard for them to not have it,
it I think it is for us much easier than for them,
especially in conservative cultures like mine where they can't pleasure themselves by other methods.
so at that point it becomes a duty for a wife to satisfy him, there is no where else to go.
In my opinion rejecting your husband , even in a very lovely way and he seems understanding to you that would affect the relationship.
he will really appreciate it if she agrees to wake up at 3 a.m to have sex with him with a good attitude.

[commonsense]

wife "no" to sex

A woman should always try to satisfy her husband and vice versa. If one of them is sick, of course they should abstain. Otherwise, both should always be considerate of the other's needs to avoid one from feeling unwanted and unloved regardless of the cultural background. This is a "love" thing. Should not feel like an obligation but an "I want to".

I came from a different culture, but what I see here in the west , that if a wife is not in the mood of having sex, she would reject her husband.

Just a question , why would a woman who loves her husband do that?

Isn't she supposed to satisfy him? even when she is not is not in the mood.

[dawn9800]

I was just curious you dont have to answer but whats your culture? Like where are you from and what religion? Sorry if Im being too nosey Im always nosey its a disease!! !

[kaylar]

I never saw it like that. I never believed I had to please him.
And I don't think in his wildest delusions he would believe that.

What am I? A pleasure unit?

[amom]

I think it is for us much easier than for them,
especially in conservative cultures like mine where they can't pleasure themselves by other methods.
so at that point it becomes a duty for a wife to satisfy him, there is no where else to go.

..."can't pleasure themselves by other methods" ..what does that mean exactly ?? They cannot masturbate?

[kaylar]

Aren't you glad we live in this side of the world
where we are actually, gasp, full people?

[housewife]

NO

..."can't pleasure themselves by other methods" ..what does that mean exactly ?? They cannot ?

NO, masturbation is an acceptable act for both women and men.