[CHANDLERS WISH]

Pointing out facts so that you may be able to understand those facts is not attacking

Also, remember you wrote "after" things that you are aware of with women, not in the previous post, I would have said WTF? Seriously? Myself due to the fact you are not 19... So you know... Think before you type, read before you react...

It may pay you to gain some women "friends" and gossip with them.. And, in addition read women's magazines, seriously.

Un-fortunately (not all) but the younger girls and whilst you are what 29? You may be seeking even younger ladies, and those ladies like to follow trend... Weddings are different, women like to look special it's a wedding... They may get false eyelashes, or hair extentions for the day, lord I thought of it myself as a future bride to be But having said that ultimately, I don't wear much make-up anymore, I prefer more natural.

Age does that..

[Hopeless Dork]

my point is just... your idea of a 10, you have to take the time to realize that 10 isn't a 10 all day long, every day of the week. In order to lose some of the self described 'delusional' notions, its best to quit grading and rather seek out females you are attracted to, and realize that they don't have to be maxim shoot ready. If you really do start realizing the smoke and mirrors that is 'perfection'... you can appreciate beauty at various levels of your grading curve.

[acerousme]

Whoa now...play nicely boys and girls.
Nobody is attacking anyone. Now, as this conversation is still within the rules, Im not going to edit this. But Im only going to give one warning. Then you'll get infractions.

And not all women have fake boobs, hair, nails, eyelashes, etc...I dont have any of those

[a_dub]

Gotcha. Understood.

[ItsASecret]

Jeez, I don't understand why you have to attack me so personally.

I apologize if you thought it was attacking, I am not trying to attack you. I am simply stating my opinion by what you have described, and those descriptions collectively make it difficult to respond without mentioning things like editing and that the women you meet are not under so much editing. Your previous comments about wanting this and that about a woman does make it difficult to have readers respond without commenting on how things simply are not the way you may have previously envisioned. It can be a gut reaction for any women when a man says things like "well she has to be hot for me to want her", well women are going to inevitably say that appearance is not everything. That is not anger or attacking on her part but it is commenting on the reaction of what he says. As others have said, including myself, you can have your dreams and wants and such but there is a limit to those dreams and that is what you have infront of you. That ideal woman for your lifeplan is out there for you, that within the 3.5 billion women odds you gave are still an incredibly high number when you think about it. There are plenty of women out there for you, you just need to open up more.

[a_dub]

Btw, there are plenty of "normal" girls who are 7s and 8s...less 9s and hardly any 10s, but I'm not even looking for that.

[a_dub]

Jeez, I don't understand why you have to attack me so personally. Nevermind, I do understand, I'm just pretending not too while I smirk as I type this out. Sorry, had to say it.

OK, so I have a problem. I don't see why I have to be villified for it. Are you gonna make fun of me and my premature ejaculation too? How about kids who have Down Syndrome? Now thats a laugh and a half, right? I don't see why you're so angry at me...I never shot you down. If you have a BF who is not like me, rejoice, but you don't have to try and rag on me.

I'm sorry. I really am. I'm going to try to change, and I appreciate the insights you've provided. You don't have to believe me, but I ain't lying.

Btw, yes I know women have fake boobs and fake nails, and use makeup. But I didn't know they use like fake eyelashes and fake hair ALL the time!

[ItsASecret]

I am more interested in the "everyday" girls.

As of your current state of affairs you are not, you are wanting to avoid the "everyday" girls because they are normal, they have flaws in your eyes, they are not 7,8,9,10's that you so desire. Normal girls are not 7,8,9,10's, those are the abnormal girls in the sense that they are not as common hence abnormal. Normal girls are the ones you deny.

I had no idea women use all that fake stuff on a regular basis.

No idea? I do not buy that. If you are man you know women wear make up for example, that is 'fake' in the sense that she is not being natural. She is covering her face to project something she defines as beautiful. Same applies to tanning, guys know girls fake tan, guys know girls get fake nails, guys definitely know girls get fake boobs. There is no way a guy can be completely oblivious or unaware that the image of their idea of 'perfection' is really a creation of several cover up effects at the spa to create an image. All a guy has to know is that a woman does something like get a fake set of nails at the spa to know that they are not looking at a woman at face value, that is not how she is naturally they are seeing a girl with an addition of something fake.

What if female beauty as I know it, doesn't exist? I can't breathe...hold up. Wow. I am really going to have to recreate my whole mindset!

Yeah I do not buy this either. You are acting like everything is "wow omg I had noooooo idea" while you may really be smirking while you type it out. I believe you are still going to be stuck on your photoshop image because that is still what you want to be true, but again wish all you want it still is not going to be true. If you are wanting to change your mindset you need to begin from base level, acceptance that photo effects are no more than an allusion to an unattainable fantasy world and such focus has ended up in you denying any good girl you may have honestly met since she is not the media portrayal that you may feel entitled to. Ever see the porn princess Holly Madison of the playboy covers without her makeup? You have surely seen her with it on the cover under all the editing, well Google that princess "Holly Madison no makeup" and look at those pictures. See the real Holly because that is the real Holly, real Holly has puffy eyes, blemishes and fair (not tanned) skin. Try that kind of Google search on any model and see how they really look without all the photo touch-ups. They are still pretty girls but they are not dolled up and edited girls in the way that you so desire.

[a_dub]

I agree with secret above, all those internet fantasies you've been buying (mentally), the women don't look as good as they are portrayed... that hot chick at the club -- kim k types -- give her a month without her tanning bed, take out her hair extensions, take off those false lashes, take out the implants/take off the push up bra, remove the spanks, lipstick, 4 layers of make up foundation, remove the flattering lighting and undo the airbrushing and you've got that average chck you just saw at the store and thought pfffft she's a 5.

I had no idea women use all that fake stuff on a regular basis. I only found out recently about hair extentions from a friend of mine who used it at a wedding. I have no clue why since her hair is pretty nice to begin with. But jeez...I feel just like a kid who's finding out that Santa and the Easter Bunny don't really exist.

What if female beauty as I know it, doesn't exist? I can't breathe...hold up. Wow. I am really going to have to recreate my whole mindset!

[Hopeless Dork]

I don't think there is anything inherently wrong (as far as it being hurting to any other human besides himself obviously) with a dub's current choice of lifestyle. If you prefer to look at a picture of angelina jolie (or whoever else) as opposed to being with a woman that is 'less than her' in your eyes... nothing wrong with that as long as you are single. I've dubbed it 'pornosexual' and I mean that with NO offense... just a type of man that prefers fantasy to reality -- and there aint nothing wrong with that.

It would only be a poor decision to enter into a relationship while being so heavily in that frame of mind. It would only serve to provide both partners with an unfullfilling situation.

Not making fun of you, just trying to wrap my head around the notion of make believe versus reality in that greater sense to the point its robbing a person of quality of life.

I love fancy shoes, i suppose I could go barefoot til I can afford the fanciest brand out there... I could watch shoe commercials and dream... I could use a red marker and paint my soles and dance around the living room pretending they are LB's... and it isn't hurting anyone right? But it probably wouldnt be all that emotionally satisfying either.

Nothing wrong with having standards. Nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone you are attracted to. That is human. Whats troubling is when you set your standards and base your attractions in an unnattainable realm - you set yourself up for failure.

You don't want to settle for less than an 8, but what you've yet to realize is all that numbering, all that okay her hairs a 10 her buts a 9 her feet are 7 her nose is a 6 junk doesn't do anything but give you an excuse not to entertain the idea of being with someone in real life.

It's almost like a defense mechanism. Like I wont talk to her because she isn't perfect, but I won't talk to her because she is perfect and won't be in to me, let me go back inside under a rock.

Instead, why not try STOPPING rating girls and rather pay attention to the ones that catch your eye, don't size them up for a way to discount them (or yourself)

I agree with secret above, all those internet fantasies you've been buying (mentally), the women don't look as good as they are portrayed... that hot chick at the club -- kim k types -- give her a month without her tanning bed, take out her hair extensions, take off those false lashes, take out the implants/take off the push up bra, remove the spanks, lipstick, 4 layers of make up foundation, remove the flattering lighting and undo the airbrushing and you've got that average chck you just saw at the store and thought pfffft she's a 5.

Most average girls have the potential to be georgous under the right conditions... but girls that are hideous on the inside (men as well) have very little potential to be good people you'd want to spend time around.