[jns]

taviera, you have taken the first step. You and your bf are sexually incompatible. As the one who wants sex the least, he is in control of the sex in your relationship. Do not let this make you doubt your worth as a person. It will undoubtedly hard to start over, but if you want to be happy, you must.

[gp1983]

I'm one of them

I am one of these guys and I haven't found a solution yet (I'm almost 30 years old). All the relationship I've had never lasted more than few months because I think that if sex doesn't work then there is no reason for the relationship to exist. I've been with prostitutes but it all came down that they were all fantasies. I've been with transexual prostitutes, same result. I think there has to be an intense and strong connection with the person that i'm having sex with otherwise it's just an physical exercise.
I've met girls that really blown me away but I was so afraid that eventually sex wouldn't work that I let them go, even though I knew they were interested in me. I was afraid that they wouldn't understand me but because I like them so much their opinion would've killed me.

I'm sorry for my english but it's not my native language.

GP

[derrington12]

I am also "one of these guys". I find with sex, I of course have a responsibility to satisfy or at the very least gratify my partner. This is admittedly being selfish, but I am talking about what I prefer and personal preferences are a selfish thing I think is fair to say...

With sex I feel a duty to perform, half the time I'm too tired for sex and not in the mood but I still feel I have to in order to make her feel wanted (which has led to arguments), which makes it hard to get "in the mood" . And if its not happening then I feel pressured to perform and then I end up just having sex to keep partner happy.

As other men have said generally speaking (I know some will dispute this) but generally men do all or at least most of the work. Masturbation, you can just switch of and relax, be selfish, take your time to build up to the most awesome orgasm, far better orgasms than with sex. Like quiveringly moaningly good, instead of the usual 'Id better perform well enough, hope shes enjoying preoccupied orgasm that sex offers.

This is not to say I dont care if she enjoys it, of course I do. Do I mind that I do all the work, not really no infact prefer it that way I think if Im honest. Sex certainly has its place and I wouldnt like to have to go without it for the rest of my life.

I get the feeling from some women's comments on here that they almost recent the fact that some men prefer masturbation. I think that's strange and I dont really know why. Infact it has often been joked about that women dont need men and that a di**do is better, I dont think men get worked up about that. I have my theories as to why but Ill keep them to myself until Im certain Im right.

It is what it is..... would you prefer your partner lie to you and just tell you what you want to hear? As for women OR MEN for that matter who try to stop their parter masturbating and get jealous etc I think that is ridiculous.

I think its the ability to almost totally switch off whilst masturbating and go into a world of your own that makes it soo amazing.

[Trixareforkids]

I am also "one of these guys". I find with sex, I of course have a responsibility to satisfy or at the very least gratify my partner. This is admittedly being selfish, but I am talking about what I prefer and personal preferences are a selfish thing I think is fair to say...

With sex I feel a duty to perform, half the time I'm too tired for sex and not in the mood but I still feel I have to in order to make her feel wanted (which has led to arguments), which makes it hard to get "in the mood" . And if its not happening then I feel pressured to perform and then I end up just having sex to keep partner happy.

As other men have said generally speaking (I know some will dispute this) but generally men do all or at least most of the work. Masturbation, you can just switch of and relax, be selfish, take your time to build up to the most awesome orgasm, far better orgasms than with sex. Like quiveringly moaningly good, instead of the usual 'Id better perform well enough, hope shes enjoying preoccupied orgasm that sex offers.

This is not to say I dont care if she enjoys it, of course I do. Do I mind that I do all the work, not really no infact prefer it that way I think if Im honest. Sex certainly has its place and I wouldnt like to have to go without it for the rest of my life.

I get the feeling from some women's comments on here that they almost recent the fact that some men prefer masturbation. I think that's strange and I dont really know why. Infact it has often been joked about that women dont need men and that a di****do is better, I dont think men get worked up about that. I have my theories as to why but Ill keep them to myself until Im certain Im right.

It is what it is..... would you prefer your partner lie to you and just tell you what you want to hear? As for women OR MEN for that matter who try to stop their parter masturbating and get jealous etc I think that is ridiculous.

I think its the ability to almost totally switch off whilst masturbating and go into a world of your own that makes it soo amazing.

Sounds to me like you need your partner to cowgirl up more often! A blindfold, some headphones and just enjoy.

[Motorguy]

I would say only time I am masturbating is with my wife with me as she will do it together. But we don't finish off with that but will move into sex feels so much better the orgasm is far more intense lol.

[jen1447]

I don't mean to be judgmental, and I'm personally a big fan of masturbation myself so I'm no anti-crusader, but - I've never once had a partner (male or female) who maintained that masturbation was better after having real partnered sex. Zero times. That makes me tend to think that people who feel this way are really missing out on something ...disconnect due to the wrong partner or whatever the case may be but whatever it is, I suspect it's basically an uninformed opinion. Not saying you're not entitled to that opinion anyway and that it's possible you're an exception to the rule

[effy2014]

If masterbation is better because of performance anxiety or selfishness (que the song Nobody Does It Better), then you need to focus on building relationship skills. A loving partner, one who wants you for who you are and not just for your lovemaking prowess, will help you through the anxiety. A loving and giving partner should also awaken your own giving spirit and you will be eager to please your partner. It's really not a chore. The only times I have found masterbation more pleasurable is when I've been with the wrong woman.