[WildChild]

I have been saying essentially what Wannabee's first point is, over and over and over. The man has literally said to me, things like, "I love my penis, I'm connected to my penis". I enjoy the heck out of it when he is willing to share it, but the sooner men grasp that they are not their penis, the better. It should not be their alter ego.

A quickie? Oh yeah, love it. Not when its the only thing on the menu.

Wanna Bee has it.
Exactly.
We want to connect with YOU not just your body parts. I know it can seem scary, being connected, opening your heart. It could get hurt or bruised, or the woman just might see the real you and the real you has vulnerable areas that you have been taught aren't 'manly'.
Guess what?
We see them anyway and we still love you. Sometimes we love that part of you more than the manly cover up that you try to hide them behind.
We have strengths and weaknesses too. We are both stronger when we share tenderness. When we come together (my puns are always intended) and join together and love and work together, rather than in opposition, we are a passionate power that will create positive change in our lives.

[Casey715]

Yeah wannabee your a god now. You understand women. They can relate to you, and vice versa. But I want to know, do you jackoff to porn? Because if you do, then you are, again, just a man. Less of a man actually. Because you did not state from the very onset that you masturbated to porn. And if you do this, then you don't really understand a woman at all. You don't understand her feelings, for if you did, you would only have physical intercourse with a real woman. NEVER would you be selfish enough to masturbate to porn for ANY reason what so ever. Real women don't look like those girls in porn, they don't do those atrocious sexual deeds you see in porn. You want some insight? There it is. Don't ever masturbate to porn. This will lead to an unrealized disconnect with your m8 and your relationship will forever be lost. Masturbating to porn is next to cheating, and some say its the same. So do take care to please your m8, and if in doing this, you are not satisfied, well then you must be content and wait for next time she is ready. And don't want for oral pleasure, unless you have observed the sacred rule of 10 to 1. If you want a BJ and you have not satisfied her numerous times over and over, then you just have no real feeling for your m8. Regardless of any extenuating circumstances you SHALL not ask to be pleasured if your SO is not to be pleasured as well. I have been on this forum for nearly a year and this is what I have learned. I enjoy the feedback from 98% of the women here. So don't be PO'd when you read this and say WTF is this guy thinking. Be honest with yourself and ask yourself, is casey715 that far off from what I want. I don't want my man to watch porn. Don't ask for oral sex if you are not willing to give to me. If these two rules were to be observed by every woman's SO on this site, (yes I am generalizing, and feel it is around 95%) then 40% of the current female members would not be members. So, gather your stones..........but I feel this is not really far from the truth. Is there more to consider, yes, I am not that shallow. For the next week look at the post and tell me am I that far off. Sorry if you disagree with how I feel.

[WildChild]

My my, Casey. Tell us how you really feel?

People don't join forums, go to counseling or any of that because they have perfect lives.
If you read selectively you could certainly come to the conclusions that you have. I started out neutral to porn - really. If you read my posts about it from a couple years ago, you will see that. I'm still not entirely against it. I look at porn. I don't masterbate to it but I use it a sort of exploratory reference to see what people are into. I've probably looked at stuff you wouldn't go near. I don't have a problem in general with it.

But there is a big but, when masterbation replaced me - and darlin' I'm worth sharing a bed with - I had a problem with that. Porn wasn't the real problem, rather how it was being used. In truth it wasn't just porn, it was that he prefered his hand to intercourse. He was as happy or happier to have me sexting, phone sex, or in person helping him masterbate, as he was to use porn.

The problem is multi faceted, part of it is women who don't take responsibilty for their own pleasure - they have been trained not to and that is tough to break through. When you are in a relationship, you should be relating. When a woman wants sex. wants to give and recieve pleasure and the man in her life is too busy jacking off, there is a problem.

Personally, I've given the 10 to 1. Hjs driving down the interstate, bjs in parking lots, hjs reaching though the window of his truck, bjs all over his apt, mine and other places. I never turned him down for sex, was always wet and ready. The couple of times a month, if that, he chose to actually let me share an orgasm with him it was wonderful and usually pretty much a quickie, no foreplay, no kissing, just do it. I fixed my problem by saying, no more and finding some one more giving.

There are problems on both sides and we won't solve them on either side by getting ****y about it. I don't have time to go into why some women who are sexually responsive shut down, I did write some thoughts on that in a blog that I need to update. There is plenty of change needed all around.

But Wanna Bee is on to something here and you know it.

[LanaBear]

Well well Casey, are we having a rough day again?

I can't help but feel that deep down you really think women are shallow and strive to be a PIA in a man's life.

Do you get a limited insight on a forum designed to help WOMEN? Yes, because most of the time they are not going to read and join if their life is perfect.

A relationship works both ways, everybody should know this by now.

Do I agree with everyone of WB's points? Nope... But I sure as am not going to come on here and sock it to everybody that may be in agreement with them all.

[ManINeedACoffee]

Goodness, where did THAT come from?

I don't remember masturbating to porn even being brought up in this thread.

[Casey715]

WC I am certainly not pointing anyone out, especially you. You don't fall under my generalization, not with regard to 10 to 1. That said, would you have been happier if your past m8 had not indulged in porn? You seem like a very sexual being, if that had been different, would the two of you found a way to work it out? What if he had responded to you, and made it about you? If you answer yes, then how am I wrong? I'm not being facetious here. TO ALL MALES WHO READ THIS ENTIRE THREAD: FOLLOW THOSE 2 RULES AND YOU WILL HAVE LESS PROBLEMS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Also take measure as to what wannabee said as well.

What a good memory you have LanaBear. Nope, just being brutally honest here. Women are shallow. Just as shallow as us men. I don't know what a PIA is. Limited insight, well it is a woman's forum, I do expect more insight from your side and hope to God it is true and not bias. And I feel I have received that here, or I would go to never return. And wannabee is right. I dispute nothing he said. Did I USE him to get my point across, yeah, maybe a little.

And Scooter (that's the name of the Muppet in your avatar, right?) I was offering my insight. The OP wanted a shortcut (insight) that would keep relationships on a better path. I was sharing what I think would make a marriage work better. Which is don't watch porn and make sure your wife is pleased sexually. Does anyone out there say I am wrong. Is this not good advise?

[Fallen1]

I don't know what a PIA is.

Oh come on now ......... pain in the a double s .........

[Casey715]

o.....honestly did not know. I had to look up what IMO was the other day. lol

[CHANDLERS WISH]

And wannabee is right. I dispute nothing he said. Did I USE him to get my point across, yeah, maybe a little.

Just a little

Yes wannabee asked for further insight, no porn, yes, possibly in "allot" of relationships that would be excellent insight, however, debating is good, but let's not take over this thread.

Moving right along to more insight as per the request of the OP....

CW

[kristalyn_04]

Forgive me Casey, but you are making a generalization about all women, saying that "women are shallow". Granted, yes, some are shallow just like some men. But I think I can say that many are not, certainly not the ones on this forum. Shallow implies that we only care about one thing in a relationship (what that thing is can vary), but that is very far from the truth. We care about many things, most women are very deep emotionally and intellectually.

About the porn, on some level you are right, many women would rather their partners not get off on porn. But imo it only becomes a problem when the porn is preferred over sex with a partner. I've been in relationships where he would watch/ look at porn, and it did not bother me because it didn't interfere with our intimacy. For some women, it bothers them because they are insecure and believe that their partner wishes she looked like that porn actress instead. Regardless, it is not the porn that is the problem, it is the lack of communication that is the problem.