[stressed]

I try to. I think I communicate my wordlessness with my eyes. Sometimes what I think about can't be articulated. I think about feelings and thats not easy to put in words.

Maybe you can express your thoughts and feelings in other ways. With actions. Use your strengths to your advantage. For example, someone good at painting can offer a painting to the person he's interested in, without having to say anything. Others can write a poem, others can write short notes, give a good book as a gift. Many times actions tell more about us than what we say or what we show. You definitely have strengths, you're very intelligent, restless, you want to make this happen. Intergrade your strengths to your social interactions, whatever those strengths are. This way you'll feel comfortable interacting with others (because you'll be exhibiting something you know you are very good at and feel confident about) and this will make you more social. Use your interests and your skills, whatever those are, to your advantage. Then others will come to you instead of you having to go to them.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

That is an excellent idea, thought Stressed

I focused on drama/ singing.......

Now, at peace, but still, gardening, planting, seeing it all grow in colours, patterns, much like painting and I'm trying that too and the conversations had over it all with strangers, amazing...

[liminal]

Well I was practicing Karaoke with hopes of going out to a bar. But the thought of men and women staring at me unsympathetically while I sang songs often about various romantic themes even if sung very well coming from a super silent 30 year old virgin eventually overwhelmed even my ability to practice.

It's too much for me. Do you understand that? I want to start practicing again though as my feelings of doubt subside.

[liminal]

I like that I think a lot of questions and still have wander in my soul.

[stressed]

Well I was practicing Karaoke with hopes of going out to a bar. But the thought of men and women staring at me unsympathetically while I sang songs often about various romantic themes even if sung very well coming from a super silent 30 year old virgin eventually overwhelmed even my ability to practice.

It's too much for me. Do you understand that? I want to start practicing again though as my feelings of doubt subside.

But, you see, you were considering Karaoke when it's not something you enjoy doing. I'd never practice Karaoke, for example, because I'd also feel uncomfortable singing in front of a crowd, regardless of who I am. So I don't focus on the things "I don't like doing at a bar" but things "I like doing at a bar" instead. Find something you'd do at any time, any place, that you enjoy doing for yourself, not for others. Not something that would please others so they'd come up to you and talk, but something that would please you. Because when you do that you won't need anyone's approval, you won't need to be told whether you're doing it right or wrong, because you will already know how good you are.

I am 100% certain you have skills, hobbies and interests you believe you are good at. Something that makes you feel good, something you find comfort in, something inspiring. Once you reach a level of confidence in you THEN you can pursue doing things like Karaoke or anything else you come up with. But you have to take one step at a time.

I like that I think a lot of questions and still have wander in my soul.

This is a wonderful advantage because due to this you don't settle, you want to keep learning, you progress. It shows interest in life, in learning about yourself, about others. There must be a lot more you like about yourself.

[liminal]

I enjoy Karaoke. I was selected to all state choir.

[stressed]

You do, but your thoughts interfere with practicing it, at least temporarily, and this makes you doubt yourself. You have to find activities not interfered by your thoughts.

You can also start by just going to a bar and observe the crowd's reaction when other people sing Karaoke. You might find that the crowd is not judgmental at all, that they are there to have fun and don't have negative thoughts about the person singing, that it's all about socializing and having a good time. Observing this experience from the outside and by being a member of the people you're worried that will judge you can make you more confident about going up there and singing yourself. But, again, you have to do this slowly and over time. Pay attention to people 4-5 times and if you feel better about how people react then go for it.

You don't do it because you think people will judge you, but that is because you judge yourself too harshly so you suspect others do the same too. Once you notice that people don't judge you like you judge yourself you'll feel better interacting with them.

[liminal]

Alright then. Fair enough. I will think about that.

[WildChild]

You don't do it because you think people will judge you, but that is because you judge yourself too harshly so you suspect others do the same too. Once you notice that people don't judge you like you judge yourself you'll feel better interacting with them.

Very good point. We all do this at some time.

[liminal]

Thank you everybody for all the input you've given me. I feel like a psychological barrier has at least been partially overcome. Now I must get out there and put these thoughts into action.