[annaido]

Not bashing but I have to ask you to go back and reread your post. You state right away that you are in your 40s. If you remove that part it sounds very much like a teenager talking. You are not doing yourself any favors here. Is there some concrete reason you are actively searching for unavailable men, such as cheating husbands?

[Stillness]

And I am just here for advice on what he emailed me...just wanted to know what he is thinking by his actions. replies from men are probably best

Then he sent me an email one day saying that he is sorry but he is rethinking everything and he does not have enough time for me and that he is going to lay low for awhile and maybe in future we can meet up again…I also noticed this guy was still logging in to cheating site and by snooping found out he was still trying to meet other women.

"I only care about having sex with attractive women. This one's probably ugly. Ugly women are a waste of time."

Then a few weeks ago I was in a wild mood so I sent him a racy picture of me. He immediately responded and said he liked pic and had been thinking about me…also said he was surprised I was so attractive because I had talked myself down.

"I hadn't thought of her because I thought she was ugly. But she's attractive enough and I won't have to work too hard to so I will have sex with her."

"hey, how was your weekend, I was busy this week and not online, was feeling a bit strange after meeting you, not sure if it is guilt or what, but I'm okay"

"I was busy doing things in my life that I actually care about, but I still want to use her for sex if I get the urge again. Women like her get off on doing bad, but struggling with it. I'll make it seem like deep in my disloyal heart is some goodness and give myself a potential out for the future, so I'll say something semi-moral. Something that can turn into, 'You're so great you make me do wrong,' OR 'My conscience is bothering me too much.'"

[Guest]

Thank you for all the responses. Stillness you are probably right. (though he did say I was very attractive in beginning)...the racy pic was just a nude shot lol

Any thoughts as to what he will think of comment I sent him "yes, what we're doing, is wrong, but I liked it...." ? is that telling him yes I want to do it again, is it telling him I have morals? lol

I can't date anyone serious right now..can't explain it...just want to have fun and don't want to deal with all that stuff....I am not who I want to be right now and can't put a man in a situation to even deal with me...it's weird because I remember being 17 and always wanting to read about affairs- books, soap operas, articles on why people do it....maybe I'm getting something out of my system....

[notlikethenormal]

You are getting something out of it... his attention, affection at times.

Problem with it is its not going to last, and will most likely end up hurting you and damaging your self esteem further.

[Hopeless Dork]

Sounds like you are in a way seeking some form of revenge, or hoping to understand the cheating ways of another, or making some other woman feel the hurt you've experienced. But even if none of the above is true... you are putting yourself in harms way, its almost setting yourself up for heartache.

Being the other woman doesn't feel any better than being the woman that got cheated on, not in the long run. To be cheated on, and think... wow that other woman must feel so special... is that the feeling you are hoping to obtain? To be the 'special' other woman? The woman a man will hurt the woman he promised to love for?

Problem with all that is a man that will go to a cheating website, is a certain kind of man. I.E... not a prize, not a challenge, not someone that was woo'd away from his love, its a man that is looking for no strings sex..nothing wrong with looking for no strings sex, not for you not for men, but to be married and seeking it intentionally it screams creep. So you are setting yourself up to be involved with self-centered jerks. And thats a headache if not a heartache.

I'm not judging your actions. I've cheated on and been cheated on and theres not many that can say they are so far above having ever done it in their life. But we live and learn those mistakes, and in a no judgment way, like CW says... its caring that is causing ppl to tell you to stop. Its people seeing the light from the train headed toward your emotional health and wanting you to jump out of the way it.

[Guest]

just got an email from him saying "Want to meet again" I responded "maybe..."

[BabyGirl]

Any thoughts as to what he will think of comment I sent him "yes, what we're doing, is wrong, but I liked it...." ? is that telling him yes I want to do it again, is it telling him I have morals? lol

That is telling him you are willing to be with him again and that your Morals are low enough that you have no consideration for his Vows of Marriage or His wife and Family. You are Validating and being an Accessory to his Infidelity.

I can't date anyone serious right now..can't explain it...just want to have fun and don't want to deal with all that stuff...

As someone said, your attitude is that of a immature Teen, that is only out for fun, irregardless of the consequences and responsibility to your own Kids and Family. Your self respect is very low and you have no compunctions about being a " Loose Woman" who has no problem, sleeping around with Married or even Unmarried men.
Maybe you can join an " Escort Service ". That way you can get your sexual needs met, get paid for having your " fun " and having no Commitment or chance of a " Serious Relationship". And on top of it all, you will get your Thrill of having Sex with Married Men and a less chance of becoming a " Mistress " and Ruining a Marriage. You'd just be one of Many Women the Men chest on their wives with . Not the Only one..

Another thought ( since you did ask for out thoughts )
Is to go back, re read your Post and then Imagine it being your Son or Daughter that wrote that post . If you only have son's , just change it to a Married woman instead of Man . How would you feel about it, what advise would you give them ?

I'm not Bashing you, I'm giving my thoughts.. Of which you asked for .

[Stillness]

trixies,

My post was not meant to encourage you. It makes me sad that it seemed to. I was hoping that it would snap you back to reality.

It's not enough that you want to take what belongs to other women for your own pleasure, but you want help from people on a women's forum to do it? Even if you just don't care about anybody else, why are you trying to involve others? How hard is it to attract men with low morals with free vagina?

Infidelity is an evil thing and no one who's ever been harmed by it should support you. You might as well as ask for help stealing or for the best way to hurt children. That's what you're doing. Stable marriages are important. It's hard work to make one. Besides the very likely immediate emotional and physical damage you'll have, disruption of just one family is bad in the long-term for you and everybody you're asking for advice.

[Guest]

I appreciate your concern and yes I am doing something bad - believe me I know!

he has not responded to my "maybe" yet..

looking for advice on why...does the maybe mean I may be filled with drama, I may want more that he can't give? should I just write "I want to **** you" in an email to him? lol I was trying not to be as easy....

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Trixie, I know you came here to find out if this guy would call you gain, and instead you have a lot of heart reaching out to you...

I understand, alot of us when seperating or Divorcing take it all hard, some don't.

I guess, we all get in that "not in the right place and pfttt".. I surely understand the want and desire to feel wanted even if it is only sexually, means you were worth it right? And, that's the problem with Divorce and Seperation you feel you were never worth it.

Maybe that's what you are getting out of your system but I think you already have and you don't need to continue this, so what? Another man can win?

Don't be like your ex-husband. Be true to you instead..

Plenty of fish in the sea to have fun with (carefully), two wrongs don't make a right but more importantly you are not a piece of meat.

Having sex just because "you want to" is assertive.

Having sex with someone else's husband that really actually enticed you cause he is on those internet sites, is evil, he's a user, doesn't give a shirt about anyone but himself, or he wouldn't be on there.

Don't cheat yourself.