[T&M_2]

Jondoe your thread has inspired my wife and I to try the 30 days of sex, day 4 now and its going well, I must admit that originally I thought, wow what a way to have sex every day for the next month, but after reading your thread again and discussing it with my wife, we got serious about it. So far it has definately made us more intermit and atentive towards each other. What I can offer to you is, lock yourself and your wife away, with no distractions, (cell phones, tv, computer) and talk and listen, when you think you have talked and listened enough talk and listen some more. 20 some years of marriage is not something that should be given up on. I am not sure of your religious situation, but maybe talking with some one else that both of you trust can help.

[JonDoe]

Jondoe your thread has inspired my wife and I to try the 30 days of sex, day 4 now and its going well, I must admit that originally I thought, wow what a way to have sex every day for the next month, but after reading your thread again and discussing it with my wife, we got serious about it. So far it has definitely made us more intimate and attentive towards each other.

Great! I genuinely hope it works out for you and your wife.

We are at the halfway point, but have only been sexually intimate 5 times even though my wife originally agreed to the plan and on day 4 suggested that we try every other day for a longer period instead. I wanted to stick to the original plan, but decided that a comprise was in our best interests. However, we haven't been intimate sexually or non-sexually in over 5 days.

She purchased and started reading a book titled "Becoming Your Spouse's Better Half" by Rick Johnson, which starts with a man's sexual needs and desires. When I read that section, I immediately thought when she reads this she has understand this is exactly what I have been telling her for years. Again, we haven't been intimate sexually or non-sexually in over 5 days.

We are also arguing more now than before we started working at our relationship. She looks for hidden meaning in every comment or question, even telling me via email that my questions are accusatory. Somehow she found it accusatory when I asked if the new book was interesting. However, she refuses to talk about it. Nothing irritates me more than to accuse me of something and then refuse to discuss it.

Glass half-empty: She still doesn't get it and probably never will.

Glass half-full: We had sexually intimacy 5 times in 15 days versus 3 or 4 times all last year.

[T&M_2]

I believe that even arguing is communicating, the fact that your wife purchased a book of that nature, makes me think that she also want to work on the relationship. Is it possable that both of you have forgotten how to communicate openly, I'm only asking. I know that sometimes I take it for granted that my wife understands me when I dont explain myself completely. As far as the accusing part goes, can it not be something you reading into the situation? It might also be a feeling of guilt on your wifes side and thats the only way she can deal with it.

Is there a section on communication in the book? Are the exercises for communication? If there are I would suggest you do them with your wife. If not look it up on the net. I'm no professional at this, this is only my personal feelings of how i would try and work on my marriage if I was in the same place as you are.

As far as our progress is going,its day six today, we almost had a hiccup yesterday, we both were very tired, fell a sleep on the couch, but when we went to bed we still made time for sex. It was our way of showing each other our commitment to what we agreed to. I must say that we have both been a lot more adventurous, and like I said before things are going from strength to strength.

[JonDoe]

As far as our progress is going,its day six today, we almost had a hiccup yesterday, we both were very tired, fell a sleep on the couch, but when we went to bed we still made time for sex. It was our way of showing each other our commitment to what we agreed to. I must say that we have both been a lot more adventurous, and like I said before things are going from strength to strength.

FANTASTIC !!!!!!

[JonDoe]

As far as our progress is going,its day six today, we almost had a hiccup yesterday, we both were very tired, fell a sleep on the couch, but when we went to bed we still made time for sex. It was our way of showing each other our commitment to what we agreed to. I must say that we have both been a lot more adventurous, and like I said before things are going from strength to strength.

Are you still going strong on day 10?

Tomorrow is day 20 for us and we have already missed 12 days. After the first week, we are only having sex before church on Sunday.

[T&M_2]

Today is day 20, yes to answer your question we are still going strong, we've missed 2 days, due to illness, we making sure its not becoming a task to foreful as well, always making it exciting and enjoyable, some times its just a quickie in the morning. The communication between us has gone from strength to strength, we openly and unhesitently discuss anything that is on our mind, where as before we would wait for something tohappen before discussing issues or something we want ed to try in the bedroom.

We are truely grateful to you for starting this thread it has helped us so much in our relationship, highlighted issues that we didnt even know existed.

What you dont mention in yourlast post is, if you and your wife are talking more, we believe that is exercise has more to do with communication than sex everyday, although we are not regretting the close physicalness of the exercise. We hope that others would reply if they have tried this.

[JonDoe]

Today is day 20, yes to answer your question we are still going strong

I'm impressed! Well done!

We are truely grateful to you for starting this thread it has helped us so much in our relationship, highlighted issues that we didnt even know existed.

Genuinely happy for you, and glad to hear my story has inspired you and your wife. Hopefully others will benefit too. I actually got the idea from a podcast titled "Sex with Emily", which I listen to on my iPhone while driving. She recently released an iPhone app titled "Emily's Sex-Drive" that intends to make 30 days of sex fun. I haven't tried it yet, but plan to do so at some point when my life isn't so crazy.

What you don't mention in your last post is, if you and your wife are talking more, we believe that is exercise has more to do with communication than sex everyday, although we are not regretting the close physicalness of the exercise. We hope that others would reply if they have tried this.

Today is day 30 for us, much of which has been a huge struggle in terms of communication and sex. We've had sex ten times in the 30 days and argued at least as much, if not more. In fact, it got so bad I was ready to separate. I told her to move out and go stay with a friend. She was obviously very emotional and said she didn't want to leave her house, dogs and kids. She later apologized to wasting many years of our marriage. Since then she has been trying harder and has even initiated sex a few times and is trying to gradually become an unselfish lover. It seems a bit awkward, but I am cautiously optimistic.

[DreamP346]

She was obviously very emotional and said she didn't want to leave her house, dogs and kids.

Did she mention you and your marriage?

[JonDoe]

Did she mention you and your marriage?

She did not mention me or our marriage until later. She was arguing the previous day before work, again that night before going to sleep, and again the next morning, then I tell her to move out, she comes home from work, shaves it all off, and initiates sex. I know, weird, right? Sure it's considered make-up sex, but we never have make-up sex nor has she ever shaved it all off. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining in the least, but I am a somewhat cautiously optimistic given our history. That was about 10 days ago. Since then she seems to be genuinely trying and happy, and initiated intimacy a few times. She has been receptive to non-sexual intimacy too, and even suggested to take video of her giving me a BJ and to take a semi-nude photo of her. We are both much less stressed out, at least as much as parents of two stubborn teenage boys can be. Now I need to get it out of my head that she might be doing this for the short-term to change my mind, but go back to her old ways.

[Stillness]

then I tell her to move out

I don't necessarily agree with putting your woman out of the house, but I do agree with putting your foot down, big fella. It sounds like you're commanding respect and so you're getting respect.