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  • DreamP346
    • Oct 2011
    • 2053

    Originally posted by JonDoe
    She did not mention me or our marriage until later.
    This just says where her priorities are and where you stand. Let me tell you, I am a total dog person. Love my dogs like they were my kids. Would take out a second mortgage to pay for their medical bills. I am that crazy dog person. But if my husband told me our marriage was over, the dogs would be the last thing on my mind. I would first think about my kids, and about how the love of my life didn't want me any more. I would give up my house and even my dogs to be with my husband.

    I'm sorry to say this, but I don't think your wife really loves you. She is working on the relationship, not because she wants to be with YOU, but so she can maintain the life style that she loves.
    Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

    Comment

    • JonDoe
      Veteran Member
      • Sep 2010
      • 444

      Originally posted by sp346
      This just says where her priorities are and where you stand.

      [...snip...]

      I'm sorry to say this, but I don't think your wife really loves you. She is working on the relationship, not because she wants to be with YOU, but so she can maintain the life style that she loves.
      Yeah, I'm struggling with the idea of this a bit too. She tells me almost everyday before she leaves for work and before hanging up when we talk on the phone, which is usually once or twice a day. But I think this can simply become routine for some people.

      Strangely on Sunday night when we had sex she didn't want to kiss me, she was agitated and just wanted me to give her oral. It was an agitated response, not an enthusiastic "Oh my God I'm so horny, lick me now!" response. Maybe I'm ready to much into, but I know for sure if the tables were turned and I told her "Just give me a BJ", that would be the last thing I would get.

      Oh well, we are gradually spending more quality time together and having more sex, both of which are a big plus and a step in the right direction. The arguing has started to subside in the past few days. Our future is still tentative.

      Comment

      • T&M_2
        Junior Member
        • Sep 2012
        • 9

        Hi Jon we see we have missed a lot, I disagree that your wife is just trying to maintain her life style, but give it some time, I truely hope she is in i for the long hual, you guys have been married for a long time. It sounds like you guys are getting more alone time, and that is truely a good thing, take small steps, and see how it goes. How is the intimacy while you not having sex? that is a good indication of where your relationship is.

        Oh we havent given you an update yet, how rude of us LOL.

        Well to tell you the truth we feel like we are teenagers again, frikken well trying to have sex were ever and when ever we can. We into day 34 now and it seems that this was such a good idea we will just keep going with it. Our intimacy has gone from strength to strength. we have even start erotic chating during the day, it allows us to spell out clarely what we would like in our fantasies.

        Comment

        • jns
          Assistant Admin
          • Mar 2010
          • 8398

          T&M, glad to see your rebuilding effort is continuing to have good results.
          I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
          ...
          Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

          From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

          Comment

          • T&M_2
            Junior Member
            • Sep 2012
            • 9

            We are truely grateful to Jondoe for starting us on this journey, and I would suggest it to everyone that has been in a relationship for a long time, it is amasing just how much we take for granted. This has been such an eye opener for both of us. Once again a very big thank you

            Comment

            • JonDoe
              Veteran Member
              • Sep 2010
              • 444

              T&M, genuinely glad to hear the "30 Days" idea worked well for you and your wife! Hopefully your related posts are also inspiring other readers too.

              We had sex once in the first twelve days after our "30 Days", but we went away for a 3-day weekend and had a great time. Quite, stress-free, fun and good sex every day too. Hopefully we continue the increased intimacy after we are back to the daily grind.

              Comment

              • Stillness
                WH Poster of the Month April 2017
                • Feb 2012
                • 3679

                Originally posted by T&M_2
                I would suggest it to everyone that has been in a relationship for a long time
                I tried to discreetly send you a PM but mistakenly put this message on your public wall. So I'll just recopy here as I don't intend on checking your wall and you can't receive PM's:

                You posts have inspired me to try again with my wife to have sex everyday. We tried it once before, but without a definite endpoint. It lasted all of three days. One the problems I foresee is my wife's cycle. For 4-6 days sex is pretty much out of the question. If I press it she will. She will sometimes begrudgingly do other things with me, but most of the time I just try to stay away from her because it's so unpleasant for her.

                If you don't mind me asking, does your wife still get her cycle? Has this been a barrier to sex in the past? If so, how did you overcome it for your 30 days?
                "Those sowing seed with tears
                Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

                Comment

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