[a_dub]

I know, right? He used to do it all the time before. I guess I have to be more dominant in the bedroom, LOL

He might be one of those men who for reasons unknown to modern scientists, don't like to "munch clam". My old roomate, absolutely abhorred the idea of cunnilingus. He couldn't fathom why a man would put anything other than his penis in that region of a woman. We actually got into arguments over it where I would be annoyed at his prudishness, and he with my "perversion."

If your husband was doing it 2x a week, it doesn't seem very frequent to begin with. I echo the above poster's advice, just sit on his face!

If all else fails, tell him that there are men out there who would love to lick a woman from head to toe, but either don't have tongues, or more commonly don't have women.

[MoeJr]

Not surprising this subject comes up as much as it does..... As the Author of ...Secretly Teach Him ....with over 20+ years of experience researching reactions, motivations, desires and all that good stuff on the subject sex. I have found the couple of biggest reason men shy away from oral is 1) Many men aren't even sure if there woman likes it, never the less wants it more. 2) Lack of confidence in doing it right. And many others...... I know many of you will shake your head and say I tell him, ask him to do it, doesn't matter. Men want to see and feel you enjoying it !! Think I'm wrong? Next time try this.....When he gets down there, put your hands on his head and make more erotic noises than you ever have before..... bet he is there again without you asking Now do that even if he isn't to well....great at it. It will also be a confidence building and with a little direction he will get better. Now remember if your going to say something or tell him how great he is doing etc. BE LOUD! The last thing you want him to do is lift his head and ask what did you say...lol. Somewhere in 2006-2007 I did a poll on just ask men forum, with over 5200 responses on, what keep you away from performing oral? 84% answered with those two I listed above or similar........Doesn't matter what they tell you, most men are embarrassed to admit things. Try what I said above and let us know if it helped ....

[ItsASecret]

Next time try this.....When he gets down there, put your hands on his head and make more erotic noises than you ever have before..... bet he is there again without you asking Now do that even if he isn't to well....great at it. It will also be a confidence building and with a little direction he will get better. Now remember if your going to say something or tell him how great he is doing etc. BE LOUD!

And what if a woman is not into theatrics or appearing like she is trying to turn it into a porno response? Honestly the first thing I thought when you mentioned "more erotic noises" and "be loud" I thought "so copy a porn actress?". All I think of are those annoying squealing sounds the actresses make while thrashing about like they are having a seizure lol. I do not think you mean to copy that sort of thing lol but it is the first thing that came to mind. Maybe it should be more like "help guide him more by telling him to move this way or that way or faster and slower".

[Stillness]

This may be unpleasant, but I'm just keeping it real. My first thought was that once you settle into a relationship you get to see more of what goes on between a woman's legs and it may not be as appealing to put your mouth down there. My wife doesn't like anything there but my penis and I feel like she's missing out, but I can't lie and say I'm not a little relieved sometimes.

But, when I read MoeJr's post:

When he gets down there, put your hands on his head and make more erotic noises than you ever have before..... bet he is there again without you asking

I was thinking: Yes! I would happily stay down there if I got a great response like this. It wouldn't even have to be loud noises. Anything verbal or audible to let me know it was good would work. Also he mentioned "a little direction." To me the emphasis should be on the "little" because directions are not necessarily sexy. They're not necessarily unsexy and they can be necessary, but they should not be confused with or substituted for erotic noise. So, "a little to the left" does not compare to "Oooh [name] that feels good." Not anywhere close. As a matter of fact, if you got "a little to the left" without some sort of encouragement afterward it would be discouraging, because then you'd feel like you weren't getting it.

[MoeJr]

And what if a woman is not into theatrics or appearing like she is trying to turn it into a porno response? Honestly the first thing I thought when you mentioned "more erotic noises" and "be loud" I thought "so copy a porn actress?". All I think of are those annoying squealing sounds the actresses make while thrashing about like they are having a seizure lol. I do not think you mean to copy that sort of thing lol but it is the first thing that came to mind. Maybe it should be more like "help guide him more by telling him to move this way or that way or faster and slower".

The noise you make is totally up to you.....was just trying to be funny there....... Go right ahead and do that, tell him what to do ! And I'll see you back here when he doesn't like the directing, criticizing, etc.

Why is people seem to find the negatives in anything you say? Now one can just lay there do nothing then complain that he doesn't do it right too.....if that works for you.

So what you were saying...she wants it right, but wants to do nothing to get it right....Hmmmmm Then complain if he isn't there or doesn't stay there long enough....another hmmmm.

[ItsASecret]

Why is people seem to find the negatives in anything you say? Now one can just lay there do nothing then complain that he doesn't do it right too.....if that works for you.

So what you were saying...she wants it right, but wants to do nothing to get it right....Hmmmmm Then complain if he isn't there or doesn't stay there long enough....another hmmmm.

I was not finding a negative I was simply saying the thought that came to my mind first when I read the words "loud" and "erotic noises". I cannot speak for other women but to me when there is mention of being loud, being erotic, being vocal in that sort of sense the first thing I think of is the porn actresses.

What I was saying is that if she is not a theatrical woman, not loud to begin with, not into the loud erotic noises then simply do not do that but find a way to guide him anyway. And as Stillness mentioned I do agree that a flat out "go to the left" or whatever is not exactly sexy but maybe moving his head in that direction would work rather than just being loud. It is going to be based on her personality as well in this, cannot assume that all women will want to say dirty erotic words or scream or be loud with moans if she is simply not like that...but maybe she is willing to grab his head and push it there or simply position herself over his face without any real warning lol...actions like that imply "I want that" if she is too nervous to ask for it. Simply pushing his head there can be a turn on for men minus any loud vocals.

[MoeJr]

I was not finding a negative I was simply saying the thought that came to my mind first when I read the words "loud" and "erotic noises". I cannot speak for other women but to me when there is mention of being loud, being erotic, being vocal in that sort of sense the first thing I think of is the porn actresses.

What I was saying is that if she is not a theatrical woman, not loud to begin with, not into the loud erotic noises then simply do not do that but find a way to guide him anyway. And as Stillness mentioned I do agree that a flat out "go to the left" or whatever is not exactly sexy but maybe moving his head in that direction would work rather than just being loud. It is going to be based on her personality as well in this, cannot assume that all women will want to say dirty erotic words or scream or be loud with moans if she is simply not like that...but maybe she is willing to grab his head and push it there or simply position herself over his face without any real warning lol...actions like that imply "I want that" if she is too nervous to ask for it. Simply pushing his head there can be a turn on for men minus any loud vocals.

Oh heavens I totally understand. I was going to add another paragraph to that but got rudely interrupted by work haha What work before finishing a post...shame on me

I totally agree it has to be something your comfortable with, but the concept remains the same ( Getting the point across) as far as the loud thing, what I was implying is not to whisper, if your going to whisper something because your being shy more than likely all he is going to do is lift his head up and say "What" you don't want that In most cases like you said the adjustment of your body or moving his head would be a lot better than verbally trying to direct him. Men have egos (really they do lol) chances are with verbal direction your just going to get a "Fine I don't do it good enough, I won't do it at all" The reason I titled the book Secretly, is so that women can learn to do it without there partner realizing what they are doing.

Sorry for the lack of clarity...I forget sometimes to show when I'm being sarcastic, funny, or just plain letting out my humorous personality. I'm sure I have stated my dislike of porn and how they treat women in them. So encouraging a women to do so, is something I would never do.

[Guest]

either 69 or sit on his face,,,

[Guest]

its shud be always mutual , u shud slowly show less interest in BJ

[x.st.angel.x]

What about encouraging more 69's? That way you both can benefit?

_saint