[skater16]

First of all I'm 16 and Ive been with this girl for about 3 months. Thursday night she was over my hosuse and I decided to take the relationship to the next level and ask her if shes ever tried anal. She said no and I told her perfect I will be her first. She said okay first but then she changed her mind and told me we're not doing it while I was in the middle of feeling up her boobs. So I told her it was too late because I was already horny and besides im her boyfriend she cant tell me what to do. I rolled her over and told her to be quiet because I didnt want my mom to hear. Afterwards she said it hurt and she was going home, that was two days ago.

So today i get on and see her best friend wrote on my wall calling me a RAPIST, she told me she "Can't belive what i've done". This got me worried because I didn't actually rape her and I don't my friends thinking im a rapist. I also dont want her mom to find out. What do I do?

[Claret]

Anything you did to her, against her will, and after she expressedly told you NO is rape. She can bring charges against you. I think at 16 you have some serious growing up to do, and you need to have some type of relationship counselling. Just because you are horny doesn't give you the right to insist upon anything. Learn other ways to relieve your sexual tension and frustrations, don't take it out on any one especially if they say no.

[Stillness]

Go straight to the police and tell them your side before your girlfriend does.

[kira]

A person can say no at any time. It doesn't matter how turned on you are. You did it against her will and anal hurts horribly when someone is not relaxed and in to it. There are a ton of nerve endings there. It's worse than vaginal rape. Often getting to full anal sex takes days of working up to it starting with just fingers the first time. You went about it completely wrong and after being told to stop. They have every right to call you names and never see you again.

[skater16]

Anything you did to her, against her will, and after she expressedly told you NO is rape. She can bring charges against you. I think at 16 you have some serious growing up to do, and you need to have some type of relationship counselling. Just because you are horny doesn't give you the right to insist upon anything. Learn other ways to relieve your sexual tension and frustrations, don't take it out on any one especially if they say no.

No you got it wrong she said "okay" I even said so in my post. Plus I cant be charged because me and her are both sophomores in high school/under 18.

[kira]

but then she changed her mind and told me we're not doing it while I was in the middle of feeling up her boobs. So I told her it was too late because I was already horny

She said no right there. You should have stopped. Continuing just because you were aroused is rape. You can be charged with rape at any age. The penalty and what they call it just becomes something different.

Headline from a case nearby my hometown

A 16-year-old male from Council Bluffs, Iowa was arrested in Council Bluffs Friday on charges of first-degree rape and sexual contact

[skater16]

What are you accusing me of? I didn't rape her!
1. shes my GIRLFRIEND not some random girl
2. it wasnt in her vag
3. we've had sex before but never anal

[kira]

1. it doesn't matter if you are married. No to a sexual act still means no. You are still allowed to change your mind and if the person does not stop it is still rape. Women get in to situations with husband's who rape them all the time in this world. They use excuses exactly like you used of needing it or being too aroused to stop.
2. doesn't matter. Anal sex is still sex and therefore still rape. I believe there's even a specific word for anal rape but I forget it.
3.What does that have to do with anything? Again a person can say no and change their mind at any time. It doesn't matter what the sex act is. The only exception to no being no is if you are doing role/bondage play and have a safe word to stop things instead.

You are lucky all they are doing is calling you names.

[Harmony]

a woman is legally and morally entitled to retract consent (say stop) DURING sex.

also, acquiescence is not consent. and "I was horny" is not a defence (edit)

[CHANDLERS WISH]

No you got it wrong she said "okay" I even said so in my post. Plus I cant be charged because me and her are both sophomores in high school/under 18.

Actually she got it right!

She said okay first but then she changed her mind and told me we're not doing it while I was in the middle of feeling up her boobs. So I told her it was too late because I was already horny and besides im her boyfriend she cant tell me what to do.

It's obvious if you stated that "she can't tell you what to do" meaning in this situation she can not change her mind, you are the what, "boss?".. Then this would not be the first time that you have laid down that rule. And you don't have a right to... It is her body. Her choice. She can change her mind, I suggest that she initially said yes, purely because she felt she had to, but then tried to stand her ground.

Anal as has been bought to your attention, is extremely painful if you do not know how to do it right and given your age, no one is going to give you that information on this Forum either.

One thing that concerns me the most, is that you are not concerned at all that you hurt her, that she may even have left in tears and continued crying, given she has gone to her friends it suggests that very strongly to me.

Is, that you are only interested if you can get charged. So, I can't comprehend your 1) She is my girlfriend. A girlfriend becomes one because two people like each other, respect each other and are getting to know each other.

She said no and you said, pftttttttt do what I say.

This is something you seriously have to get into check.. Because if you are not heading for a police station this time, you may in the very near future.

I wish to remind our members the age of the poster and what we can and cannot offer as advice, as well as our policy of non-judging .

CW