[dyunysus]

Hi_Palerider. I am a 31 yr old married man been with the same women since I was 15. She is the only women i have slept with. So i can honestly say I have no desire to share her with another man. Although I know it is a more common fantasy than you think. I have this opinion on any sharing/swinging, as long as all parties are truly into it...then go for it. We have talked about it however we are both the jealous type and we just don't want to risk our marriage on fulfilling a fantasy.

As far as cleaning you out afterward he must have a very low salt diet to be able to stand that. He probably does it because you enjoy it so much. I for one love having my wife taste herself. I wish you all the best and if you decide to give it a go google: the basics of a threesome.

take care.

[Palerider]

Very interesting because another friend of mine (internet buddy) is an avowed swinger and he pretty much backed that theory up. He said that after watching his wife get filled up by another man, there was an almost primal urge to plow his way right through the other guys' seed to re-assert his biological dominance.

Alex

Alex, have you heard of the "upsuck theory" of female orgasm? There's much talk about the male side of this, but not much about how the female responds. According to what I've read, wives tend to have far more orgasms with their lovers than with their husbands. And their extramarital orgasms tend to be more intense too.

All of this operates on the idea that a woman's orgasm operates as a mechanism of natural selection. When we have orgasms, the cervix actually dips down into the semen pool, drawing it up to promote impregnation. So we see natural selection at work during extramarital sex...her body is selecting the best genes for her offspring.

You can Google articles about it and it's even featured in Desmond Morris' "The Human Animal" television program.

[Palerider]

As far as cleaning you out afterward he must have a very low salt diet to be able to stand that. He probably does it because you enjoy it so much. I for one love having my wife taste herself. I wish you all the best and if you decide to give it a go google: the basics of a threesome.

He says he seriously doesn't mind it. But I wonder if he'd enjoy the taste of licking another man's semen out of my vagina.

[Stillness]

All of this operates on the idea that a woman's orgasm operates as a mechanism of natural selection. When we have orgasms, the cervix actually dips down into the semen pool, drawing it up to promote impregnation. So we see natural selection at work during extramarital sex...her body is selecting the best genes for her offspring.

Curious. How would the woman's body "know" the lover has better genes?

[Palerider]

Presumably it has to do with the interaction of the mind and the body. The mind is able to perceive that her lover has better qualities and therefore induces the body to select his seed.

[Stillness]

It makes more sense that the newness and taboo nature of the affair is causing excitement. The lover is probably romancing harder as well. She's not seeing his dirty drawers.

[Palerider]

I've never thought of it that way, but that could be true. New experiences tend to be exciting. But are we reading into that?

Just try to imagine for a moment that you're having sex with me (I'm assuming you're a guy). You know I'm married. You probably know that I have sex with my husband on a fairly regular basis. Since your subconscious is aware that my body already contains sperm from another man (my husband), it directs your body to adjust the number of sperm you ejaculate into me. See how that works?

In your conscious mind, you're just enjoying banging a married redhead. You may even be aware of my wet vagina and how tight it feels against your penis. You would definitely be aware of the pleasure you get when you orgasm inside me, each pulse of your hard penis registering in your mind. But there's a lot going on under the surface.

Have you read the book "Sperm Wars" by Robin Baker?

[Stillness]

I haven't read that book, but I've read sperm competition theories. I hadn't heard the female orgasm one either. They all suffer from being overly complex explanations for simple phenomena, as far as what I've seen. If anything it seems you're reading more into it than me. We know for a fact that the mind plays a large role in sexuality. Novelty, desire, and excitement enhance pleasure. It's as simple as that.

If you're seeing some complex, underlying, gene-driven expressions then where is the evidence? There's inadequate data because of the ethical issues involved. You can mate mice however you please because they're animals. You can't do the same with humans, so you have to extrapolate, guess and deal with subjective data. But what's true for us is not necessarily true for them. Our physiology is unique in the animal kingdom. I may not even be able to perform with you because I have a conscience and lack a penile bone. A chimp wouldn't have that issue.

[Palerider]

I see that you take an Ockham's Razor approach to this. Fair enough. I can see where you're coming from as such. But what about what Alex said above about his friend having an almost primal urge to inseminate his wife after seeing her inseminated by another man?

You cite ethical concerns as a reason why such studies haven been exhaustively done. That's probably true, but our cultural morals are rapidly changing these days and I can easily see a study conducted in which such data is collected. My husband and I would volunteer! LOL

If you ejaculated into me and my husband ejaculated into me five minutes later, there would be a clear winner in terms of which one of you would fertilize my egg. Are you saying this isn't competition? If I had an orgasm with you and not with my husband, then that's obviously a selection mechanism--my body preferring your sperm over my husband's.

Anyway, I'm not trying to be combative. Just throwing this out for consideration. The whole subject intrigues me and turns me on a bit. I hope I haven't caused you to stumble by injecting you into my scenarios above.

[Stillness]

His friend's urge is anecdotal. That's exactly the kind of subjective approach I was talking about. He gets off on this kind of stuff like you do so it makes him feel sexual. There's no question that sexuality is strongly connected to reproduction.

The idea of someone else touching my wife is disgusting to me. My urge would be to dismiss her as an unsuitable mate and potential mother to my children. How would you explain that? For me it's simply culture and individual preference. The gene-driven belief is redundant or doesn't fit.

The sperm competition theories I was talking about deal with the subconscious responses of the body to competition or potential competition, not the sperm themselves. And your body's response is not obviously a selection mechanism. What it obviously is is a mental phenomenon. A woman could have those same responses to someone she knew to be an inferior mate and father and had no desire to reproduce with. He might simply be more skilled at giving her orgasms, more exciting, or both. I do believe in natural selection shaping human physiology, I just don't think it has much of a role here.