[caster]

Take the kids out of the equation Caussie and we're in the exact same spot, so I don't think it's just the stress of kids, we don't have any, and my wife sounds exactly like yours, used to be very open and adventurous in regards to sex, now it almost seems like another chore to her.
FWIW I think it's great she used her toy and told you about it, I've tried for years to get my wife to do that.

I don't have any answers, I have the same questions and I've also tried the same things you suggest. I'm not sure a women that's "lost the passion for sex" can ever get it back, I've yet to read here of any and this is the most open female forum I know of. It's like now that it's gone they're ok with that, it frees up time and energy for things they consider more important.
For men there's not much more important than making love to the woman you love and chose to spend the rest of your life with.

[Guest]

hi guys

I don't have any answers, I have the same questions and I've also tried the same things you suggest. I'm not sure a women that's "lost the passion for sex" can ever get it back

i don't agree

Passion for sex is not lost it is submerged,

it is our duty to bring that out

[time2discover]

I totally agree with you Tulip. We all have a need for passion but aren't always aware of it.
It's there!

[Guest]

i just experienced it last weekend,

CALM AFTER A STORM

i just attended to all her need in and out of house, kind words, words of appreciation ( work or beauty etc),

and the reward is huge ( what u want exactly)

[Rhonda14]

My relationship with my husband and his with me is the most important relationship of all. One day (for us we have one more child to go) the kids will be grown and gone and if you don't nurture your marriage then it will fall apart once the kids are gone. You will end up married to a stranger when in actuality that time once the kids are grown and out of the house should be the time of your life or so I think. Hell who am I kidding I think every day is the time of our life. No one is gauranteed tomorrow so make the most of today, that is my motto.


I have no advice for you because I couldn't imagine not having sex with my hubby or only once a month.

[caster]

i just experienced it last weekend,

CALM AFTER A STORM

i just attended to all her need in and out of house, kind words, words of appreciation ( work or beauty etc),

and the reward is huge ( what u want exactly)

I disagree with that approach, I don't want a "reward", I want my passionate wife back. Nothing has changed over the years like; the help around the house, the kind words, etc... the only thing that's changed is she no longer has much interest in sex, sounds like Caussie is the same. We're already doing the things we're "supposed" to and then some.

As far as it being submerged, that's possible, but unless she wants to bring it to the surface there's not much we can do to get them to, unless you ladies that have gone through this have some secrets to share.

[Rhonda14]

I disagree with that approach, I don't want a "reward", I want my passionate wife back. Nothing has changed over the years like; the help around the house, the kind words, etc... the only thing that's changed is she no longer has much interest in sex, sounds like Caussie is the same. We're already doing the things we're "supposed" to and then some.

As far as it being submerged, that's possible, but unless she wants to bring it to the surface there's not much we can do to get them to, unless you ladies that have gone through this have some secrets to share.

How old is your wife? All women are different and some can start going through the change fairly young late 30's even.

[caster]

She's 51 and started menopause a few years ago, but the big sex drop of was about 10-12 years ago. It just ceased to be important to her any longer.
She knows it's still very important to me and that I would gladly do anything she askes, she sometimes tries when she knows I'm getting annoyed, but it's never sustained, just long enough to make me happy for awhile. Problem is; most men don't want an "accomodating" wife, we want a participating wife, which she used to be.

[time2discover]

Well I definitely think eliminating the age issue. I bloomed sexually at 40 and am still growing
and learning. I've talked to alot of women, including on this forum, and most would tell you
they actually become more aware and happy sexually after the children grow up. Some others
were and are from the get go!

Since in this case she was open and active, there has to be an issue for her. The tough part is
getting a woman who doesn't see this or admit it to herself, to accept it. The more a man will
tell you the more she will kick back. She has to see what the problem is for herself. But how?
We call this a trigger effect. In my case my husband cheating on me was the trigger, but it
all depends what the root of the problem is. She doesn't like herself physically anymore? She
thinks that menopause means she's not a true woman anymore?(lots of women think that)
It could be a million things, only she knows.

[Caussie]

In my case, my wife admits that she has a problem with her sex drive. She has said that I need to back off and let her come to me when she is ready. I think her using her toy is an attempt by her to find her self again sexually. For that reason I am very happy to hear that she is using it however I don't want to be replaced by it. I am just hoping that the more I ignore my urges to come on to her the more the tables might turn. I never look at other women when we are walking down the street or shopping etc. You see some guys having a good old perv but I don't. I am thinking I might start. I would love to see a reaction. even a bit of jealousy. I know that sound horrible but I need to know that there is some spark there. The one thing I want more than anything is to give her pleasure, turn her on, see her cum with some reaction. I don't even need it reciprocated. Blah blah blah.......................how I wish there was a fix for this. BTW, patience is not my strong point!