[inquisitive1]

Maybe I should have clarified.
One shouldn't make light of a foreigner's English skills.
But you see, that form is nearly "archaic" in American English, and I don't like to bust it out. Makes me look like a "smarty-pants," for the lack of a better word that wouldn't be censored out.
I apparently didn't make it clear that the whole post wasn't directed to you. Forum netiquette as I learned it dictates that one shouldn't double-post; that's what the edit button is for. Double-posting falsely pads one's post count. Double-quotes are simple to achieve and one can make clear to whom one is speaking. I didn't in this case, and for that I'm sorry.
I see someone desperately looking for answers and a solution. I see someone whose language patterns add up. I see someone afraid to ask her close friends and family for help.
Does it matter if she's 28? Does it matter if she's 58? If she doesn't know about these things and wants an education about it, she deserves an education about it.
In an attempt to continue the discussion in a civil manner ...
Sex doesn't become some devious sort of act before a ring on a finger. I am a huge advocate of premarital sex. Who knows, maybe I'll completely regret it someday, but I don't see any problem with premarital sex inside a devoted relationship.
And personally, I don't think of oral sex as "sex," for exactly the same reason you posted, inquisitive1, there's no "penetration." I considered myself a virgin up until I had full penetrative sex with my ex-fianc?. That's just how we "define" sex these days, I guess. That word has taken on the connotation of "penetration," with "sexual acts" taking the place of what you're describing.
If oral sex is "sex," then I lost my virginity at 15, had more sexual partners than I can count twice on both hands, and never saved anything special for the man I was going to marry. I just don't agree with any part of that. I was a virgin until 18, I've only had 2 partners, and I saved something very precious and special for someone special.
Maybe it's a defense mechanism my generation is employing because we are engaging in riskier behaviors. Words carry a great deal of power.
So, according to my definition, I saved myself for a ring, and that ring failed me, as many do. People lie, people leave, and people change. Marriage is not what it used to be, whether it be thanks to one of the people or both. I think that's why views on premarital sex have changed.
And I would like to hear other people's opinions on that.

Hello little-

Thank you for the clarity on the "English" comment. I agree with most of what you just posted. I am not a mean person....it's just not my nature....I do not have it in me. I have posted my reasons for why I believe it is possible (if not probable) this could happen with a 28 year old. I still do not believe she is 28 years old. As I said before no matter what the age....anyone asking questions of this nature has a very limited sex education. I have an open offer to help Narmeen with any questions regarding sex education. I have not rescinded the offer. The offer has not been deleted or removed. The reason I still have it posted is just in case it is a sincere cry for help. I would not want anyone in that position to continue in a sexually uneducated state. Because who knows what could happen as a result of not helping them. As a mom I could not do that to anyone. With that being said....I stand by my earlier comment. This just does not add up to me. I pray that if this is sincere....you can help Narmeen because she seems to respond to you.

In terms of the oral sex comment directed towards teenagers....that is still alarming to me. These children feel as though they are not at risk for S.T.D.'s and it is not sexual activity. Somehow because it's not penetration it's an okay and fun thing to do. No, it is not penetration....but it is sexual activity. Sexual activity comes with emotional consequences for most people....especially females. Most of the teenage oral sex is female on male. These children think they are just having some fun and are too young to grasp this yet. No child should be having casual sexual activity. These comments were not directed at you. How would I have any knowledge of your sexual history? Even if I did know I can't judge you or anyone else. I am not God....that's his domain not mine. I'm talking about middle and high school aged teenage children. Children that are not legally old enough to consent to sex. Honestly....I don't believe in premarital sex....but I have done it. Not proud of it but it is what it is. In my heart I feel if I hadn't done it then I would not have put myself in the situation that lead to the ugliness that happened to me. I'm not suggesting that gave him the right to do what he did to me. I am just saying I must take my weight in the situation.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Regarding CarolineWH ...

Why should children be ashamed of their sexuality?

I know at 14 my fantasies were far from innocent, I just lacked a willing partner. Whatever, if they're happy then I don't see why it's doing any harm.

I think partnering up for oral sex at a party's a great idea.

[sourpuss]

I think it would be a good idea for admin to put a stick in the sex forum listing the ways you can in fact get pregnant. Like a 'truth' vs 'myth' list.
These same questions are asked over and over. Makes me wonder what in the world has happened to sex education.

[Little]

The conservative government happened to it. You see on TV that banana and condom? No way, I was taught about abstinence-only, a few STDs, and that a girl has "one hole for pee and the other one for vaginal blood" in her vagina.
Sex what?
Like I implied in my other post, school-aged children these days have to fend for themselves as far as sex is concerned.

[sourpuss]

The conservative government happened to it. You see on TV that banana and condom? No way, I was taught about abstinence-only, a few STDs, and that a girl has "one hole for pee and the other one for vaginal blood" in her vagina.
Sex what?
Like I implied in my other post, school-aged children these days have to fend for themselves as far as sex is concerned.

True. Sad, but true. ****, no wonder kids are going crazy and have sex so young. That one really back fired on the right wingers.

[laney]

narmeen in all seriosness,im not sure like the others said that you are ready for any kind of forplay or sex. you should talk to your gynecologist about these questions.if i may how old are you,are you old enough to be having sex?hopefully so, and you will go talk to your docter if you cant talk to your parents.best of luck and be smart about this issue.sex is not something to take lightly.if you dont know the anwseres to the questions your asking im sure you wouldnt know how to take care of a child either,it doesnt sound like the b.f. is willing .that would be an all to sad but familiar situation that happens in this world.

[C]

Regarding CarolineWH ...

Why should children be ashamed of their sexuality?

I know at 14 my fantasies were far from innocent, I just lacked a willing partner. Whatever, if they're happy then I don't see why it's doing any harm.

I think partnering up for oral sex at a party's a great idea.

I am so far from a prude that it is a joke but for you to say that kids of 13 and 14 should partner up and have oral sex at a party is sick. This kind of action does nothing but get you in trouble. You are playing with fire before these kids are able to put it out. One thing leads to another and soon they not only lose respect for their bodies but make sex a game of spin the bottle.

I am happy that I lived my teen age years and knew the innocence of growing up. With 12 years in parochial school I was taught values. I saved it for my sailor and he got it. Dated many men but I was a hands off woman and commanded it....

In my opinion sex is not something that a child should be taught to do for it is far bigger than any youngster of that age can handle. It is even hard on many adults and women. That is why so many marriages fail. It is hot and passionate and not a casual take your pants down and play with me and lick me party time.

[laney]

this is scary to me also.i have a tweve year old.the things they hear on the radio and see on t.v. and everywhere else.society is the reason they act like this.life around them is not what it was when we were young.respect love the things we were tought by everyone even our teachers and so fourth isnt taught anymore.hell teachers are now having sex with our children.how else are they supposed to act.you can protect them to a cretain degree,but times are changing and as a result our children are suffering.i mean what do you do homeschool your child and then hope when you let them out into society they can make their way ???what do you do?i heard a song on the radio and some of the words were you better suck and swallow bla bla bla it just got worse what the hell is this?i just feel sorry for our youth.educate that all we as parents can do.

[Guest]

This has been asked and answered over in the Pregnancy Subforum before it was asked in the Sex Subforum. Asked and answered on the same day as this thread was posted....after receiving answers over in the PS. Asked by the same user and answered....very well by two regular users....Ravsoma and Sourpuss.

Double Yuu Tee Eff... What?! Where did I come in? -so lost-

I swear... can someone sum of the past 3 pages for me. I have no idea what's going on.

And what the hell is a rainbow party? Is that like a little sex party for kids or summat? O_o

[Little]

A rainbow party is where multiple girls put on different colors of lipstick and give one guy a blow job, so his **** is multiple colors. It's a sickening idea, huh? Like I said, I haven't heard of it except in magazines.
You answered her question in another forum.
Homeschooling causes kids to not be able to socialize with their peers. They end up sheltered and working at McDonalds for the rest of their lives, or whatever job mommy and daddy can get for them. I have only met one or two homeschooled people who came out alright, and a psychological survey's worth of ones who just didn't know how to relate. I am very against homeschooling. The parents can[should] be involved without being overprotective.
Teach your children morals. Let them learn about the physical processes of sex and make sure that they know it's a sweet and sacred act, one they should save for someone they really love.
It's impossible to just tell people, of any age group, to abstain just because you say. When I was 16, my love for my ex-boyfriend was very strong, but the moment was just never right for sex. If I had lost my virginity to him, I don't think I would regret it now.
The problem with young people and sex is that we're all changing constantly.
Who I was at age 16, who I was at 18, who I was six months ago is different than who I am today. Does that change in adulthood? I don't know; I'm not there yet. But people my age say forever when they don't know who the other person is going to be in six months. We are all changing; that's what we're supposed to do and unfortunately we get hurt in the process.
There will always be the child who smokes when the warnings are out there. There will be drug users. And similarly there will be girls and boys who engage in sexual activity knowing all the consequences just to experience it themselves.
Young people are people nonetheless, I don't think it's some "sad thing" that we're engaging in sex, though I agree that middle school age, or even through most of high school is too young, but nobody can make a choice for a whole age group. Women used to get married off at 14, and yet the entire population of the world wasn't shut up in asylums.
The world has changed since then, obviously, but it's a worthwhile thing to think about; your thoughts didn't start appearing at age 18, or age 21, 25, etc.
You had hopes, dreams, and opinions when you were 5 and I'm sure at least some of them were valid.