[darkraven]

Hello, I am male, 42 and been married for 16 years. My Wife is 46.

She says that in the 16 years we have been together she has never masturbated. She said she used to very rarely before we met.
Is this even possible? I thought I would ask of of you women if any of you are like this? We have a nice sex life and have sex at 6 to 8 times a month. She says she does not need to masturbate because she has me, of course, me being a guy, I guess maybe I would like to picture her masturbating.

Also, I have tried many times to introduce dildo, vibrators, etc and use them on her but she hates them.
She always tells me that nothing compares to getting it hard from behind from me.

Are there any of you who have a normal sex drive and just never masturbate? What are the chances she is lying?"

[jns]

The 6 to 8 times a month sounds like it is fulfilling her requirements and so she doesn't masturbate. She gets all of the sex she requires. Don't look this gift horse in the mouth. Most guys would be extremely happy with those statistics this far into a relationship. What is the point of masturbating if you are fulfilled?

[lotos]

I masturbate only when I am single. When I have a sex partner, I don't feel the need to masturbate and even if I try, I don't get pleasure from the masturbation. But, when I have a partner and I don't get enough sex, I masturbate. So, yes, most certainly your wife is satisfied and doesn't have the need to masturbate. You should be happy.

Also, I have female friends who never masturbate, even when single. And the use of sex toys simply doesn't appeal to some women, as it does not appeal to some men. But if you want to try something different, talk to her and let her choose what it will be.

[Stillness]

Everything else pales in comparison to the great pleasure that your penis brings your wife so much that it's not even worth her time to fool around with anything that's not you. I feel so sorry for you.

I'm going to guess that she orgasms from intercourse alone too? A theory has been developed around here that most women who climax from penetration view every other pleasure as inferior. My wife explained to me what it feels like when I was asking about wanting to do other things. It made me feel like I have a wonderful rod of joy dangling between my legs. I stopped worrying about the other stuff.

[antsinmypants26]

Coming from a younger woman, I personally don't masturbate. I have an extremely high sex drive, and I'm in a long distance relationship, but like a few others said, nothing compares to the feeling of sex and climaxing when I'm with my boyfriend. If I were only having sex 6-8 times month, this may be different, but I typically take my boyfriend to bed at least three times a week. Either way you should take it as a compliment that you satisfy her so immensely that she doesn't have the urge to feel those sensations without you present.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Let's view what is masturbation? A need to get off, on urges. Yes?

You have a healthy sex life, she is happy with her intimacy with you she doesn't need to masturbate.

I think what you may be trying to state is that whilst it is a healthy sexual relation, you want her to masturbate use dildos etc.. .And you are frustrated that she is simply happy with her sexual relation with you.

Let me ask you a question do you? Do you watch Porn? Are you un-happy? Are you after a more adventurous sex life with her?

Is this your real question ? If you don't mind me asking because this is what I read...

As you talk masturbation and dildos and she is not interested in either.

If you are asking after this can she get that way, adventurous my answer with my opinion would be only if you made her feel she is all woman, sexy, beautiful, it's not for you but for her to explore her body in comfort with you as you love her and want her to be herself, that kitten that is, well hidden.

CW

[JonDoe]

My wife and I are 4 years older than you and we have been married a bit longer as well. My wife said she never masturbated too. I found it hard to believe, but took her word for it for many years. I later learned she was dishonest with me, but it wasn't until I walked in on her masturbating a few times before she eventually spoke the truth (at least partially).

In the first 10 years or so of our marriage, I found her getting off from the water faucet in the tub several times, but never let her know that I knew because I respected her privacy. Last year, I walked in on her masturbating several times in the span of a few weeks when she was reading the 50 Shades books. Each time she was ****ed at me instead of inviting me to join in. In fact, when I told her that was a huge turn on for me, she still refused to engage. A few months later, she reluctantly confided (after long talks about open communication, honesty and trust) that she finished masturbating when I left the room after she rejected me. Shortly after, I woke up one night to up to her masturbating in bed next to me, again after she had rejected me earlier that evening. She claims that was the only time, but I find it hard to believe, especially since she has been dishonest about it all this time.

When we talked about it, she said this was very new to her, something she just started experimenting with while reading the 50 Shades books. However, she later said she has been doing it for about 10 years. She also tried telling me that getting off to the water in the tub isn't masturbating. Crazy, I know!

My wife also claimed that she doesn't have any fantasies, and that proved to be untrue as well. She (reluctantly) shared that she sometimes thinks about a woman going down on her while I am giving her oral. Again, a huge turn on for me, and glad she finally shared it with me. However, now I second guess if she is telling the truth about other things.

I share this not to imply that your wife is lying, but to provide an example of someone in a similar relationship that found out his wife was dishonest about it.

[Claret]

I guess I'm of the "old school" here and just need to interject with "So what!". So what if she masturbates, so what if she has never told you, so what that she was caught masturbating and had previously told you she never did, so what if this is something she does for herself and herself only? So what is the harm? So what if she keeps her fantasies to herself? So what if she thinks about women now and again?
So what?
I ask all this because maybe, just maybe, your wives require some time to themselves, doing something for themselves and not having to focus on anyone else. Give the ladies a break, allow them their own time, their own space. It doesn't take away anything from you and may indeed add some knowledge that your wives need in order to satisfy themselves better and you by knowing their own bodies. I've been married 30 years, I still have some secrets that I will and do disclose to my husband when and if I feel like it, not when he necessarily demands it of me (not that he would, he has his private thoughts and actions as well).

[JonDoe]

...allow them their own time, their own space. It doesn't take away anything from you... I still have some secrets that I will and do disclose to my husband when and if I feel like it, not when he necessarily demands it of me...

I give my wife plenty of time and space, and have no problems if she masturbates and/or fantasizes about women (or men) from time to time. However, if she is masturbating and rejecting me, then I have a BIG problem with it.

I never demand anything of my wife, in or outside the bedroom. I love and respect my wife, but am disappointed that we are not more intimate. My wife openly admits that she puts too many people and activities above our intimacy, and agrees this is wrong and it hurts our relationship.

I know she is dishonest about purchases for herself too. Either saying "these are old" or saying she spent less money than she did. "So what?", you say. I say honesty is a BIG deal.

[Claret]

I agree honesty is a must in a relationship when it comes to daily life, expenses etc, but private thoughts can be kept just that - private. I also agree, that if her masturbation is taking away from the intimacy between the two of you then it's an intrusive act into your marriage. One thing my ex-mother-in-law said to me that made a lot of sense when she said it. We were talking about children and how they lie as a matter of self protection. My mother-in-law said "never give a child a chance to lie, don't ask "if they did something" you state "you did this". In other words, if you know the answer already why ask the question. It works the same with adults. If you know she has purchased something, don't ask did you, tell her you know she did. Don't ask how much, ask for the bill.
My so what comments had to do only with the wives masturbating. They need to be able to do this in their own time and space without being made to feel they are doing something wrong.