[Obelisk]

You may think its "super easy" to be a good lover, but if you read the posts here its sounds like most men are not all that good in bed

Which really is baffling to me. Maybe most men really do think it's all about stick it in and that's it.

You worry that a woman might some day want to experience a bigger penis. Why not worry that she would want to experience a more skilled lover, or a lover of different ethnicity, or better stamina, or another woman, or someone who looks like Adonis.

I think the novelty factor is what I have working against me here. I'm not worried about a more skilled lover because I can learn. A lover of different ethnicity? Well it's possible. Better stamina? If that's an issue, there's techniques and even medications to help. Another woman? lol well if the woman I'm dating is a lesbian I don't think any size penis will matter to her. Someone who looks like Adonis? I don't look like Adonis right now, but close. I can lose another 10lbs of fat and get defined.

So out of those, ethnicity and penis size are the ones mostly out of my control.

If she really wants to know what a big penis feels like, she can use a toy

Well that brings other issues. I'm not against toys, but if my woman needs one a lot bigger than what I have to get off always, hmm, maybe I'm not the right fit for her then.

Why "worry" so much about something you cannot appreciably change and invest that time and energy into the things you CAN change

What's interesting is that I've found out I can change it, and already working on doing so.

... things that matter much more to a long term loving relationship anyway?

Ok, I'm trying to think back to the women I've dated in the past. I don't think I remember any that seemed to genuinely like my personality and wanted a partner in life. Most have been interested primarily in these fantasies they have in their heads about a bunch of kids running around in a big house, while dad works away to bring the bacon home. I can't provide that because it's not what I want in my life. So if I can't provide that, and I can't provide women with a great sexual experience, then I might as well just get out of the game completely.

Maybe your lack of confidence is the real culprit in why women don't stick around? Most women do not find insecure men sexy.

Hmm, I've always been a "fake it 'till you make it" kind of guy. Most of my dates didn't really go anywhere. The others I've ended myself. Just had kind of a fight with the last girl I was dating. She wants me to keep spending money on dates, taking her to movies and restaurants, even though we already discussed that she wants kids and I don't. So the last time we spoke was basically "why don't you want to go out?" and I just told her I didn't feel like spending more money on something that's not going to go anywhere.

I think for me, most of the time I just think statistically how many women are likely to have slept with much bigger dudes. The internet wreaked havoc on me regarding my previous beliefs in that aspect. It's still statistically impossible for all women to have had much bigger than me (thankfully I'm average and not tiny even if I do, right now, feel tiny). So I swallow the fear and move forward. Still, threads like these don't help:

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/sex/4404-my-husbands-penis.html

I guess I feel these huge dudes are robbing me of something I wanted to provide for the girl. Being a "nice guy" and "good lover" to me are lame substitutions. It's almost like I'm saying "sorry I'm small, but I'll make it up with technique".

Anyway, bright side is that there are ways to control my chances of finding the type of woman I need to find. The kids things is actually a much harder obstacle.

And with that I'm officially out of this topic

[Little]

A_dub - I'm talking more about how much blood there is in the penis. Flexibility when erect may have something to do with the level of engorgement, but I have not particularly noticed it. Sometimes a penis will, subdermally, be like a steel baseball bat - sometimes it will have more of a silicone sex toy texture, or even be softer. I probably subconsciously think the guy is more "into" the sex act if he's harder, but physically it is more enjoyable too.

Somerandomguy - after about 4" of penile length, at which point my magical tenting A-spot is engaged (I think this spot was mentioned at some point in the long discussion,) I don't care and the inches are actually pretty useless. Read over my list of attributes I prefer in a penis over length.

Obelisk - I think novelty would start with 7". Maybe shorter if the girth were impressive. If you want to talk about what other people on the internet have told you, I would redirect you to the idea that people SUCK at measuring. There was a woman on this very forum a few years back (maybe 2008?) who swore she was with 23-inchers on the regular. Those don't exist in humans, but she was talking about humans and was not mistaking inches for centimeters. She is not alone. Let the size queens have their delusions.

Honestly, if you're getting women who are nitpicky about your equipment when it's not in the micro category, that sucks. It must be very hurtful and confidence-breaking. I struggled for a while with the size of my stuff and how difficult it was to have non-painful penetrative sex, and all I can say to fix your thoughts is to replace them with actions. Not so easy if, like Obelisk, you would like to limit your number of sex partners before finding someone you want to have a long-term relationship with.

[atskitty2]

Why "worry" so much about something you cannot appreciably change and invest that time and energy into the things you CAN change... things that matter much more to a long term loving relationship anyway?
Maybe your lack of confidence is the real culprit in why women don't stick around? Most women do not find insecure men sexy.

[rcoreyus]

You may think its "super easy" to be a good lover, but if you read the posts here its sounds like most men are not all that good in bed. If you are, then concentrate on that - pretty much all of the women hear have said that being a good lover is much more important than penis size. If you are in the top 5% of lovers, then women aren't going to care that you are in the bottom 25% in penis size (if you are).

You worry that a woman might some day want to experience a bigger penis. Why not worry that she would want to experience a more skilled lover, or a lover of different ethnicity, or better stamina, or another woman, or someone who looks like Adonis.

If she really wants to know what a big penis feels like, she can use a toy. For all the other things I list she would need to find a different person - isn't that worse?

Forgot to add:

By Little's standards, I'm closer to the "large" side for her. Yet I now feel small because of all the wild internet claims everyone seems to make. It's not good enough for me to be a "good lover". That's chickenfeed stuff. Super easy.

Even so what choice do I have. Even if I can increase my size, it will take a while, results are unknown, and I still may not get a "wow" factor even then.

As for age to find someone, it's actually not that bad being alone. It's been sort of a mixed blessing. I just don't want to end up the last choice of a woman who has super high standards, never found a man, and now I'm there and available in my mid/late 40's. I think by then I will really have closed myself off. My size definitely won't matter then.

[Obelisk]

You know that our bodies change to accommodate what we want is a good lover, good husband, a best friend and communication, a must.

I haven't seen this personally with any of the women I have dated, ever.
Perhaps age is the factor? I really have no idea at this point.

I will not become the 45 year old who "finally" has found his woman after decades of having nothing. I rather stay with nothing by that point.

I'm thinking of giving up now.

A-HA! I knew it! Iknewit! I! KNEW! IT! - Penis size DOES matter; women just will not admit to it out loud. If they did, they would scare off all the non-novelty guys (about 80-90% of men?) which would result in less sex for them. I mean it is better to ride an old horse than to be forced to walk, right?

lol I don't think this was ever secret knowledge man.

What's non-novelty anyway? less than 7"? I still don't have answers to these questions, other than it depends on the woman, and even then they won't care if you are a good man (which is kind of a "shifty" answer IMO)

"Novelty" to me means that it's the preferred size if the guy was a good guy. Somehow the assumption is that larger guys are going to be dicks. Not sure where this is coming from, this seems to be the rebuttal to our questions always. "Just be a good guy and don't' worry about your size"

I still find it hard to believe that a good guy with 8" and a good guy with 4" will be seen exactly the same. Maybe I'm looking at it with "man" glasses when there are some "woman" glasses that do not register the physical difference? Heck I don't know anymore, I am super confused.

If your potential sex partner has the personality down, would you not prefer his penis to be as large as comfortably possible?

I would "imagine" this is the case. Again, are we seeing it with "man" glasses when there are mysterious "woman" glasses that do not register the size difference?

Also, this goes back to my fear of rejection. What if the girl is not experienced and wants to find out how a large one feels? Should I live in fear she might break up or cheat on me because she lacks experience?

I've thought about this myself. I could be an awesome lover, but the girl wants to experience a 9" **** and I can't give her that, so she will be predisposed to cheat

I just did a quick search and found a ton of threads regarding the matter, such as:

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/sex/25763-penis-extenders.html

Personally I think it's time to butt out of the conversation. I know I'm small and that's all there is to it. Best thing to do is to try to find a woman who is also small, so that she won't feel like she's missing out as much as a larger woman. And from the other side just keep working on increasing my size if possible.

[somerandomguy]

At all - maybe a teeny tiny bit? Just a smidge?

A-HA! I knew it! Iknewit! I! KNEW! IT! - Penis size DOES matter; women just will not admit to it out loud. If they did, they would scare off all the non-novelty guys (about 80-90% of men?) which would result in less sex for them. I mean it is better to ride an old horse than to be forced to walk, right?

Kidding aside though (or am I?), read below.

Probably not so if the woman choosing has experienced a large penis - as I mentioned in one of the recent predecessors to this thread, a larger than average size is a novelty that I might have been interested in trying out had I never run across one, but I have ... and I found above-average penises to be so similar to average-sized ones as to be indistinguishable. In years and years (and years!) of these threads, the only penis sizes I've heard of that might not be preferable are in the category of micropenises. Not below average - not average - but so small as to be statistically unlikely. Just like the penises you guys are wishing for that are so large as to be statistically unlikely. Agreed. Even when I was having casual sex and wasn't interested in a relationship, a partner's personality was still part of the equation. It wouldn't matter how attractive/well-endowed a guy was if I couldn't stand him while I was trying to get dressed again.

If your potential sex partner has the personality down, would you not prefer his penis to be as large as comfortably possible?

Also, this goes back to my fear of rejection. What if the girl is not experienced and wants to find out how a large one feels? Should I live in fear she might break up or cheat on me because she lacks experience?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I said it before and I'll say it again.

Maturity as Little would also agree changes your way of thinking as a "girl"...trying to become a woman.

A woman is after so much more, so much more...

You know that our bodies change to accommodate what we want is a good lover, good husband, a best friend and communication, a must.

I can tell my fiancé anything... I can laugh with him, he is a good lover, he will be a great husband and he is my best friend.

If I was honest, I love watching him have a shower.. I can't work out why it's half up all the time Staying power is probably too long for me. But then, age remember. As in he is 50. But he certainly can do it as much or as less as I want.

You are at a great age. Chill

[Obelisk]

Forgot to add:

By Little's standards, I'm closer to the "large" side for her. Yet I now feel small because of all the wild internet claims everyone seems to make. It's not good enough for me to be a "good lover". That's chickenfeed stuff. Super easy.

Even so what choice do I have. Even if I can increase my size, it will take a while, results are unknown, and I still may not get a "wow" factor even then.

As for age to find someone, it's actually not that bad being alone. It's been sort of a mixed blessing. I just don't want to end up the last choice of a woman who has super high standards, never found a man, and now I'm there and available in my mid/late 40's. I think by then I will really have closed myself off. My size definitely won't matter then.

[Obelisk]

I'm kind of burnt out on the whole topic. All I know is I feel inadequate with what I have. I guess Chandler's Wish is right, I want the "wow" factor when a girl sees my stuff, the same way they go "wow" when they see the rest of me. Sucks being a perfectionist.

[a_dub]

Little, please define "very hard erection".

Do you mean more the "stiffness" of the erection? For example, my penis when erect is very stiff. It doesn't point straight up (ie the 12 oclock position if you were looking from the side) but it points more so at the 1 oclock position. However, its very stiff in the sense that if pulled down, it can only comfortably go to the 2 oclock position, and with some discomfort can go to 3 oclock (ie point straight forward). Its painful to 3:15, and impossible to go anything more than 3:30.

In porn, I've seen guys who's penises seem to go the 4 oclock or even 5 oclock position, seemingly with ease. I've always wondered if my penis is abnormally stiff, or if the guys who can do that aren't fully erect.

What has your experience been since you've handled "scores" of penises, and I've only handled the one?