[Lovcookie]

My GF introduced me to a few threesomes. For the most part it was great. No real jealousy and clean exciting experiences. Well the first three went this way and the fourth started out great too. This summer my GF who was not that into fitness was becoming very interested in fitness. This other woman was a serious steady gym goer and hiker. The two were working out 4 and 5 times a week. This started even before our sexual threesome. After a few threesome encounters with this woman we each had sex with this woman on our own (with consent). The sex with this woman was wild. My GF seemed to feel slightly left out at times. One day my GF introduced me to her step sister for threesome sex. Her step sister was my gf's first same sex experience has a teenager. The step sister is a lesbian. After that experience I stopped getting involved with the other woman and stopped threesomes. The other woman wanted to continue but I could not. My GF still works out with her and they sometimes get it on. I like the fact that this other woman motivates my GF for fitness. I still have sex with my GF often. I feel the other women is sticking to me that she ****s my GF but I don't tell my GF that because she is enjoying the relationship. We have pretty good communication but I felt I should allow the other partner some sexual freedom. I can handle it because I know whats going on. I realized I stopped having sex with this other woman because my GF who is usually not at all jealous was actually at tad jealous. My GF tells me I am welcome to join them in a threesome but at this time I am not willing to go back in that direction. My GF offered to bring in her step sister again. She told me that even though her step sister is a lesbian she would have sex with me in a flash. Her step sister lives in another town not too far away. She is a fairly attractive women but not my type. I considered it but to be honest only because I thought of her ***** which was the tightest ***** I ever experienced. Not the best reason. I would cum quickly because I would not care except for myself which usually not my way.

What was once exciting is now a small torn in our relationship. I figure I have three choices. 1)Tell my GF to stop ****ing this other women and for us to try a normal life for a while. 2) Join in the threesome again. 3) **** her stepsister and feel like a prick.

[jen1447]

I think you're quite wrong. First of all you don't get to tell your girlfriend to stop anything (or if you do and she allows it, shame on you both). What you can do is tell her you're uncomfortable with the arrangement and (assuming this is true) that it may threaten your future if she doesn't end it. The decision will be up to her, you just have to figure out if it's a deal-breaker for you.

To be honest, this situation does sound dysfunctional. Threesomes alone can be difficult terrain, but threesome-based ongoing relationships can be a minefield. Throw in your GF's jealousy (being jealous of your BF having sex that you arranged with your GF is really bizarre and double-standard-ish) and your feelings of insecurity - and this strange twist of the step sister (too close of a relation for sex IMO, blood relative or not) - and this is just a boiling pot.

I'd sit your girlfriend down and tell her how you feel. Make sure you determine what your boundaries are first and tell her those in no uncertain terms. (Not demands, just things you can't live with that may by extension end the relationship for you.) Then be prepared to really leave if you can't come to a suitable agreement about it all. You may not get to dictate the terms, but you also don't have to be an unwilling party to your girlfriend's lifestyle either.

[Lovcookie]

Actually the first time (to my knowledge) my GF and this other woman (call her the blonde) had sex was just before I got home where we all had our first threesome together. When we had the threesomes my GF show no signs of jealously. She was the one who set it up and loved it. Only when we had sex individually with this blonde a few times did this tad jealously seem to creep in. My GF seems to have a thing if you will for this blonde. More then I do. When I was having more one on ones with the blonde then she did is when she brought her step sister in. No they are not blood related at all. My GF's Dad and the Step sisters mother is the connection. My GF is straight with bi urges while her stepsister says she is and has a track record as a lesbian but has attraction for some males apparently too.

You are correct Jen. I can not and should not demand anything. It would only backfire. It is not really my nature to demand anyways. My GF encourages me to do her step sister which speaks to me she is saying let me do the blonde and you can do my step sister. She still encourage the threesome with the blonde but not the one on one anymore. She does not tell me I can not do the blonde anymore but I can tell she rather I not.

[atskitty2]

So let me be clear first, I do not have experience with threesomes-want that to be known as I give my opinion.

I agree with jen, and I agree that your gf seems to have deeper feelings for the blonde, and I think there is jealousy creeping in.
What I can say, even with no experience is that communication is key. You need to have an honest and completely open discussion about expectations, wants and every single thing that's on your mind. That's the key to any relationship, and especially in circumstances where there are some complicated sexual relations involved.

I understand that a step sibling is not blood related, but that is still a family relationship, regardless. It seems that some boundaries here are not being respected or even acknowledged. Were they older when the parents married? I could understand maybe then, that there was no bond there, or sense of being sisters....

What type of relationship do you have with your gf? Is it a close, friendship based relationship with a commitment? Or is it more sexually based with less goals for a future together? Nothing wrong with either, but It sounds like you two have very different goals and intentions with each other.
Good luck-please keep us posted.

[jen1447]

My GF encourages me to do her step sister which speaks to me she is saying let me do the blonde and you can do my step sister. She still encourage the threesome with the blonde but not the one on one anymore. She does not tell me I can not do the blonde anymore but I can tell she rather I not.

I don't think this type of sexual bargaining is healthy. "You can do x and I can do y and we both get z but not w" etc. ...ug.

I have an open relationship with my boyfriend, but it's not the result of any negotiation. I just told him that to be fulfilled, I needed to sleep with women, and that if I didn't I would be fundamentally unhappy. All true. I gave him the opportunity to say that he couldn't accept that (he didn't), and I didn't lie or negotiate any terms (like he gets ice cream whenever I'm with a girlfriend ). I think that's a much more adult way to go about things than making strange deals. Normally I would say to each their own, but this clearly seems harmful to you in some way. I have to say though that your partial participation in these arrangements doesn't really leave you guilt-free either.

[Stillness]

I have an open relationship with my boyfriend, but it's not the result of any negotiation. I just told him that to be fulfilled, I needed to sleep with women, and that if I didn't I would be fundamentally unhappy.

Does it go both ways, like he can sleep with other people as he pleases? Is there any jealousy on either end?

[jen1447]

It never really came up, because he's interested only in me. It may be a double-standard, but I think the same-sex thing plays a significant role. He doesn't view it as cheating the same way he would if I was sleeping with other men, due to the emotional bond that only he and I (as 'man and woman') share. As for him, I would accept his desire to have other partners if he wanted, though I don't think our relationship would persist if he wanted to sleep with men. That would bother me, not because of the gay aspect but because that's not who he is, and revealing that now would make me suspicious he was hiding other things about himself from me (relationship killer in my book). As far as women go, I would say fair is fair, though like with me, I would want the interaction to be sexual only. The lovey-dovey stuff has to stay between me and him.

I actually offered him the possibility of threesomes (with the women I sleep with if they're agreeable) when we had this discussion, and we have done that a couple times now, but it's not really his thing believe it or not. (He says the 'ultimate male fantasy' thing really doesn't pan out, and ...trying to be diplomatic here ...let's just say he's been there at the start but not at the finish ).

As far as jealousy goes, he really is quite fine with it all. He says he thought about it a lot and realized he was not bothered by it. I would know if he was lying or hiding it, and he isn't. I think this is helped by the fact that I clearly show love and support for him no matter what's going on, and I'm honest about everything. When I go out I'm not sneaking around ...he knows all about it.

lol, it sounds more complicated than it really is. It works for us.

[Lovcookie]

The blonde told me that sex with me was great and much better then with my GF, that my GF is more of a receiver then a giver which is true. Somewhere in there maybe my gf thought my relationship with the blonde was getting to serious (in reality it was not). The blonde prefers men. So does my gf but she admits she is very attracted to this blonde. My GF is Asian and I guess because blondes don't grow on trees she is taking her while she can.

The relationship with the step sisters starter like at age 16. Their sexual encounter started around the first week of them meeting. So that set the stage of their relationship. They were not really lovers though, more like my GF was seduced into something she was not expecting but then love it. It was their secret for sometime.

Jen my question for you is how would you feel if the women you have sex with wanted to have sex with only your husband at times? Could you be comfortable with that? This is sort of like my situation.

[jen1447]

Yeah, it would be fine. Again, as long as they weren't taking my place as his (boyfriend btw - I'm not the marrying type ) 'partner' - don't know how else to put it ...the #1 in a person's life?

rcoreyus pointed something out in another thread that's quite true: as a bi woman, my BF and I both think women are hot, so we can (and often do) size them up together. Just saying that rather than the typical jealousy response some people have when they see their partner eyeing someone else, I would check her out too.

That said, it doesn't get me off to think of him having sex with other women like the kink some other people here seem to have. I'd be moreso like "Oh I want some too."

All that said, I don't think our situations are really very similar, Lovcookie. It sounds like there are issues for both you and your girlfriend.

[Lovcookie]

atskitty. My relationship with my girlfriend has been very good. In the beginning I found her shy and polite and sweet sexy. We call each other things like honey babe etc. We have told each other we love the other but the crazy in love stuff did not completely happen. In the beginning had no idea she had this other side too her. There is something about her in the over all package that I really love. She can really spoil me to the point that I have to admit I could spend the rest of my life with her. What is inlove anyways right? It does not last or does it? Apart of the relationship is lust and it goes both ways she admits. I find she has incredible legs and a voice that that is so sexy. She is a good lover but not a great lover for various reasons. Then she adds the surprise threesome in the mix and blows me away. If there is one tiny sexual thing I wish was different is I wish she was more a giver then a receiver in bed.

Stillness, I think the jealousy exists but is very mild.