[ash89]

Hi guys. It has taken a lot of guts for me to post this. I feel I may be suffering from Vaginismus. But there is a good chance that I have created this problem in my mind.
Let me start off with a little background. I am from a conservative family from India. I was a virgin till I got married. My husband was one too. He was very excited about sex and our wedding night. I was never too excited, but I was pretty okay with it. But somehow, I chanced upon an article on Vaginismus before marriage. And I just believed I had it. To make matters worse, sex was really tough for us. We've been married for more than a year now but he has never been fully inside me. My legs become stiff and i panic when he tries to enter me. I cannot even tolerate the thought of a finger entering me. Inspite of him telling me it will help, I have never let him finger me. I just shut my legs and recoil as soon as he tries. I am still okay with him entering my from behind ( rear entry). Another thing, sometimes I just cant feel like he's inside me, though he says he is.
Help me please. Do I have vaginismus? Or is it something else?

[jen1447]

Hi ash89.

Do you recoil because you don't like the idea of being entered at all, or do you find your husband's advances disagreeable specifically? Also, by "rear entry" do you mean anal or just doggy?

I seem to always say this, but see your doctor. No one here can really diagnose you from afar if you have a real condition, whatever it may be. Good luck.

[ash89]

Hi jen. Thank you for your reply. By rear entry, I mean doggy style.
I guess I should see a doctor. But my husband insists that it's okay and I need to stop worrying.

[Stillness]

I don't understand. When you say you're OK with doggy style does that mean you're comfortable being penetrated from that position?

[ash89]

Yes I'm comfortable with being penetrated from behind, in the sense that I don't feel any panic. But even from behind, he is not able to enter me completely.

[jen1447]

Not really your husband's call IMO. Is there a cultural influence at play here that says he's 'the boss' or something?

[ash89]

Oh no! He's extremely supportive and loving. But this whole issue is depressing me and he doesn't want me to feel guilty or upset.

[jen1447]

No offense but it sounds like he doesn't want to feel guilty or upset. It's your body and issue, ash. The right kind of support from him would be the kind that sees to your needs.

[Stillness]

But even from behind, he is not able to enter me completely.

Why? Does it hurt? Is there something in the way? Do you tense up? Is he saying he's all the way in, but you don't feel anything?

[ash89]

It doesn’t hurt but it's like it just cant ho further. Too tight maybe.