[ash89]

And forcing it to go further hurts.

[Stillness]

Have you had gynecological exams or used tampons?

[ash89]

No. Most people use pads in my country and I've never had a gynecological exam. One of the biggest reasons why I'm putting off going to a doctor is that I dont feel comfortable.
My posts sound so confusing, right? I feel so frustrated

[ash89]

Another thing I want to add, my first experience of being touched down there was when I went for a bikini wax before my wedding. So painful and uncomfortable. Might have scarred me for life :P

[rcoreyus]

Are you able to penetrate yourself with fingers, or other small objects?

If I understand right when he penetrates you from behind he isn't able to go very deep either. I doctor would be the best bet - but I don't know the situation in your country for how difficult this might be. At least in the US, doctors have seen all sorts of issues, would not be at all bothered by this sort of question.

[ash89]

I haven't tried. That's why I feel I may have created this problem in my head.

[tinyclitt]

Well, taking a totally different tack, there's nothing that says you are required to have penetrative sex. You can have a complete and satisfying sex life without ever being penetrated. For instance my husband and I never do any ****ing. We do manual stimulation and oral sex. We're both oral sex fans.

[ash89]

But that's not what I want. I want to be penetrated.

[Stillness]

As fun and stimulating as hands and mouths can be, there is nothing like the real deal for us. Everything else pales in comparison in terms of the connection.

I think you have to stop putting of the exam. There's nothing anyone can do here to diagnose you beyond guessing. That's probably not going to help you much. This is not an uncommon situation. A good doctor will be able to help you.

I have been to the gynecologist with my wife and stayed by her side in the examination room when we had issues we didn't understand. If we had a dilemma like this I would do the same thing. Besides the moral support, it let's all medical staff know that you're tackling the issue together and that it's serious and they must treat it that way. It's that critical that a husband and wife make that connection in my eyes.

The one thing I was wondering is whether or not you had tried alcohol to loosen up, if it's not against your faith.

[honey_bee1389]

I would definitely go to a doctor, it sounds to me like the problem may be mental as well as physical. Try experimenting with your touch om the outside first.