[jen1447]

So, I can't speak freely? Justice can't express how she feels about how she's viewed and treated by other women (and men)? I think we all should.

Of course you can, I'm just asking you to do it within the confines of decency like I described above. Hinting "between the lines" that cat is some kind of shady potentially racist figure is frankly out of line when it's based on benign comments made in a thread that discusses the ins and outs of interracial relationships and attraction. If someone attacked (passive-aggressive as it may have been) you that way, I'd defend you too. She's no monster for making some general observation, and all your attempts to detect "something about her" are going to do is serve to make a productive new member of this forum want to clam up and keep her opinions to herself.

I'd understand if she actually said something overtly racist, but she did nothing of the sort.

[Stillness]

I don't think I said anything indecent. You're ironically reading things into my comment while telling me not to read things into comments.

I didn't say she was a racist monster. What I actually said is that we should be careful reading things into people's comments, just like you're saying, while admitting that I may have done so wrongly. I also said we should take her at her word.

The reason I read between the lines, is because every time that I can recall someone asking a question like that in my presence it has been accompanied with racist (the bad kind) sentiments. They felt free to do it because they counted me as their "brother." I don't think the people who said it were monsters or even that their feelings or comments were unimportant. But that is my experience. I find the racial phenomenon interesting. That's why I engaged in the discussion. But I can see how someone could be offended if they were in an "interracial" relationship or a full-figured woman. That doesn't make it right or logical, but none of this stuff is logical.

At the same time that Justice was offended, I think she was courteous and not accusatory. I tried to be too. The last thing I want to do is stifle the free flow of ideas and discussion. I'm just expressing myself like everyone else.

[jen1447]

Fair enough - I'm sorry for jumping on you. I'd just like to encourage the continued inclusiveness that this forum has always featured and hope cat doesn't take it too personally. If I get a sense that anyone's being 'picked on,' I tend to jump into their corner. I like cat and I think she's a very intelligent, helpful woman with a good heart. (Thank god she answers all those "Am I pregnant?" posts ....I couldn't ever keep up with those in practice or spirit. )

[Stillness]

If I get a sense that anyone's being 'picked on,' I tend to jump into their corner.

I see that. I get you. That's why you're cool with me.

[jns]

The only real phenomenon that I have seen is that the people who are identified as "black" or "African-Americans" have higher obesity rates. As they're developing their sense of what is beautiful, they're looking at bigger people. There are also cultural associations with size and wealth or success. So bigger size is more accepted in that subculture than in the mainstream one.

When a lot people around you are of specific physical characteristics, you tend to be tolerant of such characteristics. What I have found in Southeast Asia is tolerance of larger size in that the words describing larger size don't have the level of negative connotation that similar words in the USA do.

Maybe the first example of a biracial couple should be Clarence and Virginia Thomas, since as a Supreme Court justice, Clarence Thomas is in the very top echelon of government. If you look at Virginia Thomas, you may find that some of the stereotypes not being upheld.

[Justice]

You are basically saying exactly what I was... how am I offending you? You admit that white guys prefer skinnier women, how is that any different than me getting opinions on black men liking the fuller women?

Catwoman - you included a quote - where I was answering your comment Hopefully I am not offending anyone!
and I said that I don't think that was your intent.

Thanks to the other posters and the positive feedback.

Catwoman. I guess it is a subtle difference but observing that different demographic groups appear on average to have a preference, is a little different that opining on the value of those preferences. I am not sure how to exactly word this - but it seemed that a value was being placed "getting opinions on black men liking fuller women" - like what is wrong with them for liking fuller women. As I wrote I don't think it was your intent to offend, but it could be taken that way.

Now if you were asking whether others have also seen a preference, that is a little different than "what do you think about ?? liking ?? " black/white, white/black, black/"obese", fit/fat.....

Thanks

[Stillness]

If you look at Virginia Thomas, you may find that some of the stereotypes not being upheld.

How do you mean? They fit catwoman's stereotype.

[catwoman]

I really didn't mean to stir the pot. I am in no way a racist and I may have said my "opinion" which was the wrong wording, but more of an observation. I'm done with this discussion.

[Stillness]

I'm done with this discussion.

If you ever get around to asking your cousin why she has the preference she does, please do let us know. I'm really curious.

[Justice]

I really didn't mean to stir the pot. I am in no way a racist and I may have said my "opinion" which was the wrong wording, but more of an observation. I'm done with this discussion.

Geez, I did not see anyone say or even imply that you were racist.