[Stillness]

She's slept with multiple, not just the one.

So are we just talking one night stand or booty call situations or actual romantic relationships. I thought it was the latter, but your description now is making it sound likesshe's just having sex with them.

[catwoman]

It's a little of both. She started taking an interest in these men about a year and half ago and since then she's had one night stands, booty calls, and very short romantic relationships. I think she's looking for a romantic relationship, but having some fun while looking.

[jen1447]

It does sound like there's something about the "black" and "man" parts that's appealing to her then.

I think I've detailed elsewhere the allure for me - has a lot to do with confidence. Also I know people like to shrug off the size idea but it's been true from what I've seen.

[Justice]

Larger women I'm meaning "Obese" and I am not saying one bit that bigger women aren't attractive. How you carry yourself makes a huge impact as well. All women are beautiful in one form or another Maybe it's not as common as I think it is, but I guess around here it's hard to find a black man with a thinner woman. Hopefully I am not offending anyone!

Kind of are. Although I don't think that was your intent.
Can't anyone be allowed to be attracted to fuller figured gals without skinny women making everyone feel like freaks? (not saying you are catwoman - but it seems to be common.)

I have been a different sizes but always "stacked". But even when I was just very busty and fit but not thin, most white young men would call me fat. (Oye to be that "fat" now.) I had muscular firm legs, big breasts and some butt; but never a small waist, but much of the time I really was not fat. But starting at that size even when I could almost feel my ribs, I would probably qualify as obese based on BMI. When you start out with a large frame there is not much room to go before you are considered obese. I mean if your frame is a 2 you can gain a hell of a lot and still fit into "normal" sizes. But if your frame is a 14 (joked that my skeleton is a 14), you are in plus sizes with very little movement. And I firmly believe that even at a 14-16 I was in better condition - exercising 10 to 12 hours a week - than some of my skinny friends who at most would walk to the bus stop and would crap out at aerobics class the first 10 minutes. One so-called friend was ticked at how toned my legs were when I was a 16-18 because she was at most a 10-12 with jelly/cellulite legs.

It seems to me that Black men and some Hispanic men have always been much more "approving" of curvier shape(s). I was finally making progress for the first time on an Atkins like diet - despite opposite results on very low-calorie doctor-controlled diets - and a couple of black men and a Hispanic man I knew kept telling me to stop - they liked the curves and butt.

A bunch of people (including my mother) have told me that I have a black girl's a--.; it was not said with any disrespect and often by black people.

Unfortunately, in general I have been more attracted to white guys, and most white guys are more into skinny women.
That guy I had written about in other post complimented my curves and commented that black guys must love me curves. It was very flattering since so many white guys around my age prefer thin women (older guys seemed to also be more interested in curvier (but younger) women. So can thinner women (and other men not make guys seem like freaks if they like bigger women?

On average I think that many black women and more Hispanic women than white seem to have more booty - though I also see a lot of very, very thin woman of color. I wish that there were more variation in what people find attractive. While I can appreciate a "beautiful" man, I have found a whole lot of arrogance that makes "too perfectly pretty" men less attractive to me.



I was once near the back stage at a Chippendale's show - I had to make a work call at a pay phone back when there weren't cell phones. Geez , you should have heard the ugly comments. They target the "old hags" and "cows" because they are so starved for attention that you can rake it in from them. / ugh

[jns]

I think the images from advertising, television and movies is pervasive and cause a lot of young people to conform to the ideals that they are force fed. This is why older men are less likely to be negatively concerned about a full figure. Call it one more example of the ignorance of youth.

[catwoman]

Kind of are. Although I don't think that was your intent.
Can't anyone be allowed to be attracted to fuller figured gals without skinny women making everyone feel like freaks? (not saying you are catwoman - but it seems to be common.)


Unfortunately, in general I have been more attracted to white guys, and most white guys are more into skinny women.
That guy I had written about in other post complimented my curves and commented that black guys must love me curves. It was very flattering since so many white guys around my age prefer thin women (older guys seemed to also be more interested in curvier (but younger) women. So can thinner women (and other men not make guys seem like freaks if they like bigger women?

You are basically saying exactly what I was... how am I offending you? You admit that white guys prefer skinnier women, how is that any different than me getting opinions on black men liking the fuller women?

[Stillness]

Sometimes a question can make a statement. In person, when we have gestures, facial expressions, and intonation it's more clear. With just the written word it's often difficult and words can be read between the lines that aren't really there.

I think that there is something between the lines - what I don't know. That's why I said that the question says something about you. Unless someone is trying to use another person in some way, they're normally with them because they're attracted to them. Why else would they be? When you question why they're together, it's like asking why they're attracted to them. And when you ask that, the implication could be that they're less desirable. I think that's what Justice is picking up on - maybe incorrectly. I got something like that too, but I try not to assume.

It's like when people ask, "Why do rich black athletes marry white women?" Besides being racist, the person asking is typically expressing some displeasure with the situation. Academic curiosity may factor in, but disapproval is in there somewhere.

[catwoman]

I don't have any displeasure with any situation involving two difference races being together, or two different sized people being together. I was not stating that curvy women aren't just as beautiful as thin women and I wasn't stating that only black men like curvy women. I was just wondering the opinion of others, because it seems to be such a common assumption and I was wondering if anyone else sees that stereotype in their area. I see it here...was just wondering if anyone else did. Friendly conversation.

[jen1447]

Um yes, can we tone down the inquisition type stuff please? Personally it's more important to me that we all feel comfortable speaking freely than guarding against any and all impressions of being 'offensive' the slightest bit. This is what happens when one party doesn't hyperanalyze a situation while another does. Human interaction is complex, and searches of what lies "between the lines" aren't really helpful when broadly and randomly applied to whatever pet cause you may have your mind on, because more likely than not it's the level of inspection that's turning up fragments of evidence rather than any tangible blame on the part of your target. We can find specks of guilt for almost anything if we look hard enough.

[Stillness]

So, I can't speak freely? Justice can't express how she feels about how she's viewed and treated by other women (and men)? I think we all should. I also think we should take catwoman at her word when she says it was friendly conversation.

I was wondering if anyone else sees that stereotype in their area.

Stereotypes are imprecise generalizations that occur in the mind, not in real life. I have heard stereotypes like "black men are with obese white women" expressed in my area. I don't know if I've heard that particular one, though. The ballplayer one comes to mind, or it's cousin, "When a black guy get's money the first thing he gets is a white woman." I think that I have heard "black men always choose ugly white women."

The only real phenomenon that I have seen is that the people who are identified as "black" or "African-Americans" have higher obesity rates. As they're developing their sense of what is beautiful, they're looking at bigger people. There are also cultural associations with size and wealth or success. So bigger size is more accepted in that subculture than in the mainstream one.