[darthfavre]

Thank you Jen and kitty (and Justice's original response) for responding in a non judgemental manner.

As for coercion, here is how much I resorted to coercion in the past. When my wife and I got engaged/married, there were discussions about not using condoms during sex. My wife had tried the pill in a previous relationship and said it threw off her body chemistry. I didnt want to force her to go through that, so, we used condoms for many years until I got a vasectomy.

If I was going to try coercion or a tactic like that, I probably would have tried it before my balls got 2 needles and cut open (sorry for being crude)

I really do appreciate all the responses. Thanks again

[Justice]

. . .

In this particular case, his wife seems happy to give him head with a condom, so there is no mechanical gagging / choking issue. Is the taste so awful that she should't even try once?

True her issue does not seem to be mechanical gagging/choking with a condom. And thus she does it. It might not be "just" taste though. I believe he mentioned texture and that she does not like when he orgasms while he is in her mouth. It might be that she might not mind the taste it she is licking him after he comes, but for her is might gag her if he is ejaculating while he is in her mouth. The throbbing or flow might be the issue not "just" the taste.

Darth if that is not the case and it is just the taste - I have read other threads here on how to improve the taste. Less coffee, lots of liquids including pineapple juice

No one should be forced to do anything, but if your partner really wants something, I think it is good to really try to do it.

.... unless it is not just a "it does not do something for ME", but a "why would you want to make me suffer/miserable" (and what kind of investment are we talking?)

[Stillness]

If somebody wants to talk their husband or wife into doing something with them I don't see how that's anybody's business. Convincing, compromising, and doing things you don't like to please your mate is all part of marriage. Nobody's raping or abusing anybody.

People can debate about whether he or she should do whatever, but it's their marriage, not yours. He has a right to make reasonable requests and to persuade his wife. If she says "no, I don't ever want you to ask me again because it's never happening," then that's her right. But she might not. To debate coersion or whether he should persist does seem like projection. Those things are not the topic of his thread and it's not what he asked for help with.

[jen1447]

Seriously?

Thread: Women's advice needed

I am a new poster who could use some advice from a women's perspective.

Are there any techniques to address her concerns? Or, am I out of line for trying to convince her?

[Stillness]

Point taken.

[Justice]

Geez.

I started out trying to make points mostly to the OP post I gave examples that could explain WHY someone would feel like his wife. Then I was accused of "projection" .

And this comment - below - was more about the folks implying that the wife's concerns were not valid.

And great, she fears throwing up on you - and because she hasn't YET - you dismiss her concerns? not nice

As Jen wrote above , he asked, she answered, he asked again, she confirmed, and he came here and asked us. We answered.

I did not see answers from the guys (or the female supporters/enthusiasts) - so would you be willing to fill/stretch your mouth to the point of gagging or throwing up or feeling like you are being suffocated? Don't cop out by saying you are straight. And then take into account that vaginas are made to be able to accomodate (in most cases) a penis. (Also you don't swallow, or breath through your vagina - or penis), many many mouths are not able to accomodate this. In the OP's case he is aleady have her take him inside. Many women who can/will do this insist on a condom so that there can be an "accidental" oops I got carried away - because his shooting cum at the back of her throat when his penis is in her mouth without a condom is NOT acceptable to many women.

The comments that make it seem like the woman would do this if she cared enough to accomodate the man - do not take into account that there are REAL physical (and other) reasons that are legit. A better comparison is to compare, licking, kissing, sucking (on the outside), feeling, rubbing or sticking your tongue into/around your partners genitals. So yes it seems only fair/right/loving to try to please your partner even orally - and can be an apples to apples or apples to oranges. But IMO this is not apples to apples.

EDITED to add. IN MY OPINION

[rcoreyus]

Its never easy to compare since genders are physically different. Lets say though that my wife had a fantasy about urinating in my mouth. It sounds really gross to me, but if it was something that was important to her, I'd try it.

[Stillness]

Probably the nearest comparison would be a woman who likes oral sex having her husband make her wear a dental dam so that he won't throw up from her fluids.

Sorry Justice. I missed that he asked should he try.

[Justice]

rcoreyus and stillness - thanks for the responses. but to me I think it would be more like a ball gag (or deep thoat-ing).

That was where I was trying - but not succeeding to get to - with the chicken and pig - eek

rcoreyus - I guess that is commitment ... I too have read too many cases of a partner not willing to indulge their partner. But I find the ones more objectionable are the cases where it is more "what is in it for me" (like JonDoe writes about) or "I just don't feel like it" vs "I REALLY find that disgusting/painful/I HAVE to work or attend to a sick child/etc"... or when the rules changed some time into the relationship w/o other important causes.

[rcoreyus]

Internet posts have very little information, so I think there is a strong tendency to map this onto their own experience. Is the women who doesn't like BJs, just sexually selfish, and unwilling to do anything that doesn't directly please her? Is this just one symptom of someone who thinks that sex is all about them. Or who maybe thinks that good sex consists of lying there until he finishes. Does he wrap his life around trying to make her happy and she wont reciprocate at all?

Or, is the guy asking for the BJ, just insisting that his wife do whatever he wants, no matter how unpleasant. Is insisting that she service him - after she does all the house work, takes care of the kids etc. Does he grab her head and choke her? Does his idea of sex come from porn films and he expects he to duplicate everything he sees. Does he think its her fault that she doesn't orgasm after 30 seconds of sex with no foreplay?

We don't know the real situation, without knowing the people involved there is no way to tell.