[Motorguy]

There are some relationships where people love each other and settle for less in the sex department because their SO has so many other great qualities. If that works for them, then that's great. However, sexual inequality can be taxing on a relationship, especially over time.

I was recently engaged in a similar conversation when this question was asked. Honestly, I married my husband for companionship in all departments. If I were interested in a room mate rather than a partner, I'd have never married. That is not to say that there haven't been times when our drives were not in sync, or hampered due to health reasons. Of course, if you LOVE your spouse/partner then health becomes the priority, which leads to a closer bond and eventually lots of sex once health is restored.

It sure seems that I see many posts where the girl is scratching her head wondering where the heck heutr boyfriend's libido went. Role reversal??

That may be true i think for older couples who are maybe senior citizens. Maybe sex is not the big issue any more like you say with health concerns. You can't have sex like you used to so the marriage still has the love for each other but sex is not needed but is companionship for each other. I happen to be luck me and wife sex life kind of is on the same level if she ready I am as well or the other way around that. i have a head ache has never been used by either one of us in 27 years of marriage.

[Stillness]

Role reversal??

The nature of the site? Or maybe the role doesn't reflect a general rule? Maybe large numbers of women have had this issue all along, but have just been silent.

[DreamP346]

It sure seems that I see many posts where the girl is scratching her head wondering where the heck her boyfriend's libido went. Role reversal??

Society teaches us that men are voracious sexual beings with a limitless sexual appetite whereas women/wives are the ones constantly saying no, not enjoying sex, doing it as a chore, etc. Women are taught to keep their legs crossed until marriage and how to fend of the advances of men. Therefore, when women suddenly encounter a male partner with a lower sex drive, it feels like they are the only ones in this position. It feels like something is wrong (with themselves or their partners). Whereas a man with a lower libido wife might just accept it as the norm.

I don't think it is role reversal. I think it is socially created values and perceptions.

[Motorguy]

The nature of the site? Or maybe the role doesn't reflect a general rule? Maybe large numbers of women have had this issue all along, but have just been silent.

That's more like men are from Mars women are from Venus general rule then.

[Euphoric]

MG,

I'm no where close to a senior citizen, LOL. But, I have had a few surgeries that put things on hold. Like you, for the most part my husband and I enjoy a very active sex life And, no, we don't use the headache excuse, either. Spicing things up in the sex department keeps life interesting. Therefore, compatible libido is an important issue for me

[Motorguy]

Society teaches us that men are voracious sexual beings with a limitless sexual appetite whereas women/wives are the ones constantly saying no, not enjoying sex, doing it as a chore, etc. Women are taught to keep their legs crossed until marriage and how to fend of the advances of men. Therefore, when women suddenly encounter a male partner with a lower sex drive, it feels like they are the only ones in this position. It feels like something is wrong (with themselves or their partners). Whereas a man with a lower libido wife might just accept it as the norm.

I don't think it is role reversal. I think it is socially created values and perceptions.

Well women didn't have much say what went on back in the 30,40,50 and into the sixties. There job was a home maker raise the kids and take care of the home and husband made the money. So sex was only when children was brought into the world. The 1970's we saw women take control of there bodies and them self that they could have sex and enjoy it beside just for having kids.Till today many women are independent they don't need a man in there life's to be successful and I believe now more women need sex more often then men do. As you see how the sex toy industry has grown there talking a industry of making together with DVD sales add in as surpass 14 billion dollars in sales. So many women are buying lots of sex toys out there in the world not really needing the man to get off now.

[PhrendlyPhil]

honeybee: If you want it, then have no fear about initiating it. You might have to use various means of seduction (cook him a meal, wear sexy nighty, you know the drill). But there should be no reason why your man can't perform for you at least 2 to 3 times a week to satisfy you (if you're in the mood).

[Motorguy]

MG,

I'm no where close to a senior citizen, LOL. But, I have had a few surgeries that put things on hold. Like you, for the most part my husband and I enjoy a very active sex life And, no, we don't use the headache excuse, either. Spicing things up in the sex department keeps life interesting. Therefore, compatible libido is an important issue for me

Well I will be 50 next month and wife is already 50 but we never used the head ache excuse either. IF one of us has that itch we will go at it. We may never have sex that night but just do oral with some toy play with wife and intercourse never happens. We will fall asleep very satisfied after are fun. But like you saying with your operations was not a excuse not enjoy each other in another sexually activities beside intercourse. You still enjoy that pleasure of each other by cuddling and kissing rubbing,sucking and licking that can be just as pleasurable as intercourse at that time. So Euphoric sounds like a very nice and active marriage as well like me and wife sounds very wonderful in my book.

[Romy]

Well I will be 50 next month and wife is already 50 but we never used the head ache excuse either. IF one of us has that itch we will go at it. We may never have sex that night but just do oral with some toy play with wife and intercourse never happens. We will fall asleep very satisfied after are fun. But like you saying with your operations was not a excuse not enjoy each other in another sexually activities beside intercourse. You still enjoy that pleasure of each other by cuddling and kissing rubbing,sucking and licking that can be just as pleasurable as intercourse at that time. So Euphoric sounds like a very nice and active marriage as well like me and wife sounds very wonderful in my book.

Not a whole lot of couples have the relationship you do with your wife. You're really lucky Motorguy - I cringe when I write lucky because it's not luck, you and your wife have made your relationship a priority (from what I can tell) and you've both reaped the rewards. Loads of people including myself would love to have what you have.

[Motorguy]

Not a whole lot of couples have the relationship you do with your wife. You're really lucky Motorguy - I cringe when I write lucky because it's not luck, you and your wife have made your relationship a priority (from what I can tell) and you've both reaped the rewards. Loads of people including myself would love to have what you have.

Well thank you Romy, for your wonderful kind words that means a lot to me as my wife right now is reading this and thanks you as well. If you don't mind me saying this but wife agrees with me about your eyes she saying so lovely. I really think God intended for me and my wife to be together and after 27 years 4 daughters with 2 grand daughters we still love each other so very much.Oh by the way hows the shopping for the beads going did you fine any that you liked lol good luck with that.