[effy2014]

As I was researching this issue, I came across a great explanation in thoughtcatalog that may help this discussion:

Rape fantasies, actually, should be recategorized as “Culturally inappropriate sex” (CIS). Women are not fantasizing about rape — they’re not thinking, “Oh I wish violence and trauma upon myself,” they’re thinking along the lines of, “Oh, I can imagine my boyfriend wanting me so badly that right when I get home he starts ripping my clothes off.”

The actions involved may be the motions of what rape may look like, but the psychology behind is absurdly different. Comparing rape to CIS is like comparing being forced to travel to a concentration camp to having a romantic getaway to the Bahamas. Yes, traveling is involved, but to vastly different places under vastly different circumstances."

[beethovengenius]

I hate it when people talk about rape in such a flippant manner. But I prefer the term as “Culturally inappropriate sex” or rough consensual sex.

[Little]

Gonna echo Euphoric and say that it's pretty normal for rape survivors (there are plenty of us who don't like being called victims!) to have rape fantasies - even violent fantasies, fantasies that ARE ABSOLUTELY RAPE, not "culturally inappropriate sex." It doesn't mean we want to be raped again or even that we are trivializing the trauma. One might psychoanalyze the situation and say that a survivor who fantasizes about rape is fantasizing a world in which s/he could have enjoyed the violation instead of being traumatized by it.

But explain it however you wish, it is so trivializing for other people (even other survivors) to tell a survivor how s/he should feel about his/her trauma and what is "normal" or out-of-bounds. Not to mention the hypocrisy of telling people whether their fantasies are "okay" on a thread about taboo fantasies

[effy2014]

Great post Little. Survivor is an excellent word and the information. My SO is a survivor of both child abuse and rape.

BG -- no one is being flippant about rape or how we should talk about rape. The discussion was truly about fantasies and the rape fantasy described by CathyG is not out of the mainstream at all. The judgment was just a bit harsh.

[Lexhill]

I will go out on the limb here, but I believe most rape fantasies or “Culturally inappropriate sex” (CIS) if you call it that. This is just the fantasy of being dominated with no choice in the matter from someone specific(In some cases someone unknown but extremely attractive). This would be in the sense of consensual rape or as stated above “Culturally inappropriate sex” (CIS).

This must NOT in any way be mixed with regular rape who is not accepted in any way, and should be punished hard. I am always thinking cut their equipment off.

So what about fantasies of:

1. brother/sister incest, father/daughter incest, mother/child incest, etc.?
2. Rape? Gang rape?
3. Being a child and then molested?
4. other things I'll not mention, but even more taboo than these?

Are these kinds of topics, which can evoke severe condemnation among most people, be legitimate topics of erotic fantasy? These are NOT things anyone wants to really try. They would be horrific experience if they REALLY happened. But fantasy? Don't these make you at least a little uncomfortable to discuss?

I think there are 2 ways of looking at taboo fantasies. You have the once that you find thrilling and the once that are not really fantasies but awful thoughts. The difference is that fantasies are things you would kinda enjoy in the end. The other one is something you are scared that will happen. And in the fantasies that you are the aggressor you should be absolutly certain the victim wants the same thing. If not it goes into being a real rape who is not excepted. But that is why it's fantasies and not reality.

I have had my fair amount of awful thoughts my self. And I am really scared to say them loud even to my self as I am so horrified from making it "ok".

The fantasies is great. Meaning both parties are consenting to the actions done in the end.

[Motorguy]

My self Taboo fantasy with child molesting along with rape fantasy. I am sorry these topics that people want to live out in fantasy are pretty mess up in my book.
Being a dad who had a daughter who was attack 3 years ago and fought the attacker off. I see no thrill or pleasure from these topics at all period. But this is my opinion if others see this as fun fantasy then what ever. But then you need to really think why do you have these type fantasy then.

[Magnetism]

Gonna echo Euphoric and say that it's pretty normal for rape survivors (there are plenty of us who don't like being called victims!) to have rape fantasies - even violent fantasies, fantasies that ARE ABSOLUTELY RAPE, not "culturally inappropriate sex." It doesn't mean we want to be raped again or even that we are trivializing the trauma. One might psychoanalyze the situation and say that a survivor who fantasizes about rape is fantasizing a world in which s/he could have enjoyed the violation instead of being traumatized by it.

But explain it however you wish, it is so trivializing for other people (even other survivors) to tell a survivor how s/he should feel about his/her trauma and what is "normal" or out-of-bounds. Not to mention the hypocrisy of telling people whether their fantasies are "okay" on a thread about taboo fantasies

You mean me,right? . Yeah, I had rape fantasies when I was a teen and wasn't sure why. Now that I'm healed, I don't have them anymore. I love romance so much , as an adult. I hated romance when growing up!

[SamanthaM]

I posted about my sexless life with my boyfriend a few min ago so this is kind of an add on to that...

I just want to have really intence sex with my boyfriend. I want him to be so into me he can't think.

Hmmm...I also want him to dress up as a skeleton and demand me. You know, face paint, bones cloths, bla bla bla.

I would also like him to become so into me in public. Racing us home then destroying me.

[JonDoe]

I want him to be so into me he can't think.

Sadly, I wanted this from my wife too, but it was never to happen. I have a good friend who also wishes the same from her husband, but she will never experience that either. Unfortunately, some people have a low libido, rarely think about sex and appear to have very infrequent urges to express their sexuality.

[LilahX]

You should be able to share anything sexual with your partner without judgement. That's what brings you closer. Just let him know you don't expect to act anything out, you just want to be open and let him know more about you. Many people have fantasies that remain just that. Others go to the next step and fulfill them and that can bring you a lot closer together. Personally I don't think anything is taboo if it's consensual. You would be massively surprised about what so called 'average normal' couples get up to behind closed doors. Talk to him, intrigue him by letting him know there's a side to you that he's yet to discover. Good luck!